Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Good Vibes

Hello everybody. Short post here about keeping good vibes going. How does one do it? Well, you have to really want it. You have to really feel it in your inner spirit. You have to become an outsider [Like Colin Wilson's Outsider] in some sense. You can't just sit there and just keep on keeping on like everything is the same, you have to mentally [if not physically] emote in some sort of way. 

The entire COVID thing has a lot of people mentally out of wack. They're stressed out. They've lost their jobs. They're gnashing and grinding their teeth. They're working at home with their kids. They've realized that college might not get them the dream job they want. They realize they can't get the extra paying job they want. They realize the job they have right now isn't doing it for them in some way. Of course, those are all valid concerns that must be worked out in some way, shape or form. 

But the historicity of the moment calls for a more relaxed mind, a more reserved outlook and persona. You need to know how to keep up the good vibes even when you're alone [existentially for me], and have no one to fall back on [sorry]. 

How does one achieve this? Well, I've written extensively about this in a lot of other blogs. There's no easy answer but the main answer is that it takes a lot of work, training, practice, and perseverance. The thing I have that none of my friends, co-workers, or acquaintances have is this so-called good vibes, like a zen happiness that can't be learned [maybe it can't even be taught, and remember if you have this skill most people will be jealous of you], one must acquire it on his own, through extensive training, like a jedi knight or a sith lord. 

You have to really want it. You have to really feel it. You have to just take it out of your mind and push it into reality, make the metaphysical become physical. The year of 2020 will bring much more misery and death. Sometimes the best thing you can do is have good vibes, a good outlook, and hope. 

Didn't someone once say that revolutions were built on hope?

Monday, September 28, 2020

The Chairman's Method: Re-Education Through Labor


Hello, ladies and gentlemen of the internet. My grand extravaganza of a birthday weekend just passed. Here are a few thoughts on that said birthday, and what it feels like to be 31 in 2020. 

Life is moving pretty fast these days it seems. Yes, the pandemic has brought everything to the penultimate halt but people are still out here trying to make their dreams become reality. Today, my manager and co-worker sort of grilled me about how I need to get a real career going. I've been at the company for some seven years in retail there at the market. Things have gone okay but not great there. And now with the pandemic in full effect [and it will get much worse mind you], hours have been scarce, including for me. 

So they mentioned that I should go to trade school. And that a four year degree is worthless. Well, I agreed with that part at least about the four year degree. The way I see life and work is that I chose the road less traveled, the much harder road, the road where you'll feel your work through your blood, sweat, and tears, [like the rock band] more so than through your paycheck. 

What I mean is that I chose re-education through labor rather than the traditional college route. To be honest I have no regrets but eventually my body will feel it a lot more [this is why I must lose weight and become as healthy as possible because my 40s will be much harder] in the next decade. I've never been a follower, so consequently I've never had a leader, meaning that I've pretty much gone my own way my entire life. A real lone wolf in that sense. Scary and intense as fuck! Lol.   

Sure, I've had some guidance here and there but if I'm forced into something, that's usually a sure sign of it not working out. That's why I've gone the Chairman's Method, Re-Education Through Labor. 

Instead of going to college and getting a degree and spending a fortune to educate myself, I've instead chosen to work as much as I physically can, get as much money as I can, and spend all my time off work educating myself by reading the Western Canon, history, philosophy, [and science fiction]. I've created an online persona [this blog] where I can write about, well anything and everything I've read, learned, or experienced. Another big part of that re-education is all the music I play, primarily teaching myself how to play jazz guitar through live experience with a talented saxophonist. It ain't much but its honest work. 

I feel very good about what I've done so far and I'm very optimistic about the future. I think I'll eventually figure out a more profitable job or career, but even if I don't, I won't feel like a loser because I didn't become a master of the universe [Elon or Zuckerberg]. I won't become a bitter man because I didn't become rich. I won't look at people any less. I won't become more solitary and turn away from society like some depressed slightly older millennial who thinks they deserve much more than they have received without putting in the effort in order to achieve this godlike status. I know what all those people are like. They're miserable. But I'm not. I'm actually happy. 

The biggest lie in society is that you must have, have, have, in order to be happy. Yes, you would be happier if you kept having more and more and more but the more you become attached to these things, the less meaning they contain, and until you see that, you can only truly live in a material world, free from the spiritual self, which is where the real magic happens. Until you learn to live [and let die], you can never detach yourself from the material world. The material world tells me I need a degree, that I need a trade school, that I need to do this, need to do that. But my spirit tells me all I need to know. This is where the Chairman's Method has lead me so far. If you see me on the road, don't kill me. 

With Tales of Brave Ulysses, how his naked ears were tortured, by the Sirens sweetly singing.

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Birthday Op-Ed

Breonna Taylor's Case and Death: What We Know - The New York Times

So my birthday is tomorrow. I'm pretty excited to enjoy the next three days off work, relaxing with family and friends. I wanted to jot down some thoughts about today, this year, this birthday, and what it means for me, and consequently for all.

Today a cop was ONLY charged for misfire shots, NOT for the death of Breonna Taylor. Although the family has been paid off some $12 million, the fact that the cop or cops in question weren't charged for manslaughter is an unforced error. Consequently, the streets of Kentucky are running hot, because as the hardcore BLM people say, "No Justice, No Peace." It's a dishonor to her memory. She was a front line health worker. The law in Kentucky has been written in a way that does not help black people, and it could be argued that it is written in a way to hurt them, as what happened in this situation. The disregard of black life animates much of life in America these days.

This goes into the question; what kind of country do we want to be? For the police and county and Kentucky not to have charged at least one cop for the death of Taylor is an unforced error. They couldn't at least have charged one cop for manslaughter? That's ridiculous. Instead they charged one cop for misfiring. That's just stupid. They might as well have not charged any cops with anything, that's what that charge was good for.

Now, I'm not a conspiratorial man. I leave that to the Socialist Leftists and the Far Right Trump Supporters. BUT...I also believe that this plays right into the hands of Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. Bare with me. Kentucky is Mitch's state and if protests break into violence and deaths then this is the perfect scenario for McConnell and Trump to say, "Look! All these blacks are acting out.  They're dangerous. They're going to come to your cities and burn everything to the ground. Keep Mitch in power, he will protect you in Kentucky. Keep me as President, I will quell the chaos." That's pretty much exactly how I see the scenario playing out. Consequently, Trump's numbers will go up and he could even be reelected.

Now we get to the crux of the matter, the Tolstoyian question; who are we? What kind of country have we become, and what kind of country will we choose to be? I believe this is the most important year in my life, given everything that's happened [dismantling of American democracy, COVID, stagnant wages, unemployment, 200,000 American deaths, and this is just the beginning], and with that being said, this is the most important election of my lifetime thus far, probably the most important election of this country [ever]. 

Because you see that whatever direction we go in this election year will determine the fate of America. If we choose Trump then we will have chosen evil. We will go down the continued path of dismantling American democracy and fanning the flames of racism, bigotry, and hatred for anybody who isn't white. If we choose Biden/Harris then we will have seen the ultimate errors of our ways and try to find a way to go back to the way things were before [which will take years because Trump has already done so much damage]; human decency and respect for your fellow man [and woman]. 

There's no easy way to say this but I'm afraid that America will choose the wrong path, the Trumpian way, and delve deep into a ever evolving fascist system. More Americans will die, probably much faster because Trump will continue to botch COVID if reelected. More black Americans will be shot by policemen, provoking the black community to protest [and maybe some will riot], enabling Trump to fan the flames of racism, and allow him to say, "I will keep your cities safe from them." Unemployment will continue to be at its high peaks and the only jobs available will be low end minimum wage. College degrees will hardly be worth the tuition because families will not only not be able to afford it but they won't want to send their kids to school during COVID. 

Imagine if I were 20 instead of 31. This all would not only be very overwhelming to me, it would penetrate the fiber of my being. However, because I'm already an adult, and have lived a fairly privileged life, I feel the weight of this moment more powerfully than ever. I know that nothing is more important than the history that is happening now. I quit playing video games and find the internet to be not very worthy of my time. I live my life to the fullest everyday and love all the people in my life. This younger generation is going to have a much harder time than I did. College won't save them from COVID and Donald Trump. Let's pray the voters make the right choice. 

Biden/Harris 2020 

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Thoughts While Improvising


What goes in the mind of a musician while he or she is improvising? Hard question to tackle, but without further adieu, here's a post entitled Thoughts While Improvising. Keep in mind that these are taken from my point of view. For other musicians it might be a lot different. They could be thinking about cheeseburgers. 

First, I'm always thinking about the melody, the chords, and certain scales or motifs that work within that system. I always look at the song and keep the melody, chords, and scales in my mind's eye, so to speak, so that when I need to take a solo after my band mates, I don't have to focus on any of that stuff as much. Rather, it's ingrained in my head through repetition; of hearing the song a million times, hearing other people play the song, hearing my band play the song before, hearing my band mates play their solo and adjusting to it when I go, and hearing the familiar chord progression and melodies. The easy way of explaining it is that you have to study the song [the chords, the melodies, the rhythms, the comping, the lead work] before you can truly know the song, and then after you've done that, you can throw it away, and go to the next stage. 

Second, there are always those type of musicians who don't have to study songs to improvise well. Perhaps they're just natural good musicians and can improvise on a muddy boot some amazing rhythms. This is the part where if you know all the meat and potatoes of the song [the structure, the chords, the melodies], if you're comfortable enough and have enough practice, you can actually just throw all that stuff out the window, and, gasp[!], just play straight from the heart. This is more of a bluesy [and rock] feel rather than a straight ahead jazz approach [at least imo] but it gets the job done. This style of improvisation, when I play like this, I don't think about anything at all in particular, rather, my playing ebbs and flows through my inner feelings, my inner emotions. I believe that this is true jazz improvisation, but sometimes you have to study the song in order to get here [I prefer to study the songs]. 

Third, I think about the main theme of the song. What's the main melody? Remember to always keep that in mind even if you're going far over the moon in a modern straight ahead jazz guitar solo [think Mike Moreno, Lage Lund, Mary Halvorson]. If you keep playing the melody, add permutations to it, and add that as part of your solo, it gives your solo a lot of structure and weight. Sometimes I think about the melody, and come back to it, either at the end of the song repeating the head, or just ending the song in an interesting way, using the melody to form an unusual [b9, #11, 13th note chords] but great sounding chord[s] to end on. 

Lastly, improvisational music is a spiritual endeavor. One of the magical things about playing a form of music that is based on improvisation [jazz] is that when you improvise, there's no telling where you're going in your head. You're sitting on a chair but metaphysically speaking, you could be flying across the heavens. For me, it feels as if time itself has ceased to exist, and all my thoughts have ceased to exist, and I'm in some sort of black hole, blacked out from the rest of the world and others, even when people see me play on a stage [although I feel them and their feelings too], I feel this inward prescience, the cosmic energies that arise out of me and into the world, the world-hood of the world, a sort of being and time, daesein, if you will.

Improvisation brings me to a spiritual plane where nothing can hurt you, you're invincible, you can fuck up and make mistakes but it won't hinder you or hurt you in the long run, it forces you to adapt to any and new situations, teaches you how to play in an ensemble with others, how to comp [accompany, strum chords for the band] for other musicians, how to take solos, how to play melodies with confidence and ease. When you see that this is all part of the vast history of American jazz you can see how your playing has been influenced by history, and you can take solace in the fact that you are keeping the tradition alive through your music, however you choose to do it. There's really nothing quite like it. Even though I love rock and roll, there's something about jazz, about improvisational music, that can't be forgotten, that can't be broken, it's still untouched, perfected by time, and the great performers that played it. 

There's no right or wrong way to think while improvising. Most of the time I feel like I'm not thinking at all, rather that I'm feeling the music in a much more visceral way. Sometimes you get so used to just playing from the gut, that eventually everything you play comes from that same place, where you're playing more off your own feelings rather than the song or the song's structure. Whatever works is fine. Finding your muse is what takes a long time when it comes to improvisation. Find what works for you. One thing I didn't mention is that sometimes when you're doing improv, you have to think about what you're going to play ahead of the time. Things like that. Who knows, for some people, thinking about cheeseburgers might encourage them to play a lot better. For others, much less so.   

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Thoughts on Tolstoy's War and Peace, Parts V-X

Tolstoy - War and Peace - first edition, 1869.jpg
 

Okay, so if you have made it this far on my series on War and Peace, thanks for reading. Make sure you check out the last post here. So if you saw that post you noticed that although the book has many characters in it, I focused mostly on Pierre and Prince Andrey. 

Pierre goes on a hunt for spiritual enlightenment by joining the Freemasons. Andrey recovers from a near fatal wound from an army battle, only to come home and have his wife die from childbirth, the child Nikolai survives but Andrey feels bad that he didn't treat his wife better. 

Pierre's wife, who Pierre had a falling out with because he believed she was cheating on him, begs Pierre to take her back, and Pierre, urged by the Freemasons' laws of forgiveness, decides to take her back. 

Natasha, the Countess of the Rostov family, is engaged with Prince Andrey. However, she meets a new man, named Anatole who seamlessly gets her to fall in love with him, and him with her. Faced with new feelings of loving a different man other than Prince Andrey, she inevitably breaks off the marriage with Andrey, which was scheduled to go on. This entire section devoted to Natasha, her falling in, and consequently out of love is such a heartbreaking part of this book. Because when you see that she could have been happy if not for wanting more, wanting what she couldn't have, you see how capricious love really can be sometimes. What is also interesting is that Pierre realizes he's in love with Natasha. And Prince Andrey coldly accepts Natasha's break off of the engagement, but he doesn't wish to ever see her again. 

Meanwhile, the whole of Russia is fighting Napoleon's army. Napoleon is characterized by Tolstoy as a charismatic man, even a good man, although he has his moments of arrogance. At times he sounds like a guy who loves the sound of his own voice. But at other times, he's sympathetic, caring, charismatic, powerful, well spoken, the very best of the best qualities that leaders and generals all share. Napoleon is a man who has many virtues according to this description in the book. 

Alright, so all these things are happening right after the next. But it is also at the end of this section [or near it at least], where the rest of War and Peace becomes a reading difficulty, the strain on you from reading the book becomes much more intensified, there's a degree of heaviness that bears upon the soul. Because of that this is probably one of the most difficult, most intense books I have ever read, maybe will ever read, who knows. 

Because you see that Tolstoy puts every emotion: joy, surprise, fear, disgust, anger, contempt, and sadness, and all the variations on and between them. This is what is meant by the fact that the second part of War and Peace [this part and onward to the end] becomes less a literary novel and more a grand philosophical design. "Tolstoy wrote in a letter to Afanasy Fet that what he has written in War and Peace is also said by Schopenhauer in The World as Will and Representation. However, Tolstoy approaches it from the other side." [wiki]

"Tolstoy said War and Peace is "not a novel, even less is it a poem, and still less a historical chronicle." Large sections, especially the later chapters, are philosophical discussions rather than narrative. Tolstoy also said that the best Russian literature does not conform to standards and hence hesitated to call War and Peace a novel. Instead, he regarded Anna Karenina as his first true novel." [wiki]

So when Tolstoy puts these aristocrat characters in these very personal, intense situations, and then he goes into every detail of their lives in a grand philosophical way, you get to experience philosophy in a much more literal literary form. It's been simplified of course so that we can experience it more from our hearts rather than just from our heads. This is important to note because I think this is what is meant by the fact that Tolstoy says the same thing as Schopenhauer in his The World as Will and Representation, but "from the other side," the other side could perhaps be the heart rather than the head [or brain]. I've also seen this particular comparison in Fritz Lang's Metropolis [the mediator between, the heart and the brain]. 

The book has become immensely more difficult but I plan to be done with the novel perhaps by early next week, perhaps earlier. At this point its not about how long it takes to read 1200 pages, rather it is about all the thinking that takes place when one reads something like this. You'll be thinking a lot. Nonstop, in fact, it seems. 

Monday, September 21, 2020

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse Virus pt. 9: It can't get much worse

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band | The Beatles 

Lennon's return phrase to McCartney's "It's Getting Better All the Time," comes to mind right about now, "It Can't Get Much Worse". As of today there are currently over 200,000 Americans who have died due to corona virus, the novel virus. Just try to take that in. That's an immensely large number, but more importantly, we can't look at them as just numbers; rather those are men, women, and children who have died and will never come back. Seeing things from that angle, it really can't get much worse, but of course, it will. Brace yourselves. Winter is coming.

As far as work goes there's a lot to say. We aren't limiting the numbers of customers that come into the store so sometimes it gets super packed and we're stuck working on top of each other like sardines. The company took away our $2 emergency bonus pay and never reinstated it, BUT decided all they had to do to remedy this was by giving us $100 on our employee discount cards. The $100 was a nice touch but in actuality the $2 bonus pay was much more important, it held symbolic power, and the fact that the union could not and did not get it back is a harsh blow to retail workers, the so-called front line workers. 

The store is filthy. Nothing is clean. In the beginning of the pandemic management was going crazy having everything cleaned all the time. Now, some six months later, it's like they don't even care anymore. Why bother? The punch-in clock is never cleaned, door handles are never cleaned, the break room is a dirty mess, and on top of that most of the registers, and definitely the payment pads aren't wiped down at all, or at least not often, I've never seen it being done. It's just something I've come to expect over there. Unless I clean something myself, almost nobody else there will really be cleaning surfaces or any areas that are touched by multiple people. It's troublesome because I think customers would be very squeamish to the idea that the payment pads are never properly wiped, possibly spreading more and more germs between customers, a higher risk of COVID, at least theoretically.  

Surprisingly though, our store has only had about 3 or 4 cases confirmed. I believe there was a couple unconfirmed cases of employees/management who were exposed and might have been infected, and these individuals went into quarantine for two weeks and then promptly returned thereafter. So as dark as it seems, surprisingly not very many people have caught it at our store, and if they did catch it, it is believed they caught it out elsewhere, not while working at the store. So in that sense, although the fear and danger is hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles, in actuality, my chances of actually getting COVID from the store and dying from it is probably relatively small.

However, you're never truly safe while working retail. Some of my friends have caught COVID and they had strong reactions to it. One of them was bedridden for a week straight, forcing his friend to take care of him, and he caught the virus while helping him, although it was a more mild case. And another friend had a mild case of it, but said that his breathing was so heavily impacted, that sometimes when he was trying to sleep his breathing would almost stop. They believe they have anti-bodies now, and that perhaps they are immune, but now I'm wondering what are the true long term effects of the corona virus, for I see that in some of these people that they aren't quite the same after they've caught the virus. Perhaps it also does some long term neurological damage, because I see strong changes in personality and a stronger sense of irritability in them, as if they've lost a piece of themselves and will never get it back. I think that if you think you're going to die from this virus, and it impacts you much harder than just a mild case, it changes you for life.  

In terms of what the future brings, who knows for sure really. And anyone who says they know is lying to you or taking you for a fool's errand. Honestly, it's pure dystopia out here. Who needs to watch Handmaid's Tale TV show when we're actually living right through it with ICE abusing women in detention facilities, and the Trump administration fundamentally dismantling American democracy like the death-cult that they are. I guess right now in this particular blog I'm not too optimistic about the future. I think a vaccine is far down the line. Many, many, many more Americans will die from COVID during this time until there is a vaccine, and by the time the vaccine is available it will already have been too late because our numbers will probably already have reached near 400,000 by then, my rough estimate. 

If there is a silver lining it is the fact that things are so bad and so many bad things have happened under Trump's watch, that it is nearly impossible for him to recover from this: he botched corona virus and didn't respond to it in a way that could've saved more Americans [he downplayed it, resulting in much higher numbers of American deaths], George Floyd's murder brought the whole country together in a way that hasn't been seen since the 1960s Civil Rights Movement, he was impeached [at least on paper], he's torn asunder the Republican party and turned it into a laughing stock of cowardice, spineless idiocy, and Americans are just fed up of him with his lies and hate.  

So in fact even if it can't much worse, there's a hope that it will get better, and that hope is what keeps me going everyday. There's a lot to think about. At this moment the best thing we can do is be there for ourselves, our loved ones, and try to find a way to live, a new way to live, that isn't tied down by the constraints of dream jobs, lots of money, and other such desires. Staring at the face of death, into the abyss, it only appears to be staring back at us.

Saturday, September 19, 2020

September Feels

September is my favorite month. Why? A lot of people I know seem to have birthdays in September, including my father, myself, and many kids I went to school with. I also like October because its the following month after, and my birthday is five days right before. I also just love the season of Fall, when the leaves fall off the trees, burning a red and orange color. I want to take the time here to jot down some general thoughts during this time period. 

There's a lot going on right now. Today was rushashuna so it was a busy day at work [luckily I worked a short late shift]. There's something about the Jewish holidays, and this one in particular that I find to have significant importance, at least for myself. Perhaps because it's near my birthday, but for some reason I always know when rushashuna is happening and I even have memories of this particular day in September going back to high school and middle school. 

Perhaps because some of my teachers were Jewish and they went out of their way to explain to us students the significance of this holiday, and what it meant to them. I'm definitely not a religious person by any means but I think it's important, and interesting that I put a certain significance to this particular Jewish holiday. I was in a cooking class back in high school, perhaps junior year when I first learned about rushashuna. The teacher was a short woman, I can still remember her plump white hands as she would show us how to bake cookies. Of course, the holiday has a significance like no other in the Jewish calendar, as it represents God's creation of the world. 

On top of that today the Notorious RBG [Ruth Bader Ginsburg] died at the age of 87. Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg was definitely going to pass away soon as 87 is very old age and she had gone through multiple cancers and somehow still survived and lived to do much more good work, after a lifetime of work dedicated to equality and justice in America. She's an American hero, a legend that will never be forgotten. 

The problem though is that we're 40-something days before an election and now because of her death, the Republicans [led by McConnell] will probably fill her Supreme Court seat with a conservative judge. Yeah, because that's exactly what America needs right now, another conservative Supreme Court pick chosen by Trump, after they already got their rapist Supreme Court pick with Kavanaugh. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth that they got him, now they'll get another conservative pick? The only thing left to do is to make sure you all go out and vote, and vote Democrat because as Hillary Clinton said, "these people only care about power, not about what's good for the country, or the future." Well said indeed. 

On top of that we're all also dealing with COVID-19 still. America still has the highest deaths and the most infections. At this rate we're going to go over 200,000 deaths very soon. That is very scary. Nearly 200,000 Americans have died from COVID-19 when there is no reason that should've happened. We didn't do the testing. We closed and opened up too fast and too soon.

People aren't heeding the warnings and are still gathering and partying even though the pandemic is still going strong. We think we've already gone through the first wave but the fact of the matter is that we're still in the first wave. I seriously blame Trump's bad leadership for some of the deaths but the reality is that COVID would've decimated us either way, however, I do believe that Trump could have handled it better. We are Americans and we can handle the truth; instead Trump downplayed the virus and made his supporters think we were safe when we're all in danger. And for that, he should never be forgiven, lose the election, and be sent to jail for crimes against the State, some of which was addressed in the Impeachment Inquiry and the Mueller Report. 

Even more we have the 2020 Election coming up. A lot of Democrats, moderate left-wingers, and plain regular folks have been uneasy about this election. They were expecting Hillary to win in 2016 [what a blow to feminism that was] and now they see that they don't have a perfect or ideal candidate [Biden] so they're a little uneasy. I'm a little shaky on this election. This is the most important election in my lifetime so far. Democrats can't afford to blow it. 

However, I also realize that important life changing events have happened that have pretty much guaranteed that Trump will lose. Of course I don't know if its a guarantee but I believe these events are so important that they will make an impact, hopefully forcing Trump out of office this election. The events are as follows: The murder of George Floyd caught on video, the outrage of police/citizens killing and using extreme force against black and brown people, the mass protests for said outrage [where whites and blacks took to the streets even though they could've caught COVID], COVID-19 itself and its mismanagement by the Trump administration, and the Trump administration's misuse, mismanagement, and disruption of American democracy. These things are life changing for every American and they are so bad, so utterly terrible that I believe Trump can never recover from it. Let's certainly hope so. 

Finally, I realize a lot of this is out of my control and must take care of myself. I spend most of my time reading. I read the news less these days but watch the news almost every day. I'm halfway through War and Peace by Tolstoy and am truly enjoying it. I find solace in the superb story telling of a great Russian writer such as Tolstoy. 

As each day goes by I realize that the material world is not for me; I spend less and less time on the computer and spend more time reading, writing, and playing the guitar. If I ever get anywhere in this world, it will be through those pursuits. Even if the world is burning outside, I know that inside myself, there is a spiritual place, a path resides therein, to make your way in the world, and out, where no evil can touch you.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

More Music On YouTube

I finally decidied it was time to add some new music to my YouTube channel. Check it out below, make sure to like and subscribe, and of course, thank you very much for listening. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRsQnG723_g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhE13KmPWIM&t=285s

Equinox, September

I had a pretty good jam session today with my friend, who plays the alto saxophone. Check out this track here, its a cover of Coltrane's Equinox. It's a minor blues with a swing feel. The autumnal equinox is among us and right around the time of my birthday. Enjoy, and thank you for listening. 

Recorded 9/16/2020

Orlando Figueroa, Guitar

Jason Thomas, alto saxophone

https://soundcloud.com/user-294063763/equinox-quarantine916

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Thoughts on Tolstoy's War and Peace, Parts I-V

 
Tolstoy - War and Peace - first edition, 1869.jpgSo I'm reading War and Peace by Tolstoy for the first time. I figured I would do a writing exercise where I lay out my thoughts on what I've read so far and use it as further analysis for when I finish the book and inevitably write more about it. Because the book is some 1200 pages, I thought breaking it down into parts might be easier to read and understand, mostly for myself, but also for the readers. So without further adieu, here are my thoughts on War Peace Parts I-V, approximately from page 1 to 400, about 1/3 of the book. This will read like a reaction review.

For starters, this book is amazing. The beginning is quite complicated because Tolstoy introduces many characters at once, everybody is chatty, and many characters are introduced right after the other. What you get is that there are about 3 or 4 major characters, and everyone else are minor characters that might get more screen time later on, presumably. 

Pierre appears to be the "main", main character, a bastard son who's committed some crimes in the past, like the hilarious crime where he tied a police officer to a bear. He inherits a large some of money from the Count, his father, and is troubled by what he must do with it, as well as what he should do with his life in general. He thinks his wife is having an affair with a family friend, a gentlemen he's helped greatly in life. Pierre challenges him to a duel, and the poor man doesn't even fire at Pierre because of everything Pierre's done for him, but Pierre shoots him, satisfying his ego but destroying his soul in the process. Later, Pierre tries to pick the pieces and come to grace, by becoming a Freemason and changing his life forever, trying to become a better man; a better man to his peasants, his family, and his friends. Tolstoy goes into great detail, displaying Pierre's initiation into Freemasonry, and its quite what you would expect.

Prince Andrey seems to be another important, "main", character. He joins the army and fights against the French, fighting against Napoleon. He goes to war to prove himself and become a hero, he wants to be loved by men who will never know his name, but instead all he finds is death and suffering. He wants Pierre to apologize to his wife about the duel and the affair, for which Pierre had no evidence, but Pierre wants nothing to do with his wife and says he's done with it forever. 

Pierre and Andrey seem to me to be the two most important characters in the novel thus far. There are many other characters; children of the aristocrats [they're all rich people here except for the maids and peasants, who sometimes take on important roles], princesses, counts, generals, soldiers, the list goes on and on, but for me, I tend to focus on Pierre and Andrey because Tolstoy writes them [as well as the minor characters, fantastically] with such detailed precision, its like an x-ray onto the character. Tolstoy goes into the general character, their thoughts, their moods, their language and dialogue, but he also goes into the soul of the character; mind, body, and spirit, which brings me to my next point. 

At this point in the book one begins to realize that this is not just a book, not just a story. Sure, there are innovative plot points and the narrative flows better than most fiction today [the development of good story and narration is something I learned a lot about from Don Quixote, but Tolstoy is such a master of this art, that it leaves one awestruck], but what I'm getting at is that this book isn't just a story, or about characters, or about war and peace, rather it could perhaps be a grand philosophical opus. Tolstoy himself said that War and Peace was his take on German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer's ideas, particularly his masterpiece, The World as Will and Representation. 

Here is where the reader must know Kant, and must know that Schopenhauer's ideas take off from Kant's metaphysical system of transcendental idealism. 

Schopenhauer saw the human will as our one window to the reality behind the world as representation, i.e. the external world as we experience it through our mental faculties. According to Schopenhauer, the will is the 'inner essence' of the entire world, i.e. the Kantian thing-in-itself (Ding an sich), and exists independently of the forms of the principle of sufficient reason that govern the world as representation. Schopenhauer believed that while we may be precluded from direct knowledge of the Kantian noumenon, we may gain knowledge about it to a certain extent (unlike Kant, for whom the noumenon was completely unknowable). This is because, according to Schopenhauer, the relationship between the world as representation and the world as it is 'in itself' can be understood by investigating the relationship between our bodies (material objects, i.e. representations, existing in space and time) and our will. [wiki] 

That's very intense German metaphysics for the laymen, but the ideas represented do fit like a missing puzzle piece to this great novel. Why do you think this novel is so great? Of course Tolstoy read Schopenhauer and took some ideas of it for War and Peace.

More on this subject when I reach the halfway point. Watch this space.   

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha


"The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha (Modern Spanish: El ingenioso hidalgo (in Part 2, caballero) Don Quijote de la Mancha, is a Spanish novel by Miguel de Cervantes. It was published in two parts, in 1605 and 1615. A founding work of Western literature, it is often labeled "the first modern novel" and many authors consider it to be the best literary work ever written." [wiki]

 The book is about an old noble named Alonso Quixano, who reads so many books of knighthood and chivalry that he goes mad out of his mind, decides he's a knight, and goes out on adventures; helping fair maidens, righting wrongs, dreaming the impossible dream. Once he reinvents himself as Don Quixote de la Mancha, he recruits a simple farmer named Sancho Panza as his squire. Although Sancho is a simple farmer, he speaks eloquently at times throughout the novel, and he's a master of endless proverbs, much to Quixote's chagrin. 

To put it simply, Don Quixote doesn't want to or simply doesn't understand or take the world for what it is [1600s Spain] and instead decides to live in a fantasy where he's a knight. The book takes place in the 1600s, in Spain, so at that point the people of his world think he's a lunatic, for knighthood and chivalry were seen as things of the past, medieval. People had already moved past that at this point, in the novel, and in the real time period in which Cervantes wrote the book. 

"The book was a bestseller and had a strong impact on the literary community, influencing works like Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers (1844) and Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884). The 19th-century German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer cited Don Quixote as one of the four greatest novels ever written." [wiki]

I consider Don Quixote as the all time best example of the first modern novel. It bridges the gap between medieval classical literature and modern literature. Why is this the case? Well, for starters, the old medieval literature that comes before this period puts God above all else. As above, so below. The ancient literature might not be about the Christian God, rather it revolves around other deities, like the Greek or Roman gods, or others. Literature back then was meant solely for the glorification of God or gods, sometimes employing heroes to carry out their bidding.

Here comes Don Quixote in 1605. Although it isn't the "first" example of what I would consider modern literature, it's surely the best and does it the best. This differs from ancient and medieval literature because its one of the first and best examples of the transition from ancient/medieval literature to modern literature. Why? Because you can clearly see that the transition from glorification to God goes to being about the individual, becoming less religious, but still examining central themes that every novel has; looking at virtue, the mind, the body, and the soul. Just as important is the fact that this is the first example in literature where we have a linear story-line, stellar story telling, narrative development, and a beginning, middle, and end. Mostly all other works of fiction prior wasn't like this although you can find little snippets and elements throughout various time periods and other countries' works of fiction. For these reasons, Don Quixote is in my opinion, one of the best books of all time, maybe the best novel ever written. 

Don Quixote is considered both a comedy and a tragedy. For its time it was considered comic. You can say its central idea is that individual can be right while society is wrong. It was considered social commentary, satire, if you will. 

What does it mean? This is a hard question to tackle, because the work is open to many different interpretations. For myself, I saw the work like a comedy or satire movie. I watched a man bewitched with his silly knight-errantry. I laughed throughout most of his silly adventures but there was always certain moments when I would stop laughing and think this is quite sad, this gentlemen being so far out of wack that he doesn't even know when he's being taken advantage of. The beauty of the work is that even if you find it tragic, or even if you find it too funny, you're never laughing or crying too long, because Cervantes throws so much at you; more plot development, more characters, more actions, more dialogue, more of everything, more is more. Because of this you don't [or at least I didn't] get bogged down by my emotions. 

The one truly emotional part, for me at least, was at the halfway mark through the book, where Don Quixote gets into too much trouble, gets really hurt, almost dies, and goes back to his house to get rest and heal from his wounds. This is where he might denounce knighthood and end it all forever, and just relax at home. When he gets home, his niece and his maid are worried sick for him, and are so afraid he might die from his wounds, that they are tearing their hair out and cursing knighthood and chivalry. That was when I realized how powerful this book truly is and was.

What the book means to me is quite simple. Even if you are mad, your reality is only substantiated by society so much. In a way, you are your reality. I think, therefore I am. Don Quixote thinks he's a knight-errant, so he is a knight-errant. It's very simple but very deep in a philosophical way and individualistic way. 

Lastly, it must be mentioned that this novel made me see the development and history of the novel in good form. The progression of beginning, middle, and end, development of story, narration, dialogue, action, plot, climax, are all great elements within the novel. Although I was aware of all of these important literary devices, it was only while reading Don Quixote that I came to understand, see, and analyze these devices in other works of literature, news articles, and even in spoken dialogue between friends and family. There's a form and there's substance, you can see it when it's there, and you can see it when it's missing. This was such a big revelation to me as a reader and a people's person, who gets so much out of spoken dialogue with friends, family, acquaintances, and customers. 

There's a way to tell a story and Cervantes was a master of doing so. I'll definitely check it out again at some point and take a look at some other translations. I switched between reading the late 1800s Ormsby translation and the modern Edith Grossman translation. I like the older translation better for a more literal older style and I liked Edith Grossman's translation for its simplicity. This is one of the best novels, you must read this if you like books, especially classics of the western canon. Even if you can't read all 800 pages, just being familiar with the work will make an impression upon you.  

"Bewitched with his silly knight-errantry."

On Reading

Reading, a peaceful balm for the soul, A refuge from life's tumultuous toll, An escape from the world's constant noise, A respite fr...