September Sweater Weather

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, hello world. How are you? 

It's good to be writing on a good day off work today on a Saturday. Here, I'll jot down some notes on what I've been up to, plans, and things I'm looking forward to. 

First off, work has been good, steady, and doable. It's been about a year in now at this new job and its going well. I'm been reading a lot in between my shifts, jamming guitar with a heavy metal drummer, going for walks, eating well, and playing video games. I've got a lot to be thankful for, and I thank God for the life I'm living. 

The last book I read was a long slowburn of a read, Felix Gilbert's From 1890 to the Present, A European History, pretty amazing that a history book could span from 1890 to the present, but wow, that book really gives you a long overhaul and view of Europe from the years right before the First and Second World Wars, and the information is invaluable especially as an American for me, because, most of the information in that book is not taught in American grade school or high school, and only partially covered in college history courses, but not all, as not all college courses even will cover Europe, particularly Europe in all this much dense overdetailed information. A major criticism of the book online was that readers felt that Felix Gilbert didn't discredit and shame the Nazi's enough, and that he didn't explain with more inherent detail, why the German people were so willing to just commit Nazi atrocities and crimes against Jews, simply because they were told to do it, and they were readily and willing to do it, but it isn't really explained why with more full details. Well, why, then? Only the shadow knows. 

Moving on, now I'm reading a book about the history of France, a book entitled Revolutionary France 1770-1880, and this book is a lot more drier and more dense and facts based, despite being about a very revolutionary era of French government. Also, I'm reading Bram Stoker's 1897 modern novel Dracula, inspired by this current weather change and spooky Witching Season that we're currently thriving in, especially with this cold weather change. The change in temperature from 100 degree overheating at work to this 84-86 degree days, it's quite amazing. 

In addition, I've still been looking around at other jobs and seeing what's out there in my area, and it's not looking good. If you're not at a job currently it is very difficult to get in with a job anywhere. I had a job offer recently to a job closer to where I'm at, but circumstances being what they are, I'm not inclined to leave what I'm doing and try to start something new, given that there is a lot of uncertainty right now in the job market and the economy. I've been doing well, but I'm on a strong budget and I'm following my budget religiously, so its hard to want to try to dip out of a job that is going well, and try to do something different, even if it may be better in the long run. I'm saying, that jobwise, things are full of so much uncertainty, that even looking into working somewhere else might not be a good idea unless there is some massive benefit to working there. Like for example, in my case, this job offer I got is closer to my place, which is a massive benefit, but, even that being the case, I still have to stop and think about it for a long time, because everything is so much up in the air nowadays. 

Lastly, I can't end the rant without mentioning AI. LA and NY public schools decided to ban AI in the classrooms. This is good. Also recently, social media companies agreed to pay a massive fine and admitted that they have been treating kids wrong with allowing them too much social media use. These are good sociological things happening in the realverse. I do like AI and I do think more and more AI will take over and more and more we'll just be controlling the information it provides and goes with, like we'll be the AI's boss, and use the AI, but all important real decisions will be done by real people, and I notice that's the way its been going, even myself personally, using AI in the workplace. 

I use a lot of AI personally at work to look up products/donations and check what they're worth. I almost never go with what the AI prices the items, rather I think about it, check all the parameters, quality, condition, item type, etc, and then I make the ultimate decision over how much the item gets priced. But you can kind of see how even using it at this low level retail level, it gives you a lot of leverage over the amount of productivity in the work you do while using the AI. Obviously, I can do my job without using AI, all I'm doing is pricing donated items and reselling it, but using the AI allows me to have more control in my productivity, if I can figure out what an item's worth faster without thinking as much or as hard personally, then I have a tool which allows me to work a lot faster than I was able to before, last year, since before I started using AI at work. 

That's a lot to unpack there. But yeah, so it basically comes down to the fact that the low level retail personnel, the low level office worker, these are the basic employees running a business, working at a business, and they're using AI in a way that benefits their job workflow, and I do think this is the future of work using technology in America. In a way its an exciting time to live, breathe, and do work in America. On the other hand, you do tend to see a dehumanization of the worker in the workplace. If AI gets better at a much faster more exponential rate that it has been going in, this could spell disaster for more detailed tech work employees, workers, and bosses, because it could mean that lesser skilled and less tech skilled workers could outpace them, develop more, and become better much more skilled workers, armed only with AI, the willingness to learn new more advanced technology, and a curious mind. 

Note: Keep in mind that without the temperature changing to like 86 degrees here, I wouldn't even want to talk about AI, using it in the workplace, and the future of it in the workplace via newer smarter employees. If the temperatures kept hitting 100 degrees I would've been stuck kept to talking about barely surviving working with poor AC, and incoming blackouts, like what they had in Gary Indiana, which went underreported in most areas. Remember, this is still post-covid, and that means incoming cold, flu, and post-covid amongst young people. Get ready for Halloween.

7/10 On AI, AI Art, and the Culture

Good evening folks. I just wanted to jot down some thoughts I've been thinking about since the last post. 

    First, I think more and more people are becoming aware to the fact that AI isn't really as great as its been doing on the stock market. Sure, the American economy is betting a lot on AI and the fact that AI is going to save money and automate things so that workers will be able to do work that is more important, creative, and more meaningful. That's what the techno bro AI companies want you to think. But the reality is that the best thing we've done with AI is create chatbots that aren't really thinking or sentient, rather they spew out things they've been trained on, and they've mostly been trained on the internet. 

    Me personally, I've found a lot of fun and tinkered a lot with AI. In fact, I use AI at my job everyday to look up the prices or products and items that aren't always easily figured out by just regular google searches. The use of AI in a retail environment is great, but again, it's still in a limited position. 

    For years, I worked as a Self-Checkout Cashier Clerk, mostly using the crappy automated AI self-checkout machines, but the thing is, that those machines can only do so much, you have to actually interact with the customers yourself to really know what's going on. These things are limited and on top of that a lot of times late at nights when the store was busy, these self-checkout machines would freeze, automatically shutdown and not work, and it would take forever for them to get back running again. 

    Basically, these AIs aren't coming for your job, not quite yet. You really can't trust any type of AI with basically, anything important, serious, or critical. And yeah folks, that means you can't trust AI with most things that actually matter. I've personally found a lot of fun and utility in using AI to create images. I've been doing it for like two years and its been a blast but of course there's always the dilemma of 'you're doing AI art thats not real art, that's not art,' versus the people who don't know anything about art, and the artists in between who are smart enough to have already been utilizing AI art generators over the past 2-3 years. 

    Secondly, even if you can create stunning great AI art, there's always the issue, how can you get paid being an AI artist or utilizing AI in your handmade art? Well therein lies the rub. You can create AI art all day and be amazing at it but you will still have to work hard and put in the work in order to get paid and actually have a career making a money off your AI art. 

    Even regular artists have to put in a lot of hard labor in order to actually make a living off their art. So just because you can create good AI art doesn't mean you can get paid or make a career out of doing it. See what I'm saying? Even as amazing as AI art generators are, it's difficult to make a career out of using and making AI art, basically they're not going to actually replace real handmade, hand drawn, hand painted, hand sculpted artists. Not by a longshot. 

    Now, that doesn't mean that real artists should shun the AI art generators and throw a tantrum, rather they should use it to enhance their creative abilities and artistic potential. Those that don't learn the new softwares, AI art generators, and products won't be quite as successful as those who do. For example, a lot of Americans love Japanese cartoons anime and whatnot. A lot of Japanese art studios are using AI in anime and have already been doing so for years. 

    I wanted to rant a bit on AI because I keep seeing that people are thinking AI is really amazing and great, and yeah it is, but only up to a very limited point. For example, AI could write something like what this post has written in it, but it can't do it with my personal style, timbre, or swagger. It will always pale in comparison to the real human behind the AI, the ghost in the machine will never be as smart, creative, or innovative as the human in front of the screen. 

    Time after time, I keep seeing people using AI in a way that makes them look like they've never done any thinking for themselves, or if they do, they just haven't figured out the right way to calm down, clear their thoughts, and put themselves in order to actually organize what they want to accomplish, so using AI becomes like their crutch. That's not a surprise and I'm seeing that more and more with customers in the retail environment checking prices with AI, employees checking prices with AI, and my various friends and associates around me who use it for their various reasons. That being said, I'll post my various most recent AI art pictures below this post. 

    Third, the Culture we live within has changed a lot since the 2008 Financial Meltdown during the Obama Presidency, which, oddly enough, seemed like a very normal time period and it didn't really seem that crazy even though we had gone through September 11 and the Iraq War and whatnot. In comparison, the post-covid Trump years seem much worse and the culture has become debased, extremely right-wing, nationalistic, and the main problem imo, very dumbed down and stupid to the point where people don't even do basic things like read and write anymore. 

    That being said, I am the Culture too and I'm here to say to young people its okay to be smart, you don't have to pretend to be dumbed down around other people, you should read books, write, educate yourself to the best of your abilities, and who knows, maybe you're goodwill and influence will spread to others around you and they will become smarter just by having interacted with you even briefly. One can only hope.

    I fear that we're in such a dumbed down society that because people are very uneducated and unschooled and have less morals and standards, these qualities in a nation, in a state, in a city even, even in a job or workplace, this means that things are much more disorganized and it makes it easier for bad actors to wreck havoc in various forms. 

    One of the scariest things that has happened to me recently is that something bad or off happened [not particularly to me but near or around me] and pretty much everyone including those in charge and those who were subalterns were all basically so dumb that they didn't do the right things and things went south. I think for me the fact that I was surrounded by people who just wouldn't think it through for whatever reasons, people who just couldn't think at all very well, that for me, was absolutely terrifying.

    Lastly, I'll end it like this. I'm not exactly a stable genius like Trump says he is, [he's a dumbass lol] but I've gone through a lot of work to educate myself without even going to school or anything, and when I interact with other young people 20s, 30s, even my own age, there is a general vast difference in the amount of knowledge between those people and say people who are in their 40s-80s. 

    One of the things you'll find is that even older people could be a bit uneducated and set in their ways but overall, they have more common sense and smarts that those of us in our 20s, 30s. Respect your elders and learn from them, without them you would never really be able to become wise which is above being learned. 

    I'll end it like this, if you aren't very well studied, don't read or educate yourself in anyway whatsoever, you just can't really become successful in life or in your goals. How do I know this? I've learned this the hard way through the school of hard knocks. I struggled through my 20s and 30s and I didn't go to school, I never got a degree, I'm just a 40 year old black guy with a high school diploma, an imagination, and curiosity. Nowadays, most people are kind of coasting, trying to provide for their wives, their kids, its hard to actually free your mind and educate yourself. 

    If you ask me, this is the main reason why Trump came to power and the country is in decline. If you keep the Culture happy with futbol [special shoutout to the World Cup], football, basketball, videogames, porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, its no wonder that they would never really be able to think for themselves. Remember, knowledges makes a man unfit to be a slave. Watch this space.

March Madness

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. How's it been? I've been silent on the writing since the new year. I feel the need to write as an outlet because I believe reading and writing is the greatest tool for communication as a medium. Sure, I talk to friends and family, but you just don't get to really say everything you want to say with friends and family. That's why I've had this blog for so many years. The blog is a good outlet not only for creativity but also to say everything I want to say. I haven't really been too busy or anything, but I do think I had some slight writer's block that lasted all of February. But I've been good. I've been reading, working, and tonight I was playing guitar and electronic keyboard, just practicing, and improvising. 

I've been on a roll since the new year 2026 reading a lot of books. So far already since January I've read 10 books: The Mammoth Hunters [by Jean M. Auel], Van Gogh The Passionate Eye [Pascal Bonafoux], Plato's Symposium, Caesar's War on Gaul, Lolita by Nabokov, Words of Wisdom, The Nibelungenlied,  Cousin Bette by Balzac, The New Grove Mozart, and Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I'm also currently reading The Portable Medieval Reader and A History of China. My reading has stayed mostly in the realms of fiction, non-fiction, western canon but I will sometimes still read science fiction, more modern day science fiction as well as the golden age sci fi stuff. 

All the reading has been keeping me sharp and keeping me going. The state of our country isn't good and now all of a sudden we're on day 5 in a war against Iran with our partner Israel. What does reading all these great books of the western canon tell you about the political nature of the times we're currently living in? As Hegel would put it, "We learn from history that we don't learn from history." As bad as Trump and the MAGA Republican tinfoil hat crowd are, we have seen this before and we have been here before. 

Even this war against Iran. We're shooting at them with all these airstrikes and we're hoping for a regime change with no boots on the ground as of yet, which is unheard of and has never happened before. Well, this scene looks a lot like Bush's declaration of war in Afghanistan, but at least Bush got approval from Congress to go to war. With Trump, he declared it and we were instantly in war. It's an interesting time to be alive in the United States, being someone of my age, of my education, of my economic and social class. 

You see, you could argue that Americans like me, American citizens with good education, good family structure, they're doing okay economically, they're eating well, they're exercising, they're getting entertained, they have friends and family, they read books, etc, well you might say that Trump, what Trump does, and the new war against Iran, maybe it might not affect them as much as you think. 

The reality is that the Trump regime has had a profound influence on practically every facet of American culture, politics, entertainment, and governance. I believe, personally, that ever since President Trump was elected, since even the first time, American culture has largely degenerated and gotten worse and worse. I could even see it among the largely minority employees and management at the retail grocery job I worked at for years. You could see that because they loved Trump and praised him, they wanted to become like Trump, which included becoming more hateful and full of cruelty towards others around them. For them Trump wasn't just a symbol of American conservatism, he was the example to show them that it was okay to be a racist, to be hateful, to be cruel, and show it anywhere and anytime they wanted. Yeah, it was that bad there folks. That was just a market. Imagine how people who love Trump would act in a mob [January 6], or in Congress as leaders in the White House. Houston, we have a problem.

Which brings us to the end of February 2026, a new war with Iran. This war is like the perfect foil for Trump because he was already in trouble for the killings of two US Citizens with his gestapo-esque police force ICE [Rene Good, and Alex Pretti who were called terrorists by Kristi Nome leader of Homeland Security] and in addition Trump was in trouble for his too close ties to child trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. Also, there's the fact that the economy under Trump has slowed down a lot, there's a lot less jobs, food and gas prices are very high, and companies are putting more and more money and effort into AI [stupid idea] when in reality, Americans are struggling to pay rent, eat well, and find a job that gives them enough cash to live in a house or apartment. Trump's problem as President as always, has been affordability, as Democrats would say. Trump inherited a robust economy from Biden, and now when you go to Fatburger you're paying $24 for a burger, fries, and a soda. 

It almost seems at times like what Trump does is seemingly random. Which makes you wonder what is really going on in this world, what systems are controlling what's going on behind the scenes. For example, you notice how not once has Trump pushed back against Putin despite Putin's war crimes against Ukraine. So it makes you wonder, what does Putin have on Trump? Is Trump really a pedophile rapist like the newly reported story said? If its true, then we have to seriously discuss and decide what kind of a country we are and what kind of a country we should be. Because if we allow a guy who's done that to be our President and get us into a war then we have fundamentally failed as a democratic experiment. 

It helps to be somewhat of a cynic right now. In a way, to stay informed, you pretty much have to read the news every 24-48 hours or watch the news on TV daily, just to stay up to date on basic information, but in reality, you still have to question everything, not only Trump and his administration and their actions, but also the news and media itself, as well as yourself. Henry David Thoreau has this great quote where he says all the news stories are all things that have happened in other super old news stories from other times and years. That was a stunning revelation because in some sense, yes, it's very true. 

But why is this, why is that quote true? I think a small part of being a cynic is the feeling and knowing that something is amiss, something is not right, even though you don't know what it is, something like a conspiracy, who's to say that there isn't something like that going on right now and/or has been going on since the foundation of this state. Like I said, you have to question everything, even yourself and your own beliefs, even if you have a low education level, play videogames, and are more concerned about being 'turnt at da club.' There's something undeniable about the current times we're living in that has an eerie similarity to the past, something we don't understand, or perhaps will never be granted the right to understand. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!

Holidays, End of 2025

Good evening, ladies and gents. I haven't written in a long time so I decided to take some time tonight to jot down some of my thoughts, ideas, activities on everything up to this moment in time-let's say the Holidays and the End of 2025. 

First, I'm glad 2025 is coming to a close. It's been rough for me, and more importantly, for America, and the world, as President Trump is pretty much taking an axe to The Constitution, the Government, and Our Way of Life [in terms of affordability and health insurance/jobs]. I had a bad year, came out of a twelve-year job unemployed for some months, and luckily I was able to land something in the same year because for a while I wasn't sure where I was going to get a job, cash, or even a good hot meal that wasn't ramen with hot dogs. 

And here's the thing, there are many more Americans that were dealt much worse than what I went through. Yeah, I lost my job and had no income for a while, but there are others with families who lost their homes, their jobs, their cars, had to live in shelters or their cars [or warehouses], and are still unable to get into a job. Also, consider the number of people who lost their homes in the Palisades Fire [here in CA]. So yeah, it hasn't been a cakewalk for pretty much every American citizen this year. I know for me personally, this has been the hardest year of my existence out here in California. 

I know for myself personally, I've had to go into hibernation mode and not really go out to too many places or spend too much cash. I only really go to restaurants when I'm spending cash. I haven't been out to the bar or a concert for a year straight. It's a bit like covid 2.0. My new job is okay but they only have limited hours but the volume of work is vast and unwieldy for anyone working there. The work itself isn't hard but the volume is difficult to deal with. This job has drastically changed from the summer up to now, vast changes that have made the work much harder, but I've been hammering through with it, because I know that there aren't really too many other jobs available at this time, and maybe not for months, if not years, especially with this current Administration.

As a result, going into 2026, it doesn't exactly feel great, for me personally, and for all of us Americans. I spent the entire year trying to catch up in terms of my finances and now I'm just barely catching up. And like I said, I think its worse for other Americans with more assets who have families, cars, houses, rent, upkeep, etc. The holidays didn't feel festive this year. My family didn't do gifts at all this year but that's not why it wasn't festive. It wasn't festive because everything has become  much more difficult and we notice it much more often nowadays, everything is out of control in terms of affordability, and things like health insurance might be impossible to get without getting it at a good company job. Like I said, its good to say goodbye to 2025, it was a bad year for our country, for us as Americans, and the word affordability is not a hoax. 

Second, I've been trying to wholly inrich my personal life with lots of literature because otherwise, what's a boy to do? I've been reading a lot and listening to a lot of music-mostly jazz livestreams from a nyc jazz club and a bit of classical like Mozart arias and Bach. I tend to think that without the reading and music my life wouldn't be quite so fun and engrossing. I read 49 books this year, the last book being Charles Dickens, a title called Hard Times, about people living in a lumber mill town. It's dark and gritty but doesn't quite have the strong influential characteristic Dickens voice of say A Tale of Two Cities or David Copperfield, yet it was great. This is an important part. Even when I was at my darkest points this year with little cash, I was still reading, still listening to music, still practicing music, still going to the library. I think that's what kept me resilient, even after going through one of the harder darker chapters of my life out here in California. At one point when it seemed like I wasn't going to find work, I thought about leaving California and moving back to the Midwest, where I'm originally from. But theoretically, it would be difficult to find a job there too, as its a much smaller pool with a lot less resources. You can't really win in terms of the job market right now. And what's crazy is that lots of people I know personally are struggling with work-getting fired, getting laid off, not able to get unemployment, struggling to find another job, forced to work a job that they're overqualified for just to pay rent, etc. The struggle is real right now folks. 

Third, here's a Christmas Eve story for you. I was working my new thrift shop job on Christmas Eve and there was this homeless lady yelling in the front patio area to the side of the front door of our place. A guy was riding his bike past her and she ran and threw him off the bike. He may or may not have been hurt, I didn't really see the full impact of the fall from the cashier stand. 

But he jumped on the homeless women, and beat the crap out of her with his fists pretty hard. He got in maybe 6-7 hard swings on her face, even pushing her down on top of a car while swinging at her. A man from inside my work ran outside and got between them to break up the brawl. The homeless lady sort of came to her senses after that. But Jesus Almighty, what possessed her to tackle a man off his bike? 

I don't condone the man's behavior but you have to admit, if some random lady threw you off your bike, and you were injured, you would probably want to take a few punches to her face, like he did. It was a pretty crazy incident. My co-worker called the cops but they didn't show up. The lady chilled outside for a long time and came inside the store, and just looked around for a bit, bought some clothing, and left. 

I tell this story online as a warning to people who work in stores and retail. At my place I was the only one there after a bit so there's not much I could do. Sometimes when you're dealing with these types of issues you don't want to get involved, especially if you're alone, but sometimes you're going to have to develop psychological tactics in order to deal with this sort of stuff. So when the lady came in I acknowledged her and made her feel welcome but also made her aware that I was there kind of watching. So yeah, that was my Christmas Eve...lol. 

Lastly, I think more and more, I'm beginning to realize that most of the content online in terms of social media, news media, even information from real friends on social media and irl, most information from people you know from your past, now, online, or irl [in real life], I'm beginning to notice that a lot of it is negative based doomer-maxxing sort of content/information. For example, yesterday, I was at the library reading the news and after maybe an hour of reading it, I just felt sick to my stomach, like it was just such awful information to absorb and take in, albeit it may have been important information like about how we were going to rain this week and stuff, although that was one of the less disturbing news even though it sometimes brings mudslides and floods. 

For example, just think about the people you know, knew, work with now/past, family, friends, co-workers, management, a lot of them are telling you some really bad stuff. For example, this might not be the best example, but I remember there were a few girls I was sort of infatuated with even though they didn't really have such nice or great personalities, but I just liked them, and I noticed in a lot of long conversations irl or online, they would often say some messed up stuff to me about myself, my personality, or how I'm too-this or too-that or that's why people don't like me, some kind of messed up doomer-maxxing type stuff. 

This was like a few girls I was in talking stages with. And then I thought maybe I'm the problem? Until I realized that wasn't actually the case, that in actuality everyone's different, and everyone's capable of being an asshole, even when you think they're a pretty girl and should have a nice perky personality. It took me a bit to really understand that. Even girls can be assholes too. I usually prefer to talk to girls and women. Hard lesson on that one, lol. 

Another example of this kind of bad stuff you hear from others is from your management at work. Hardly ever does the Manager or Boss tell you you're doing good, keep it up, and keep bringing the A-Game. Instead, you hear them nagging you, saying you're not doing this, you're not doing that, etc. They're telling you to do it their way and they're changing it all the time and then they're getting mad that you're not getting it, even though they keep changing everything. Another example is family. Family will always be there to tell you you aren't doing enough, you're not good enough, you should do this or you should do that, and then when you try something new they'll tell you, 'you can't be that.' 

In conclusion, I guess the reasons why I'm going into this sort doomer-maxxing type stuff topic is because I notice that this current paradigm of human history is mostly just that. As we go into 2026, you'll begin to realize that genuine people who are good, happy, and have the capacity for happiness have become fewer and fewer in number and you don't really see them in the big crowds or the club or the bar anymore. Maybe you'll only see them online in a post here and there. 

I feel like something has changed. And maybe its not, maybe its not even them, but perhaps just our society as a whole has sort of gone down the drain? You don't wanna go around blaming people even if they are unhappy saps or a-holes or lack a good personality, but after a certain while, if you're one of the good ones, then you're going to have to realize that you and them won't be compatible for long. 

This is a hard lesson for the die-hard good people out there, you know if you know. That girl you liked that called you out numerous times, yeah she's a rotten apple lol. That co-worker that you get along with but who complains to you 24/7, yeah you probably aren't good with that person in the long run. That management that ratted you out and got you fired, yeah there's a special place in hell for that guy. LOL, you get the picture. In a Matrix where everyone is doomer-maaxing/scrolling and complaining about every element of their life, be the child who has his own. 

If you don't hear back from me soon, happy new year! 

November Thoughts

Good day early morning readers. 

Here I'd like to jot down some ideas that I've been thinking about lately or within the last time of writing. First, is it just me or has American society become and/or has always been like a pay-to-play subscription? Hear me out. You have to pay for rent to live in a place if you don't own it, you have to pay for food, you have to pay to go to work if you drive there in your car or even take the bus, you have to pay to go out to bars/clubs if you want easy cheap entertainment, and if you're a homebody you will most likely spend money on streaming services, movies, and/or video game computers and/or systems. So where exactly is America, home of the Brave, right now?

I would say not in good place. Think about everyone you have ever interacted with on a personal level, how are they really doing? Would they be mad to hear that you're doing better than them? In this sort of climate, it's hard to even define what a better life would even be. For me a better life would be playing music in bars, making money off it, and not working a day job. Or perhaps becoming a day writer and somehow writing novels that somehow sell millions of copies. Or even running a small record shop in China or Japan, being the only black guy in a small area. Or, this would ironically be the easiest one, to marry a wealthy girl and still pursue all these other things with her. 

But it seems most people I know or have interacted with on a personal basis are not doing good. Neither am I really. I'm living but I'm not thriving. At this middle age of life, I should be doing a lot more and thriving. Oftentimes, we know what we should be doing but we keep getting distracted in life by various things, people, work, family, and friends that we forget the reasons why we are living and what we should be doing and we're not pursuing our true goals. It's like going to a job, it's good because it provides you money in order to pay rent and buy food but overall, a job isn't going to make you reach your goals faster, in fact, its going to be a hindrance to it. For me, working jobs has slowed down my growth and lowered my ability to be creative and think outside the box. Working, ironically, has become a hindrance to me.

It seems the more people you know now and the more people you knew in the past, the more you know about people, their lives, and their goals, and how and if they go about achieving it. Some people inspire you and you can grow with their help, but only for a little while. Other people are sinking more and more into the abyss, even girls you really like. It's hard to figure out where you stand and everyday is a struggle in order to figure out who you truly are. 

It's hard to figure out if anyone is even real or authentic anymore these days, online especially, but even people you know personally and see day to day, a lot of them are living a lie. I've had a few strange off occurrences that make me truly believe than even some of the people around you who you think are really good people are actually working towards and/or trying to hurt you, defame you, or ruin you behind your back. This is kind of dark but last year I was laid off from my job and when I called the work union about it I told them my situation and they told me that so-and-so, a female manager I worked for six years before this incident, had called them and said something to them about my case, even though she wasn't there, and there's no telling what she might have said, it could've been really negative, thus encouraging them to get rid of me. I only say that because when I asked what she said about me, they said some negative things about it. 

There's a darkside to the soft underbelly of Los Angeles. Like sometimes, people from your past, like past jobs or old friends and acquaintances will want to keep tabs on you but not for good reason. They'll ask you questions about what you're doing, what job you're doing now, and that you should be doing this and that instead, and this and that. And you're just wondering, why does this person want to know all this stuff about me? And it makes you wonder who they're reporting the information to. There's this funny black youtuber I've watched and as he says, "We are trying living in the worst times of history, people showing their horns, its like you're truly alone."

I've seen the darkside of the Los Angeles valley over my entire tenure out here, although technically I'm just visiting from the Midwest. I will probably leave when the time is right. But back to the darkside. I was a part of a small friends group where the leader of the pack, my friend, was sort of going off the rails. He lost his girlfriend, was about to lose his apartment, and pack everything up to leave to go live in a different city, kind of far away. He was doing coke and lsd and weed/beer and just in general very scatterbrained, paranoid, and crazy. I mentioned this to other friends of the group and they told him and he instantly came at me hard and said we can't be friends anymore. This is a guy I was friends with for like ten years. All the guys in the group were friends for at least ten years and when he broke the friendship with me, he must've told them to stop talking to me too, because after that none of them ever responded to my messages and calls, except for one guy in the group. Looking back on it, I think I did a good job warning the other guys that he was on a crazy binge and that they should be weary. If I was a spiritual person, I would say that he was a sort of demon, or possessed. Ironically, I was sort of glad to be rid of him, because being around someone like that isn't fun because they're always only seeing the negativity of life and making you see through their demon-infused lenses. 

I'll leave you with another weary tale. I was at work at this clothing shop gig and this guy called out to me in the storeroom that somebody had taken down the clothes off a manakin [it might've been him]. The guy manakin has like a little junk pouch, so I had to put some pants on it to cover it up. The guy took a picture of the naked manakin and he said, "I'm going to send this to corporate." I said, "Okay," calling his bluff. Then I took some pants and put it on the manakin and he took another picture of me doing that and said "look at this picture, I'll use it to blackmail you," I called his bluff again and just said, "Okay," nonchalantly. Then he proceeded to tell me about how he wanted an item off a manakin and an employee told them they couldn't have it until the manager takes it down at the end of the month. And how he had to go through hoops and make a lot of phone calls to get the clothing off the manakin. Okay, so you get where I'm going with this story. This is a possibly psychotic individual, maybe he's even under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, because usually people don't get to this level of pettiness without being altered by substances. 

Why am I writing about all this? It's mostly a cautionary tale. Not everything is a coincidence. And believe it or not, there are people who are out to get you. I'm not afraid to leave my stoop or anything but I do realize that most of the people in my inner circle that I was actively engaging with and talking to, hanging out with, and meeting with at bars/clubs were in fact bad actors. They might not have been straight up demons [demons are mostly people who don't know you personally] but they had bad intentions, and being around them so often dimmed my light. Not that I'm a saint either, but generally I have a much better more positive attitude than everybody I've ever met. It's nothing special, it's innate. 

Lastly, I guess I write this to say, yeah, we're in dark times. Remain in light. 

The Downward Spiral of the Times

Hello world. Here I'd like to write an improvisatory speel about the downward spiral of the times we're currently living in, in 2025. 

    First off, this isn't just hard times, this is weird. The amount of division within our society is so bad its almost like civil war in wherever you go, whatever you do, say, or think. That's a bit excessive but just look upon how the Trump administration has handled Charlie Kirk's death. Instead of simply saying prayers for the guy and saying he was cool for right-wingers, they've decided to make the man a martyr for their cause-the right wing agenda. Them doing so has sowed more division and discord, more than even the shooter simply shooting the guy. In fact, right now most people could care less about the shooter and why he did it and they're more focused on the fallout, including the suspension of Jimmy Kimmel for simply mentioning that the shooter maybe was MAGA. 

    Moving on, you'll find that the division doesn't simply stop at politics or the fallout of Charlie Kirk's death. You'll find that you maybe won't be able to get along with certain family members, friends, coworkers, managers, maybe even some stranger will look at you in public with the evil eye for no apparent reason. Now, I'm not saying that everyone hates your guts, but maybe if you're noticing that you're getting more dislike and hate from others around you, you need to realize that sometimes its not you, it's them, it's a symptom of the times that we're currently living in. 

    Next, maybe you've played the good guy so long that you know that there's no way anyone can really truly hate you, well, in this current climate of discord, you'll find that no matter how good of a person you are, you will receive hate from certain individuals around you and even from strangers. I would say you have to trust no one in this particular society and times. In a way you have to even be critical of yourself in certain moments and situations, not just others. You need to be extra critical of the people closest to you, and especially critical of people that know or knew you in the past, and even more critical of strangers, especially in public.  

    In addition, I'm a person consuming a lot of media. I'm on YouTube, video games, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, NyTimes, LAtimes, washington post, MSNBC, and a lot of the media people are consuming may not be good for you. In fact, a lot of media out there is downright brain rot. I don't want to be too critical of the news here as I think more young people need to watch/read the news, but I've noticed that a lot of the left wing news media has turned more to the right, which is a bit alarming. Especially since the Kirk incident. 

    Lastly, people that disagree with you, call you out and condemn you in super harsh ways for lightly expressing your opinions are probably the most dangerous to you. We all have a right to share our thoughts and express our opinions and if somebody doesn't like what you have to write/say, then there's plenty of other media for them to go to. But in today's age, you'll find that you personally won't really be able to fully express yourself anymore. Part of it is the fact that simply saying what you truly think or believe is dangerous, and the other part of it is that people that don't like it will hurt/harm you for doing so, if they are so inclined. 

    In conclusion, I would go so far as to say that most people out there [including friends/family/people that used to/know you now/meet in the future] will end up screwing you over and backstabbing you if you aren't watching closely and take a step away from them. Trust me, this happened to me with countless friends, family, managers/jobs, my old work union, and even newer current people in my life. I hate to say it but it's going to get worse. Try to find some peace. Peace is the way. 

Watch this space. 

Meet the new Boss, Same as the old Boss

Good evening, how are you? I wanted to do a bit of blogging, some improv, and just see what turns out. It's September 20th, 2025, about a week after the Charlie Kirk incident, which has captivated the media and the internet nonstop ever since. First, I'll start with my thoughts on the matter. 

Charlie Kirk wasn't my cup of tea. I put him in the same vein as Ben Shapiro, Nick Fuentes, and Candace Owens, so I see him as right-wing agitator. However, that doesn't mean that I think he should've been gunned down and although I'm kind of a hard leftist progressive [if you know anything about this blog and my life as a worker], I don't think people should be celebrating his death. In fact, I think the fact that people are celebrating his death is a little bit sickening. This is where we are in 2025 September 20th. 

Which brings me to my next point. The fact that the Trump administration flew his body back via Airforce 1, and the Right-Wingers [although its mostly the far right that are sprouting revenge and violence] have made him a martyr in their crusade against the so called woke liberal left. When you see your right-wing friends saying Kirk was a good man, a great man, and that he was peaceful, you know that they're only saying that because that's what they've been told to believe because the man was quite frankly, an asshole of a right-wing persuasion. On the opposite side on the left, you see the celebratory theme of Kirk's death as a sort of meme of pop culture, which they've been told to believe in. 

That being said, it doesn't take a genius of political ideology to tell you that these two different parties are just followers, believing in whatever the 'leader,' is telling them to believe in. Which makes you wonder, is anyone truly thinking for themselves anymore in 2025? We got people hooked in ChatGPT, taking pictures of them in their outfits and asking GPT if it goes hard? The people who do think for themselves are getting drowned out, belittled, and disgraced by the people who are just followers of whatever ideology they've been told to follow. Which begs the question, can anyone truly be an outsider in 2025? Maybe not. 

Moving on from politics, you find today that the Culture has been transformed into a video culture. Meaning that most people are followers following the trends and can't resist it. I remember working at the market and most of the employees there would always be on their phones watching TikTok on the sales floor and even on their break, phone in one hand, and food in the other. For women and girls it's TikTok and videos nonstop, for men it's endless video games and YouTube. If you say you prefer books, you are seen as an outsider by these groups. 

That being said, I don't think that will ever change. What we're witnessing now is the decline and fall of the American experiment, which lasted roughly 300 years. We consume so much stuff and media, its like a fat guy eating 20 hamburgers, it's become disgusting. Nowadays I sometimes find myself getting lost in the male video gaming meme culture and after a few weeks I catch myself and realize that I have to resign from it for a few months to recuperate. The consumption of mass media in this culture has a strong effect on the human mind. 

Now, I'm not saying you have to read books all the time. But perhaps it wouldn't hurt to read a book every now and then? And if you can't stand books, maybe do some kind of learning via the internet instead of endless TikTok or doomscrolling? This current American culture has become some kind of monster [metallica reference], its got to the point where everything and everyone has become fake and useless [now trending.] 

Sometimes you might watch a TikTok or a YouTube video and it seems real and lifelike, but you find out later on that its AI voice generated video with real images, or that everything the person said or did in the video is all fake, not one tiny bit of it is honest or real in any way. This is where we are in 2025. From a young person's standpoint, it's almost frightening because young people are impressionable and a lot of them are going to believe a lot of what's online despite being told a lot of it is all fake. Now, I think the biggest skill for a young person to have is to be skeptical of everything and everyone around them, especially those closest to them. 

I worked at a grocery store in SoCal for a long time. In that time I probably worked with over 300 employees. And I was cool with almost all of them, cool as in I got along with them and we worked well together. But most of those people were fake and were always trying to do the bare minimum amount of work. This includes management and store directors as well. They were all, for the most part, not very good people, fake people, not hard-working people. They weren't evil people, but for the most part they were fake and useless. Most people don't tell it like how it really was and is, but I'm keeping it real and I might get flagged for this but most of them were bad people. Pretty much everyone at the market including managers, codirectors, and store directors were all not good people, very fake, and didn't do much work. I had one manager for 12 years, a Persian guy, who hardly did any work pretty much the entire 12 years, and hid in the back 4 hours a night. These people might be a good laugh to have a beer with, but they were not very good people. 

In conclusion, what's the solution? Well, I think you have to really learn to be skeptical of everyone and everything. As one of my managers said, "This is California, trust no one." As paranoid as that sounded to me he was right. I think today in 2025 you have to even be skeptical of little old ladies asking you questions on the street. Listen to your elders but don't take what they say to heart, because the future of the world is you, not them. The workforce people are all fake and they're probably going to do you in the first moment you say no to them or don't make the quota. Learn to build your own interior world. The world has become more and more fake. Everyone you knew in your past or from previous jobs probably treated you badly behind your back and you didn't realize it because if you're like me, you're a good spirit, even amongst demons. You tend to overlook that sharp eye of evil within your managers and coworkers. Yeah, it's in the eyes. 

As random and improvisatory as this long blog was, everything in it is connected. Brought to you via the government and workforce. Godspeed. Watch this space.  

"I couldn't say where she's comin' from, but I just met a woman named Dinah Mo Hum." 

New Horizons, Incoming Labor Day Weekend

 

Hello world. How are you doing? It seems like the world has changed so much since even the last post early this month about the novel Three Body Problem. I was reading a lot of novels nonstop. In fact, this year, since January, I've read 25 novels. In addition, I've started using ChatGPT consistently. I try not to  use it as a crutch for writing and/or actual ideas I have but rather as a sort of backup/double check on certain things. 

For example, today my friend came over and was having an issue connecting his laptop to the internet web browser, and I asked it a few questions about possible fixes and troubleshooting. I also use it for questions about novels and albums of particular jazz artists and Zappa albums. It's gotten to the point where I'm using it more than google, which is downright fascinating but I'm aware that I'm becoming attached to it a bit too much. For example, I wouldn't want to use ChatGPT to write this blog post. That would be a bridge too far. 

Moving on, what I'm mainly posting about today is more about a change of seasons. I moved on from my retail grocery job of twelve years and am now working at a thrift shop. It's not a glamorous job but it is a big change and there is room for advancement into management in the future. Pay is what the market will bear but the hours are reasonable and usually I get home around 9 pm. That is a huge plus for me because at the grocery job I was working till 1 am nearly every night for twelve years. So there's some good change here. 

In addition, the place is small, only has a few employees [but will be hiring more soon], and you answer to one main manager, and another bigger manager above him. My coworkers are very nice and they've done their best to train me my first two weeks so far. There's still certain things I need to go over and really get down better but overall I really like the work. There's a cashiering element to the job but it's not as intense as grocery store cashiering. There's a daily nightly report that gets emailed to the bigger manager that I have to learn to write faster and get down better. But overall, it's a job, with opportunities for advancement, and because it's not a glamorous job, I think there's safety there. 

Also, I think I lucked out with this job because right now the job market is cooked, as Gen Z says. There was a report in the nytimes about how this past month, in New York there was only 1,000 jobs added, which is insane, because I think there are more people in New York than in LA, so we're probably not doing too well with adding and filling jobs in LA either. 

Moving on, I got laid off from my grocery store job back in January, around the beginning of that month. Keep in mind that I didn't quit or want to leave. They sort of forced me out, a sort of forced being laid off. So I've been unemployed for seven months. It was a rough period. I would say it was second worst time of my entire life. I went through a lot of severe depression and had constant nightmares. For about three of those months I could barely get out of bed.

My daily routine consisted of getting up as early as I could, cleaning up, looking/applying to jobs online, going to places in person and handing out my resume and asking if they're hiring [which most managers didn't really appreciate], and getting tons of rejection emails. Out of about 65 jobs, [15-20 of them being the same job applied to more than once over a period of a couple months], I got four job interviews, went to three of them, and got the fourth one at this thrift store. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to stay in retail grocery because that's my primary job experience but it just didn't work out. In fact, the first three interviews were all at grocery stores, and I think I would've been a bit happier at a grocery store but again, it didn't work out. So this is the next step going forwards. 

Lastly, as the job market, economy, government, immigration system, and healthcare system collapse all around me, all I have to say is that as bad as those seven months being unemployed were, it actual wasn't as bad as it could've been. I had some savings to buy food and live on. I've spent a lot of money on that and want to replenish some of my savings with this new job. But more importantly than saving money or having money, I think right now just having a job is more important than ever. 

I don't want to be all about doom and gloom but the system is collapsing. It has been for a while but most people are in denial about it and the government/news never say that we're in a bad depression right now. I think its a lot worse than it looks. There was a shooting at a Catholic school yesterday that ended with the loss of two young lives, that shook the nation. I don't think it will get better and I don't think there will be gun reform as a result of this incident. 

In the worst of my moments being unemployed I seriously thought about giving up my groovy lifestyle in California to go back to the Midwest and live with my Mom, and help her out, especially now that she's getting older. With the way things are going for me here, I still might do that in the end. I've found that people I knew and know here in California were nice people at the time and we might have been friends for a while, but not every friendship lasts. I happen to think that the friends I made out here in California are much more narcissistic than my friends from the Midwest. Not only friends but a lot of managers at the retail grocery job were narcissistic as well. It kind of makes you wonder if there's something in the air here in California? 

Watch this space.    

Summertime, and The Living is Easy

Good evening, ladies and gents. Back at it with another writing experience, writing about life.

Times have been rough. I've been unemployed for about five months. I was recommended a cashier job at a grocery store from a co-worker from the job I got let go from and it ended up not working out. In addition, I went on an interview for another cashier job at a different grocery store and didn't get the job. I'm trying my best but getting a little discouraged, realizing that getting a job will be a lot harder than I thought. The job market is getting increasingly more difficult and I'm finding that AI is involved in the hiring process, making it harder to land the job. 

The first couple months I got let go, or technically, fired, from my retail grocery job of twelve years, I was pretty depressed. I started sleeping in till 3 or 4 PM and although I was still applying and going into businesses to checkout jobs, my mind was in the gutter. I was finally able to overcome that depression by setting up an earlier schedule and staying consistently busy throughout the day.

Usually this entailed waking up, cleaning up, and searching for jobs online everyday and applying to as many jobs that were suitable to me as possible. Then I make lunch. And do some reading and going out to the library. Then coming home and getting some dinner with family. At first, my stepdad was upset I got fired and he was almost equally mad at the fact that my managers I worked with for twelve years didn't have my best interests at heart. But you know, as they say, c'est la vie. Nowadays, my stepfather is more easy going about what I'm going through right now, because he knows that the job market is tough, and doesn't want me to end up working in a warehouse breaking my back or flipping burgers at McDonalds, lowering my ranking on a resume. He still believes in me, oddly enough, and that I can pull myself into another decent cashier position. Luck of the draw, he says.

As for myself, I'm not really quite sure. I have enough cash for food and rent for now but I'm noticing more and more that as gen z'ers say, this job market is cooked. We're cooked. Things are so bad that my co-worker from the last job that tried to get me a job at this different grocery store says that I should try to apologize my way back to my old position, which sounds like a terrible idea, although a manager said I was probably blacklisted when my brother asked them about it. So I'm not really sure when I'll land a job or if I will find employment anytime soon. Things are sad right now in that aspect. I'm pretty upset at the entire situation but being angry or trying to get back at people who misused and abused me in the old workplace isn't the answer.

In the meantime, I'm trying to find peace and balance in the universe. I'm reading a lot, going to the library, still searching for jobs, and now finally tonight, getting back into writing. In addition, I created a Substack, which is sort of like a social media for intellectuals and sharing ideas and writing. At some point when I build an audience on there, I'll probably charge a small subscription fee per month, try to add some coffee money to my wallet. 

Lastly, in other news, this second Trump administration has been the worst years of my living in the United States, and in my life. My actual life is comfortable and I have food and rent money but the future is more and more uncertain and I have no means of employment, most of my friends are marginals, my only good work contact couldn't help me out as much as she wanted to, I can't afford to move out or strike out anywhere on my own, we're basically in world war 3, there are Ice Raids here in LA and I have a hispanic name, I live with family, and I can't get a job. Things could be a lot better and I wonder what will happen in even say three months time. But hey, it's summertime, and the living is easy. [I got it so bad, I got it good.]  

The Rise and Decline of the American Empire

It's Saturday, May 3, 2025, 2:02 am. Here, I'd like to jot down some notes on life in America, at this current juncture in history. 

Donald Trump has enacted many tariffs and we're in and have been in various trade wars, notably with China. The President doesn't usually have the power to enable all these tariffs at one moment but he's been given the power by the republican controlled House and Congress. I'm not sure if these tariffs are part of Project 2025, but it seems like it could be, and many MAGA-republicans and Trump fans seem to like the idea and be for it, despite the fact that there isn't one economist out there that says this is a good plan for America going forward. 

The basic idea is that most countries haven't been paying their fair share towards America, and that all these tariffs will even the playing field. Except that's not how it works and its a stupid idea and it's already causing havoc across the land. I would say right now is another turning point in American history. This is like COVID-19 back in 2020, when the economy took a major crash. This is like America in 2008 before the market crash and we had some 10 years of austerity. 

But wait, it gets worse! Not only is Trump doing tariffs and trade wars, he's also utilizing Elon Musk and his DOGE, and Kennedy Jr., to do mass layoffs of federal and health employees, something to the tune of 10,000 employees. And these aren't temporary layoffs, folks. On top of that he's gutting and cutting the Department of Education. So there's various things going on, probably too many to count and/or mention in one small blogpost. 

So right now, you could say we're living in the Decline of the American Empire. Perhaps even saying that is too generous and it's possible we're already some 5-10 years into the Decline of American Empire. Tariffs aren't going to bring back jobs, especially manufacturing jobs, as Trump says. Those jobs are gone forever. We've become a full service economy so in America we just don't build things. We're not known for that anymore. 

Knowing that we're in the decline, what can we really do? We can stay informed and up to date on the daily news but even knowing this, we already know that things are bad. But nothing will change. We've become complacent, so complacent, that unless Donald Trump is removed by the rule of law [impeachment], then every democrat will just go along with whatever's going on even though they know that it is morally wrong. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a progressive, although probably more moderate than most of them, but I must say, the democrats haven't done much to combat the effectiveness of Donald Trump and the so-called Project 2025 project. I thought it was amazing to see Senator Cory Booker stand up and talk about how bad Trump made everything for 25 hours, and it was a great thing that so many Americans are protesting every weekend since this first 100 days of Trump's presidency, but I don't see those things as effective enough to make a difference in Washington, and most importantly, it's not stopping or hindering Trump. You can only do so much through demonstrations, protests, and walkins/walkouts. The best means of change is through legislative law and/or action. 

So what we're seeing now is the downfall of America and all its institutions of government. And guess what, there's probably nothing we can do to stop it. Why? Because things have been set in motion that can't be undone. Even if Trump loses and we elect a democrat it will take many years to undue that damage that Trump's done. 

What I see right now in the real world, offline, in the streets, in businesses, at work [when I was working], is that people are isolating themselves into small bubbles, small groups in order to better isolate themselves and their families via their wealth, probably from the impending doom of this economic fallout from these tariffs. I think it's probably even worse than what they're reporting on TV, and I believe even economists might not know how bad it could get. But hey, it's not like I'm completely surprised, this is Donald Trump, and we know he loves tariffs. 

But anyways, staying on point, once you start walking around more and more in your little town or big town in some cases, you'll start to realize people are isolating themselves more, they're not going outside of their comfort zone as much, they're not going out as much, they've become ensconced in their religious groups, work/occupation groups, and family groups, and they're not really looking at the larger group or community anymore. You might meet some friends and associates through work for example, but for the most part they stick to these particular cliques, groups of association, and everything outside of that is forbidden. Why is that?

I see it as another sign of the decline of the American Empire. People will not leave their selected group and/or tribe, whatever it may be, out of fear, fear, for whatever reason keeps them locked into these small isolated groups or tribes, and when the people as a whole, for example in your town, are completely divided into small groups, it is in this particular formation, that nothing good and no improvements, and nothing will get done to improve your town or area, government, and looking at the bigger picture, the national government. 

Thanks for sticking with me this far, I swear there's a point to this. This is where all my fiction reading comes to play. Once everybody is divided into their smaller groups, it doesn't matter where they get their information or even if the information is true, because it won't matter because all these various groups will already be decided on every issue and these splintered off groups, they eventually lead to syndicate type formations that will rule and divy up everything in your town. Groups that may have even started as 'good groups' meant to better their small niche communities but eventually go rogue and become bad groups due to all the other groups doing the same thing. As you can see this won't end well.

I've rambled a lot here, but I hope I make sense. You really can't explain this in an easy way because you really can't make this stuff up. I was ousted out of a work organization [retail grocery] for pretty trivial reasoning from my store director, after 10 years of loyal hard work and service. I'm not saying everyone should start drinking coffee and reading Saarte and become progressive but even within that organization I saw these sort of bread and butter syndicate type of thinking and behavior from members of the staff, including low level employees, middle managers, and store leaders. After all that hard work and time put in, the members within that community didn't reach out to me or ask about what happened. In the end, we're all replaceable, me, you, everyone. I guess that's what makes this moment strike fear into the hearts of the American people. We don't know what will happen, why it will happen, or if we will even have jobs in the short to long term, let alone planning for investments. 

I guess this is the part where I tell you the bad guys won. Our God isn't coming to save us, our parents can't help us, our institutions/government/education have failed us, and our places of employment see us as easily replaceable despite loyalty, hard work, and dedication.

As Hobbes would say, "it's everyman for himself and God against all."