Just wanted to write, about anything here.
First, what I've been up to lately. I've been working a lot at the retail grocery job but I'm also producing a lot of ai generated art featured on my Instagram, which can be seen here. In addition, I'm reading a lot. Right now I'm reading through George Eliot's Middlemarch. I'm also still practicing instruments, mostly guitar and piano. It's all time consuming. Plus sometimes I go out to the bar after work and chill with people there. In between I try to stay updated on what's happening in the news and whatnot.
Next, Middlemarch is a very dry book. It's fiction but its so dry its almost like reading Gibbon's History of the Rise and Decline of the Roman Empire, which I happen to also be reading, but on my phone when I'm on work breaks, traveling on the bus, or laying down before bed. In those moments I finished Gibbon's volume 1 of the series. Fascinating material. I mentioned the Gibbon book to a customer the other day and he said, 'yeah, but did Gibbon write about how the Romans debased the currency?' I thought it was a minor thing to mention considering all the other stuff they did, but yeah, I sort of felt like the guy said that because he's trying to somehow form and correlate a modern day theory that we're like the Romans because the government has, in its own various methods, sort of debased our American currency. It was an interesting comment for him to focus on, or so I may think.
However, Middlemarch is much more dry than the Gibbon because fiction isn't supposed to be so dry, it's supposed to be lifelike, literally coming to life off the page, that's what people go to fiction for, its infinite mana, its endless creativity, that drives us to keep turning the pages. What can I say about George Eliot? She writes about well off British people in the country, their marriages, their relationships, their struggles and contradictions with everything including their own personalities and shortcomings. Eliot is so brilliant that she even writes about upcoming technology, factories, and agriculture within the book, which takes place in 1829. In a sense, I think Eliot is almost too brilliant to become a beloved favorite writer or author, rather it is her authority as a voice and her brilliant observations that command respect even if most people will never read the entirety of Middlemarch unless they're a English Graduate student.
Next, work has been grueling. Working at the grocery store has its ups and downs, and interactions with customers can sometimes be less-than-pleasant, and even with your managers. The late night rush lasts a very long time till midnight sometimes. The customers are impatient and angry and are always willing and ready to start fights beginning with name calling and yelling and sometimes escalating beyond that if they feel so inclined. And boy do they steal. They expect quick service and when they don't get it they sometimes rage. There's a lot of disrespect from customers and managers alike. One common thing I notice is sometimes when customers are in the regular checkout lines they're being rung up, they're ignoring the cashier and they're on their phone yapping.
In addition, there's the emotional labor within the job. The job is grueling and there's few people that are actually cool with you while you're there. Some of the closest associates and managers I've worked with for years I'm not really cool with them and in fact I think they're shirkers hiding trying to get out of work most of all the time. I usually ignore them and just do what I want. When managers are pretty dumb and not really taking care of business, you find that them doing that allows you to pretty much do what you want, albeit with some caution.
Remember, most people, including your managers are too dumb and lazy to really pay too much attention, make the most of it. After working in this business for 12 years, you learn that most managers are fake and manipulative so you have to learn how to fake them out in order to do what you want. I had a friend who became a manager and he became another one of those managerial drones that hates his job, maybe his life, maybe himself, but boy does he love being a manager. They ain't reading Middlemarch I'll tell ya that. Another tip for working grueling jobs like this is that if everybody's having a bad day and the work is going to utter shite, and they're all bitching to you, remember you're still having a better day than everybody else so act like it. Act better, be better.
Moving on, the news has been pretty much what I thought it would be. There's really no new news, just more of the same, on a loop, on a 24/7 timescale. I don't care if you're a democrat or a republican, the media and the government has you believing that we're all divided, 'us versus them,' gay versus straight, abortion vs the family, rich versus poor, white versus brown, worker versus ceo, democrat versus republican, this versus that.' I sincerely believe that this is what the government, the media, TV. movies, music, this is what I think they're saying at this impressionable time period in American democracy.
Just think about the fact that you probably don't even know about BarbenHeimer unless you are a person of a certain kind of persuasion, a certain kind of class, a certain kind of taste. Kind of a random thing to mention but I want to hate on BarbenHeimer because I think it caught the zeitgeist at an important moment in American history what with so much going on with politics. The average American probably saw Barbenheimer but what about the people that didn't? Are they not as American as the rest of them? It's an odd but important question I think for an important reason. Who are the other people?
Lastly, to wrap things up, we're living in a timescale where pretty much the only way to be safe from most harm in the world, is to have money. Either be born rich, get rich, or work your whole life till you accumulate enough of it because the way the world is going now, the world is turning itself into a money empire, money is the only thing that is important. I think, at this current juncture. I have my hippie element at times, because I'm a musician, but most people would agree with me, that money has pretty much taken over as the most important value of a thing in this world. It's bleak, man.
Here's a story about money. I have a friend who's rooming with an old friend of ours for $1,000/month but he doesn't want to be there, and he wants to get out, but he can't go back to his parents out of fear or shame, and he can't afford to live on his own, and he prefers not have roommates so he's rooming with our old friend and its not going good. These are the real modern day American problems that the media doesn't talk about. My good pal is stuck with this other guy, supposedly a pal, but he's really an asshole and my guy wants out but he's stuck because the American economic system is setup so that you can't really move out of your parents place unless you have a very good salary at a good job with 40 hours plus benefits or more. That's the reality the media doesn't talk about, instead they usually just force-feed the 'us vs them,' slogan repeatedly. Of course, most conservatives would say my friend isn't doing enough to help himself and that he might need two or three jobs, but at that point, even if he did get his own place, that would be putting an even higher price on life, wouldn't it?
In conclusion, time to wake up. Only caring about yourself will only get you so far, usually in an organization, but in real life, outside the workplace you have to learn to think smarter and harder about how you can improve the world around you, and think for yourself, rather than listening to the media, your parents, your boss, your friends, your acquaintances. You have to learn to think more about how to correctly justify the differences between right and wrong, and the moral grey. I'm telling you right now, most people don't know how to do this, even some people I know in their 40s and 50s, who you would think would have become smarter by now but it's already too late for them. They've been indoctrinated into their systems of belief, usually the wrong system, you can tell because they're still fucking up even if you don't know or hear about it too often. They're fucking up in the shadows, lol.
ps, covid might make a comeback this summer in LA
