Juneteenth 2024: Honoring Freedom's Triumph and Embracing Unity in Today's Narrative

On Juneteenth 2024, amidst the commemoration of historic strides towards freedom and unity, the air resonates with both celebration and profound reflection.

     How's it going out there? Everything going alright? Hello world. 

     First, I'd like to talk about work. There's been a lot of buzz at my grocery store job because recently there was a beating. It was captured on our store cameras, which somehow was handed over to the news, which is actually a big no-no inside our company. Apparently, there's an agreement sheet employees have to sign stating that if ever there arises any incidences in the store, we are not to talk to the media about it. An older employee, manager of the online department, an adult male, 50 years old, stopped a shoplifter earlier that day, a black lady, and she left without being able to steal her items. 

     However, later that day, she came back with two 'friends,' who accosted our employee from behind while he was working. He was beat up, and they even beat him with the garbage can. He seemed fine, as he was at work the next day, he didn't have too many bruises, but he was deeply rattled by the experience. When the news came to our store to ask to interview him, his answer was, 'no comment,' smart man, as he knows we're not supposed to talk to the media about whatever incidents might occur. 

     However, that's not all there is to the story. There seems to be more. On top of a customers being now scared to shop at our store [I actually had a few customers tell me they will be avoiding our store for a while, probably resulting in a small loss of business], I believe there is still fallout left to be had regarding this beating video incident. Management has become very tight lipped about it, and I believe shits rolling downhill in terms of some shit that might be about to go down. Managers are tight-lipped right now to the point where they appear rude and uncaring and mean to both employees and customers, which means that probably somebody is going to get in a lot of trouble; like perhaps a writeup, or suspension, something of that sort. Why? Because we as employees and managers aren't allowed to share video, talk about, or share any information regarding incidents that occur in the store. So the question is who did it and why? 

     So now, it's been a week later, possibly upper management will find out who went into the backroom, got the camera footage, and released it to the public news, and at some point someone will probably be punished for it. Why shouldn't they be punished? Think about it, we don't really know the reason why whoever did this released the video to the public news. They 'said [according to the news],' that they wanted the video out there because they want people to recognize the perpetrators in the video and hopefully they can be charged and/or punished legally. But I have to ask myself this question, did they release the video to the public news for cash money? So now I can see why certain managers in particular are angry, tight lipped, and/or confused on the job right now. There's a shit storm brewing! 

     Lastly on this issue, I'm not a big fan of upper management at my work, because they're major assholes that probably do deserve a good beating here and there because they low-ball hardworking people and pay them lower than they deserve, but my question to whatever management that released the store camera video of the beating to the public news, did you really think you would outsmart upper management? Only time will tell. 

     So, the store has become more hardcore. I've said this at other times throughout the years right here on this blog, especially during the plague journal covid years, but I think now it is at its worst point. It was almost to the breaking point during the covid years but somehow nothing major really happened, it's a blessing, as those were difficult years with lots of irate customers that sometimes wanted to get physical. 

     Well, now our old lady security guard doesn't work at night. Now, at night we have beefy armed security guards that are bigger than me [I'm 6 ft, 240  pounds], so the store is being much more closely guarded and secured by armed security. It has helped a lot but now I have that creeping unsuspecting feeling that the store has become like some sort of 'Big Brother is Watching You Zone,' which is totally not what I wanted, but it does seem to have made the job easier because I don't have to confront shoplifters as much, because armed security is already on it. 

     In addition, the store has had a Big Brother Watching You vibe for as long as I can remember, because upper management has a camera up above every cashier as they're working, 24/7, recording, but now it's got this added aggressive element, which, again, makes the job easier, but it is not the most comfortable vibe to work or shop. I think this is how most stores have become in America. Not really the kinds of places I would want to shop, especially if you're black, because most of the time, security guards in retail environments think blacks and hispanics are the most common perps, and in these businesses they're the ones who usually get caught stealing red-handed.

     Also, I wasn't really going to go here but because its Juneteenth, I saw Charlemane Tha God [a radio personalty] on Bill Maher last night and he said something that I think resonates with black America. He said if you're black in America you have to work five times as hard as a white person to get the same success. I think this quote speaks volumes to black people and people of color in general, not just black people. I think about my struggles and contradictions. Most of the newer staff at my work are young and dumb and they complain about the work most of the time they are there. One guy keeps complaining about doing carts all the time. I replied and told him that I pushed carts for years before I became a main-time cashier. And they reply back with a whip saying, "I'm not going to stay here as long as you did, you worked too hard for them," which you know, is a pretty dumb rebuttal, but hey, what can you do? I know for sure who has it in them to be a hard worker and who is a whiner and complainer and isn't helping the work staff on that fabled night shift I'm working on. 

     However, I think the quote says volumes. I would say as a black person in California, from out of the state, I worked five times harder than most white people I've known in my entire life, not just the ones from California, but also the ones from my home state of Wisconsin. Now, just because I know I worked five times harder than them doesn't mean that I think I'm better than them, it just means that I struggled more and persevered more. Is it because of my race? Yes, to a large degree, but that's how it is in America. Immigrants and people of color have to work harder than white people to compete in the same arena and get the same kind of success, that's just the reality. If you don't acknowledge this reality, you aren't living in America. But this doesn't mean that black people will work five times harder, not every black person will do that, some will barely work hard, and fall behind in the economic spectrum, or have to rely on a rich girlfriend or wife to support them. I think Biden's executive order allowing immigrants to become citizens via wives/husbands family was a big win for Juneteenth day. I know most immigrants that come here are usually hispanic but I think right now Biden needs to appeal to working class people of color to make sure he secures the votes to win this election. 

     Lastly, there's lots of reading, guitar, piano, ai art, political news, good meals, and good jazz and opera going around in my life but there's a feeling that the social culture is and has been collapsing. I find that the people I know or used to know are kind of lazy, dumb, and they all want to get rich quick. Nobody wants to work hard the traditional way, working a regular job and clocking in hours, like a moral conservative. 

     Instead, they've turned to these schemes and get out of jail tricks that they think will save their bacon so they don't have to work a 9 to 5 under a boss. One friend thinks inheriting stuff is the key, one friend to become a real estate guy, one friend to work multiple jobs and pay our friend rent, one guy to be an armed ATM security guard, one guy wants to become a full-time paid bassist but has no original songs and a weak voice. These guys are planning to break open pandora's box and hopefully it will save their bacon inshallah. 

     But again, nobody is staying consistent, working hard, building up, living clean and spiritually, having good energy with people they meet even on a bad day, and working their way up anymore. Now, people think they can get rich quick and that they don't need to pay their dues. It's deeply saddening and troubling. Because, in a sense, I see that most of the young and even older people around me are delusional. But hey, what can you do, its retail, right? I'm working the next nine days straight starting tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck, God Speed. 

*Have a safe Juneteenth everybody, also summer covid is a thing, lots of people are getting sick*

What's a brotha to do?

What's up ladies and gentlemen of the interwebz. It's been a minute since I last wrote a post. I've been on a blog/writing hiatus for a while now. The reason? A lot of work at the main retail gig mostly. Lately, I've been getting these long six-day work weeks. Eight hours, six days a week. They're exhausting but hey, I think they call that a job. 

I've been reading a lot. I recently finished The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Nearly 800 pages! At one point I was averaging about 100 pages a day. I'm currently reading the Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. Bring on more classics of the western canon! Brothers Karamazov is such a great work with so much gravitas that I think it deserves to be reread in a couple years if not sooner. 

The Canterbury Tales took me a long time to get into. For a while, I contemplated reading it but instead got hooked on video games for a few days. I've been playing a lot of Overwatch within my last two days off, leaving me in a kind of zoned-out, zombified, sort of state. The game is fun but it gets to be a little mind-numbing after a while. I've been in gaming limbo. Most of the time I don't play games at all but every now and then on days off, I play a lot. Missing out on precious reading time on days off.  

Actually, if I don't read pretty often [every day] my mind starts to wander and drift off into this kind of zoned-out mode. What can I say? I have to stay engaged in the literature to feel active in life. I've become such a reader that when I don't read for one-two days, I start to feel not quite like myself. Fiction especially. And philosophy. Literary essays. 

In terms of music, I've been playing weekly jazz duo jams with my friend Jason Thomas. I'll probably post some music from our sessions here at some point soon. The jam sessions have become more improvisational but I would say that we need to increase our repertoire. Especially Coltrane songs. Songs like Afro Blue, My Favorite Things, Naima, etc. 

I had a freaky moment at work during the past week where I met a music student who actually studied with my music mentor, the new music composer Frank Abbinanti. Apparently, Sid studied with Frank for five years [or more] in Chicago before he came out to California to study at Cal Art. This is pretty astounding. I was dumbstruck. This is where I get to say that I believe in God and metaphysics. What are the chances of meeting this guy? Considering that we are both from Chicago and both are mentored by Frank. Apparently, my step-father knows Sid and his father as well from when they used to run a new music orchestra. Wow! How about that? 

Having free time to write a rambling post like this has been great. In fact, I've been so tired from work lately that I haven't had the energy to turn on my laptop and write posts, let alone my usual book reviews. Instead, the last month or so I've been ranting a lot about retail, and my Marxist tendencies, as well as my arrival to class consciousness via retail work. It's a wonderful world. 

Plans for the future? Well, for one thing, I'm going to get back to my usual book review stuff. For another, I plan on going back and working on my first novel, which was written and finished a while ago, but definitely not perfect. I'm actually not satisfied with it and intend on going back to the original version, which didn't have much editing, without messing it up. My problem with my memoir initially was that I finished a rough draft and then wrote a longer, edited version. However, after going over the edited version I realized that it was edited in a wrongheaded way, forcing me to go back to the drawing board. 

Thankfully, I have the original version. Just to explain to you how different the original is from the edited version, the original version is only 50 pages, whereas the edited version is 100 pages. A lot of people have told me that I should submit it to publishers and try to get something done with it. We will see after I rework it again. 

Likewise, I want to write more short stories of a fictional nature. Science fiction and just plain, old, regular fiction. A reader must write if he or she is so inclined. I've been reading a lot of Jack Reacher [the short story collection]  so I'm inspired to write things in that vein. We will see. 

Lastly, it's not that I haven't quite had as much time to write that I haven't written anything. Rather, it's just that I've been damn tired. So tired that I haven't really been playing guitar much. I've stopped attending the bar open mics because I realized their limitations [two songs, ten minutes, buy drinks, too much $] and in fact, when I play and buy drinks there, I'm losing money and free time. In terms of music, I'm more motivated by Frank Abbinanti's musical advice and direction. In terms of writing, I'm very inspired. But sometimes you gotta force yourself to write. Even when you're dead tired. 

The holidays can be a real downer for people. This time of year is hard on workers because most people have to work during the holidays rather than spend time with their families. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. The important thing is to keep doing the things that motivate you and push yourself to get the things you want to be done. If you don't push yourself, nobody else will. 

I've got to keep pushing myself.