may gloom, june bloom!

Goodbye May gloom, hello June bloom! Looks like even the weather's trying to keep up with my mood swings. What can I say, I'm feeling kind of blue. But this too, shall pass.

Here we are in May. Six months from now we will have a new American President. I think Trump will actually win the election. The court cases and the sensational news about it, every excruciating detail even the stuff about Stormy Daniels, has somehow made Trump even stronger. I think his base are more fired up than ever, and they're around me everyday at the supermarket. Woe is me. Hopefully violence doesn't break out. 

Why I think this. Well, for starters, I think Biden has alienated a lot of his base. People like me, young people, people of culture who vote and think and read and have jobs and families, people who usually always vote democrat, I think Biden has really messed with this set of peoples. However, I think one part of his base that will remain loyal to him no matter what is black women, a large portion of the democratic base. 

I don't want Biden to be President, and I think he's doing a disservice to the world community by funding and sending arms to Israel to use against the war in Gaza, but to be fair, what it really has become, is the Israeli military beating and blowing up Gazan civilians and destroying their infrastructure, now leading to famine. 

I think the outrage and disgust against this war will ultimately result in the loss for the democrats and lead to the takeover of America by the republican party, sponsoring Trump to rule as a fascist despot in the guise of a republican party leader. Almost like some bad nazi won the war movie. That's worst case scenario. And I know you know and think that Americans don't want this. But what if they 0 don't consider swing voters enough 1 don't show up to vote 2 vote for trump 3 end up being okay with being run by a fascist despot, because after all 1 i got mine and 2 those other people don't matter and 3 they should work harder. These are things you've got to think about if you're being realistic. 

Next, the pressing issue of people in today's society and culture. Now, it seems to be that most people out there are not taking care of business. Your parents aren't taking care of business, your managers aren't taking care of business, your friends aren't taking care of business, you have to take care of business yourself. 

So this means you can't just turn on, tune in, and drop out like Timothy Leary. Although many of the older American friends of mine have turned on to this decadent hippie lifestyle. What they'll do is find a way to finance themselves in the easiest way possible, barely work, have a house for them and a girlfriend/wife, and just coast while drinking a lot and perhaps indulging in some occasional recreational drug use. 

Keep in mind I work at a supermarket so I can see and tell you that there alcoholics that come to me to purchase liquor everyday at the same times and they're hardcore alcoholics and it's like a way of life to these people. They come to me to ring it up every time possibly because they think I won't judge them as harshly as the other cashiers, I'm known to be something of a Papa Genu. 

My point; when you have a society, an entire culture wasted by alcohol and recreational drugs like marijuana and cocaine, you have a recipe for mental health disaster. We have not reaped the benefits of the so-called acid generation. In fact, they're a big part of the problem since the 1960s. I'm not saying the conservatives were right, but I'm saying there's been a big problem with the entire liberal agenda, the entire scene, it's all wrong-headed and stupid, and has contributed to moral hazard. 

After all, I am a moral conservative. But one that isn't closeminded to change or adaptation to change. I think change is a big part of the culture, history, society, and government of the United States. I think one of the biggest problems in America today is that we aren't open enough to change. How can you explain the fact that its election 2024 Biden versus Trump yet again. These guys have one foot in the grave and we're giving them a chance to run for president yet again? What does that tell you about us, as a society, as a people, as a culture? 

We live in a society where the culture goes anyway the wind blows. A pop culture, where the average student is weaned to become a consumer of almost any type of goods from any country. When you walk down the street or go to businesses there's more often than not, people making a spectacle of themselves for some reason or other. I see it almost every night at work. These are like happenings, but not the good type of happenings like a concert in the park on an afternoon.

The culture has become debased. We have young people tuned in on video games, tiktok, porn, TV, movies, social media, alcohol, drugs, but not really making the money needed to live a better life or the life they want. They don't contribute to the society in any meaningful way expect putting their hard earned money back into the economy, allowing the invisible hand to do what it will. We have so much of everything that it's literally hurting us to the point where people can not and will not think for themselves. 

Every time you get in an argument with your parents, your managers, your friends, your so-called acquaintances, think about why they were angry and think about the fact that they're not taking care of business. Why should you explain yourself to someone who's completely tuned out and isn't taking care of business? So you see there is a sort of hypocrisy there. 

But wait, there's more. There's still hope yet for you. Through change. Change is the total mass retain. By change you will come to who you are, see things for what they are, and hopefully come to some understanding to develop strategies into which you can transform your world, your environment into whatever you want it to be, leading through your own personal example, but also by going in there and breaking things. The right kind of outside character already knows this, the outsider. But not all of us are outsiders, some of us are children of the wasted acid generation, who didn't have a clue and still don't, especially now that they're getting older. 

The last part here is the most important. You have to learn to think for yourself. Question everything, question even what I have written here, question yourself, question your own thoughts and ideas, but keep a reality principal, make sure you understand and know what is real and what is not, learn to become smarter so you can more easily define and compare good and evil. I know this is basic but you would be surprised how many people don't know this because they think doctors, lawyers, parents, wives, girlfriends, or therapists will help them and somehow they'll 'figure it all out.' 

Of course, today, anyone with an iq above 28 is a threat to society and is automatically labeled an outsider, even if he knows it or not. Why? Drugs and alcoholism has taken over critical thinking in the younger classes and disillusionment and powerlessness have overtaken the older generations to the point where most of them are tuned out to the pop culture world and live in a small capsule. 

Is this the end of civilization part III? 

April Fools

Good evening,

It's good to see you. I'd like to jot down some notes. 

First, once the holiday months passed, work became a lot slower. Typically in retail grocery this happens every year. Business picks up again in spring and summer. The holiday period was so intense this year that I'm glad to see less hours across the board. That doesn't sit well with the other employees though, who are counting on 40+ hours every week to make ends meet. But once April comes around the bend everybody will be working a lot more again and making more money. 

Second, the most exciting thing that has happened is the developments around A.I. I've been especially into A.I. art. I started doing A.I. art the first month the art generators came out and I've really taken to it. I've tried all the best ones but the one I've taken to the most is Stable Diffusion 2.1 version, using BlueWillow on Discord and Magespace. I would like to use more Midjourney and Dall E2 but those cost $10/month. 

With Stable Diffusion I can practice a lot of prompts to keep tweaking my art styles without paying money. I don't know if there's a path along the road where I can change my knowledge into money, but for now it's been a big thing for me because it's something I can do solo and its using new, cutting-edge technology. 

One of the best things ever about doing A.I. art is that I learned that I have a good eye, I can tell good art when I see it. On top of that, the prompts work by text, so depending on how much you know, or potentially could know, you can create almost anything, endlessly.

Check out some of my A.I. artwork on Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/jazzerrocker779/.

Third, I've kept up with a lot of reading. Tonight I did a lot of reading reading the news. The big story is that Trump has finally been indicted. 

I've read seven books so far this year: Will and Ariel Durant's Rosseau and Revolution [history], Will and Ariel Durant's The Age of Voltaire [history], Anna LindenWaller's A Memory Called Empire [scifi], Anna LindenWaller's A Desolation Called Peace [scifi], Babel by R.F. Kuang [steampunk], Rite of Passage by Alexi Panshin [scifi], and Tales From A Thousand and One Nights by N.J. Dawood [canon]. 

I've also still been practicing reading in Spanish and occasionally Italian and French when I have the time. One of my goals for the year is to read the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I bought a copy at a library book sale for a dollar and it's a handsome hardcover edition.

Life seems to have slowed down for me in many respects. Most of my friends have moved far away, driven by what they think will be more happiness if they go somewhere else. Others we've simply broken up and went our separate ways because of personal problems between us or their lives just simply fell apart. 

Even though some of my friends were extremely toxic when we spent too much time together I still feel for them and hope they go on to greener pastures. But I only know too well that just by moving from one situation to another, it does not simply make all the bad stuff go away. In fact, through my own experience I've learned that it's mostly worse when you think you can run from your problems and think things will be better. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, as they say. 

That being said, I wish them all the best. But the reality of the matter is that life is tough, for all of us, and we can't run from our problems, and magically everything will be better. This isn't anime or video games or Hulu TV. 

I've tried to make the most out of my new lack of a social life by reading more, getting more rest, continuing to play and practice instruments, working on ai art, and music, using chatbots for ai art prompts, writing more, being more creative. As time goes on, I realize more and more that I have to be a creative and keep creating. 

image ai generated 

Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, 

I haven't written a general what's up blog in a while, so here we go. I'll describe in detail what life has been like on the job, more personal lifestyle details and fun, and the harrowing social current events of our time. 

First, work is getting a lot better. We're getting better pay with the better contract [there was a fight between the union and the company over wages], we seem to have the personnel to run the shifts, and generally, the employees seem to be happier and to be doing better, bit of a caveat there, but for the most part retail grocery is calm this spring season. Not to mention sales are up even though prices have skyrocketed due to inflation. There's actually a noticeable difference in the amount of groceries we're ringing up daily as there's a lot less visibly and physically. People just don't have as much cash right now. Also, only one recorded covid case this month. The guy was horribly sick. He came in one day to tell the bosses he was taking some time off, and his face looked like death. Scary. The threat of covid within the job is still lurking at the corner. 

Second, more personally, I've just been having a blast, living life to the fullest, and loving every minute of it. This goes more to the heart, the capacity of happiness that lies within yourself is more important than actually being happy all the time or often. Remember, it's not happiness that's the main focus, it's your capacity for happiness, meaning, what can you do daily that can ensure that you can increase and/or regulate your capacity for happiness daily? 

For everyone this question is mostly existential. For me I do it by reading books and playing the guitar. For others it might be art, or wrestling, cooking, or football, or cars. You have to really learn to love your life and what you do on a daily basis. The problem is that, especially right now, at this current juncture and state of worldly affairs, its seems that spring can really hang you up the most. Meaning, almost everything out there in the real world [not on a computer or phone screen, not this], has the potential to really bring you down and bum you out. The only real answer to this lies within the last paragraph-the capacity for happiness. 

Lastly, right now things in America are horrible. The recent school shooting has left all of us virtually bruised, beaten, and battered both mentally and physically. We don't need to see the pictures or the livestream to feel the harrowing effects of school children being gunned down by a crazed eighteen year old, the impact of the deaths has hit the virtual reality systems just as much as it has hurt us in the real world. Which brings up the question, when will American politicians stand up to the gun lobby, the NRA? Can we really consider ourselves the good guys of the world, the best country to live in, the most sophisticated, the most everything, if we can't even protect our schoolchildren from being gunned down during class? There's a glaring dilemma here that goes beyond myself, you, the NRA, and the politicians themselves. This goes to the heart of what makes a society of human beings civilized, sophisticated, and safe from harm. Meaning if we can't get this done, maybe we don't deserve to be in charge of what happens to Ukraine or anywhere else in the world. Take care of your home and hearth before going out to police the world. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd5VVELfWC8&ab_channel=whoisthisguythen

And for those pointy-headed intellectuals, catch up to what I've been reading on my Goodreads account, https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/56122996-orlando-furioso

In addition, for those interested on reading about what it was like to work retail grocery at the beginning of the pandemic, look no further, check out my covid plague journal here, http://ofigueroamusic.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html, a compilation of posts about covid, dealing with covid within retail grocery, and within America itself as a young person. 

Spring Break 2022!

Hello, good readers of the ofigueroamusicblog. It's been a pretty long time since I've updated, so here I am, ready to share more information on what it's like working at the job still under covid conditions and more. 

First, the working conditions have improved since I've last posted. There was going to be a possible strike but the company ended up giving in to most but not all of the demands from the union. We've also since added more staff to the front end. And inspiringly, I got promoted to cashier position after many years of toiling in the vineyards. 

However, this doesn't mean that the working conditions are optimal. We're still working under covid conditions, there are still a few covid cases every now and then, and most of the customers aren't wearing masks while they get extremely close to our bodies and faces. Covid has been extremely brutal for workers in the retail industry. In addition, now that the weather has become a lot hotter, the masks have become really hot again, but again, I can't take it off, unless I want to risk the wrath of possible covid exposures. 

I've mostly been chilling by myself and occasionally with a few friends. It's funny because, two years later, still under covid, I find myself only really going out to dinners with family and friends. It's my favorite social occasion. I've since left a lot of my many much more casual friends/acquaintances, to focus more on doing my own thing, which involves a lot of reading, guitar, and studying languages, mostly Spanish. 

I started the morning by reading Machiavelli's Mandrake, a comedy play about a young man who tricks an old scholar fool into letting him fuck his beautiful young wife. Talk about uncomfortable reading. In a way you could say c'est la vie but if it was your wife or your girlfriend what would you do? What if you never find out like our old scholar dude? It's certainly a funny story. Maybe the ends do justify the means, because in the end the wife wants to do it again with the young man, and even befriends him and gives him a room at her and her husband's estate. Talk about the ends justifying the means. 

I also found time to read Seneca's Agamemnon tragedy and start reading The Dawn of Everything, A New History of Humanity, a deep thinker for ya, anthropology and sociology.

Lastly, I even found time to jam with my friend Jason who plays the alto saxophone. You can find our most recent live recording here.

Although work has been the norm throughout and around all this activity, I'll be able to rest easy knowing that I'll be getting the better contract raises, and although I'll get less hours as a result of getting paid more, in that process I'll actually get the same and/or more money for less hours of work. Not too shabby! I found 100 rupees! 

Although I haven't gone anywhere in a few years and things have stayed relatively the same I feel like I'm on a grand spring break adventure for the moment. 

If you're looking for a reading adventure look no further than the beginning of my covid plague journal where I write about the beginning of the pandemic and the working conditions at the gig. There are many posts in the plague journal now after these two covid years. Read all about it here.

Let there be peace and love in the universe as well as within your life. 

Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most

It's been a while since I wrote something like this. Psychology, self-help, vlog-style, that kind of thing. Spring is here in 2019, life is moving by fast. In California, there's only really spring and summer. The weather doesn't change much except in summer when it gets super hot. This makes for a continuous summer year round. This is why people like living here. However, it makes time move by uber fast. The last six years were a blur. So it goes.  

I've been focusing on playing a lot of guitar, shedding [jazz musician slang for improving my chops], working, and playing with my friend Jason, an excellent alto saxophonist. I've also been reading a lot of books. And by a lot, I mean a lot. Sometimes I can finish a book in two or three days if I marathon the book. Other times I take it slow. I've even been working out too, trying to shed some pounds. Somebody could come along and say, "Why are you wasting time reading books and playing music? If you go to college you could end up making more money in the future." 

That's always fair. The one thing that they don't realize is that everything you do could and will help you at some point. You just don't know when or how. This is why you have to believe. Believe in your own willpower, karma, God, yourself, whatever. When you stop believing in yourself you start to underestimate yourself. All those books and music have helped me to develop an interior life away from my family, friends, and work associates. I have my own world to seek refuge in. Video games do this as well but not nearly as well because video games are tainted by online experiences with people who may and will abuse the multiplayer experience [if said game is multiplayer]. 

Where does that leave me? Well, there are good days and there are bad days. Hopefully, there are more good days than bad days. I think every millennial is in crisis in a way right now, rich or not. The problem is that wages are stagnant, rent is increasing, and companies just don't need as many people as before. People just aren't needed as much these days. More and more things are becoming automated. It's cheaper for companies to have a small workforce with a high turnover. 

I've been in the retail trade for ten years now. I started working at Sentry's food store in Wisconsin back when I was eighteen and I've been working ever since in mostly grocery stores. There's not much of a future in the grocery business but it's still the best job I've ever had and I'm still making enough to get by most of the time. Where do I go from here?

For millennials in general I think there's a much bigger issue than my own personal one. The legislative and executive branches of government are at war with each other. There's no leadership, on either side. Nancy Pelosi and Biden represent the old school Democrat but the fresh younger Democrats say its time for a change that doesn't include them. The Republicans are complete idiots, perhaps even evil. They'll say anything as long as they stay in power. There's no winning really. And will there ever be? Starless and Bible Black, as that King Crimson record was called.

Not only that but a lot of millennials don't even seem to care. They prefer to drift off into a life of entertainment and leisure. Can you blame them? Their entire world is crashing and burning around them, and all they care to talk about is End Game and Game of Thrones. It's no wonder America is in decline. No future indeed as Johnny Rotten sang in the Sex Pistols. 

I could go back to college, rack up 40k of debt and get a better job and career in 4 years. But will that really make me happy? I'd rather keep playing the guitar, reading books, running, and see where life takes me. It's risky not going to college but I'm not really the college type. I'm a hipster jazz and rock guitarist. Guitar players don't need to go to college. Just ask Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix. 

Spring can really hang you up the most. It's such a beautiful seasonal change. But when things aren't going that great, and don't appear to be improving anytime soon, things get pretty bleak. Like a black metal record. Except I actually enjoy that. Times like these call for fortitude. You gotta believe in whatever it is that you believe in and push through, into the beyond, rather than into the void. Don't underestimate yourself. Everything you do has an aftereffect, aftershocks of karma, zen, and transcendence. 

I was feeling kind of blue before I wrote this but then I realized that writing really helps me to overcome my negative thoughts and emotions. This is why I'm such an active writer, writing nonstop for seven years now. I've been working on a memoir about my life which is currently 75 pages long. I look forward to continuing to work on it and finishing it sometime in the immediate future. If you think you had a bad day, a bad year, a bad decade, don't worry, you're not alone. We're all in this together, in this one universe. 

[title inspired by saxophonist Melissa Aldana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsD0H9MCQ1U]

Jazz duo recordings [4/1]

Back again with more jazz duo recordings. I have two recordings that turned out sounding good. One thing to note is that on both of these cuts, my demenor was a somber one. The day before didn't go so well for me, and it shows in my playing. I think the attitude and/or spirit of the jazz musician isn't discussed as much as the music. It plays a big role.

As a result we ended up sounding not unlike something off the ECM, European jazz label. You hear these lush guitar arpeggios, and Jason [alto sax] is improvising over the top of it. I didn't really get into my typical straight ahead jazz guitar comping style. Instead I was rather subdued, and played back. 

Enjoy the tracks. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-294063763/going-home 
https://soundcloud.com/user-294063763/tune-up 

Spring 2019 Goals

Hello ladies and gents. Here I'd like to go on a short motivational speel about goals. Personal mostly but this can apply to anyone relatively speaking. Spring 2019 is here. Life is moving by quickly. Have you been working on all your New Years resolutions? Are you getting everything you want to be done? 

First, my biggest New Years Resolution [only one really] was to work out more. In the beginning of the year I was working out super hard. In fact, during the first week I ran 2 miles everyday for five days. That was way too extreme. Hurt my legs. But I felt great in my mind. I had a strong mental mindset about the whole thing. Then, the California winter was super harsh, so I didn't run because of the rain and cold. Now, spring is here so I have no excuse. I'm not going to go hardcore. In fact, I'll probably run one day, then rest the next. End up running 3 days, resting for 4 days. My weight is still the same, which is not good, as I'm above 200 pounds. I have a lot more work to do. 

Second, I need to learn how to eat less. Contrary to what Americans believe, it isn't the fact that I don't exercise much that I'm overweight. Its the fact that every day I'm eating too much, overfeeding my body, too many calories. If I can learn to eat less [and drink less soda, drink more water], I can lose weight the natural way, by just allowing the weight to fly off, by letting my body be hungry more. This is more difficult than working out for me because my friends all love to eat out all the time and they sure as hell don't eat healthily. In fact, they're all getting overweight too. I was doing this for a while and I managed to lose twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I went back to bad eating habits and gained the weight back. This is the most difficult task for me. My number one goal.

Third, finish my novella and show it around to some publishers. I've been working on a novella [long short story] and my goal once I've finished it is to show it around to some publishers and try to get it published. If I can't get it published its no big deal. In fact, I think just learning how to write better in the process is worth it just by itself. My goal is 100 pages. I currently have 28 pages. So I've got a lot more writing and editing to do before I even really discuss it with anyone.

Fourth, release an album for sale on Bandcamp. I've been working with an alto saxophonist named Jason Thomas. He says he can get us free studio time. Our end goal is to record at the studio and release the best tracks as an album on Bandcamp, a music website people use to sell their tunes. I also want to perform live with him more whether it just be open mics or real gigs. Hopefully real gigs. I also want to find a bass player so we can have a legit jazz trio. The guitar, alto saxophone duo is cool but we really need that bass for the low end, as well as having the complete complementary instrumentation. 

Fifth, read more books. Reading is my spirit animal at this point. Most of all my blog posts are about novels. I love reading with a  passion. Maybe even as much as music. Or more? Not sure. I want to finish reading The Illiad, read the Aeneid,  the Odysee, finish the Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, more Hemingway novels, more philosophy, in particular, finish reading Heidegger's Time and Being. Hopefully, I get to all those. Its a lot but I've got the discipline and reading habit to actually do it. I'm a reading machine.

Sixth, think about finding another job if my family doesn't end up moving. The family plan is to move to Chicago but I'm not sure when if ever that is going to happen. I love California and I'd love to stay here but its too expensive to live here on my own. If we end up staying in California say, another year, then my plan will be to find another job. Retail can only take you so far in life. They're not giving me that many hours anymore. Sometimes its good to know when to pull the plug. 

Life is full of distractions. In a way its good that my friends are busy working most of the time. I've found that seeing my friends only once or twice a week is a lot better for our friendship. Time makes the heart fonder, as they say. Not only that, but I enjoy more free time by myself, where I'm able to work on all my goals. A lot of my friends have moved away and others have drifted apart. Sometimes you have to realize that some people will only be in your life for a short while. Such is life. In the meantime, I'm going to keep pushing myself, and fight the good fight, so to speak.