Summertime, and The Living is Easy

Good evening, ladies and gents. Back at it with another writing experience, writing about life.

Times have been rough. I've been unemployed for about five months. I was recommended a cashier job at a grocery store from a co-worker from the job I got let go from and it ended up not working out. In addition, I went on an interview for another cashier job at a different grocery store and didn't get the job. I'm trying my best but getting a little discouraged, realizing that getting a job will be a lot harder than I thought. The job market is getting increasingly more difficult and I'm finding that AI is involved in the hiring process, making it harder to land the job. 

The first couple months I got let go, or technically, fired, from my retail grocery job of twelve years, I was pretty depressed. I started sleeping in till 3 or 4 PM and although I was still applying and going into businesses to checkout jobs, my mind was in the gutter. I was finally able to overcome that depression by setting up an earlier schedule and staying consistently busy throughout the day.

Usually this entailed waking up, cleaning up, and searching for jobs online everyday and applying to as many jobs that were suitable to me as possible. Then I make lunch. And do some reading and going out to the library. Then coming home and getting some dinner with family. At first, my stepdad was upset I got fired and he was almost equally mad at the fact that my managers I worked with for twelve years didn't have my best interests at heart. But you know, as they say, c'est la vie. Nowadays, my stepfather is more easy going about what I'm going through right now, because he knows that the job market is tough, and doesn't want me to end up working in a warehouse breaking my back or flipping burgers at McDonalds, lowering my ranking on a resume. He still believes in me, oddly enough, and that I can pull myself into another decent cashier position. Luck of the draw, he says.

As for myself, I'm not really quite sure. I have enough cash for food and rent for now but I'm noticing more and more that as gen z'ers say, this job market is cooked. We're cooked. Things are so bad that my co-worker from the last job that tried to get me a job at this different grocery store says that I should try to apologize my way back to my old position, which sounds like a terrible idea, although a manager said I was probably blacklisted when my brother asked them about it. So I'm not really sure when I'll land a job or if I will find employment anytime soon. Things are sad right now in that aspect. I'm pretty upset at the entire situation but being angry or trying to get back at people who misused and abused me in the old workplace isn't the answer.

In the meantime, I'm trying to find peace and balance in the universe. I'm reading a lot, going to the library, still searching for jobs, and now finally tonight, getting back into writing. In addition, I created a Substack, which is sort of like a social media for intellectuals and sharing ideas and writing. At some point when I build an audience on there, I'll probably charge a small subscription fee per month, try to add some coffee money to my wallet. 

Lastly, in other news, this second Trump administration has been the worst years of my living in the United States, and in my life. My actual life is comfortable and I have food and rent money but the future is more and more uncertain and I have no means of employment, most of my friends are marginals, my only good work contact couldn't help me out as much as she wanted to, I can't afford to move out or strike out anywhere on my own, we're basically in world war 3, there are Ice Raids here in LA and I have a hispanic name, I live with family, and I can't get a job. Things could be a lot better and I wonder what will happen in even say three months time. But hey, it's summertime, and the living is easy. [I got it so bad, I got it good.]  

Covid Retail Experience, One Year Later

Wie gehts? Guten Abend.

This is compare and contrast post. To start, begin by reading the covid retail experience one year ago when it first began. You can find it here. In addition, please check out my plague journal, which you can find here. That links to all my written documents documenting life during the pandemic, starting as early as the day before the pandemic initially began. I was at a punk rock concert then. Anyways, without further adieu, here's a rundown of the COVID retail experience, one year later. Also, feel free to checkout my virus science fiction short story, which you can find here. The story is inspired by working at a grocery store during a pandemic of all things. 

First, customers AND employees are no longer required to wear masks. This is huge! Most of the staff have wisely chosen to continue wearing their masks, including myself, because safety first and we're around many people each day on the job. About 1/4 of the customers are coming into the store maskless but the majority of customers are indeed wearing their masks. Smart. 

Second, I've been given the main role of morning cashier dude. All my shifts are mornings, same times, same days off, every week. It's  hard gig to get, and a hard gig to hold. The early mornings are something I'll never get used to. With great power comes great responsibility.

Third, most of the staff is vaccinated and the incentive to do so was a payment of $100 by our store director. A shot to be safe from COVID and money from our employer. Not too shabby! 

Fourth, at this current stage of the pandemic there's no messages to the employees from upper management or the store director or from low management to employees. So it seems they're taking the route of the city of LA, that COVID is down, and that it's almost nearly over for the most part so they don't have to say anything. They didn't tell us we could ditch the masks, rather it's just something I've noticed. I've noticed certain managers not wearing their masks, which is bad because it sets a bad example for their employees, that our workspace is safe from COVID still, despite the fact that we're on top of people all day long in small enclosed spaces. Yadda yadda yadda. 

Fifth, the work at the store has become easier and more smooth. My position just involves working with customers, ringing up items, cash handling, that's it. Meaning work is pretty easy although it gets old quick. C'est la vie. 

Finally, it should be noted that at this current stage of the pandemic the work environment has proven safe, with or without the mask. I occasionally take off my mask as I walk through the store and I feel safe. Upper management could've done a better job in regards to making sure the staff got vaccinated, [there are some who refused or still haven't been vaccinated, despite the $100 reward] and in addition they could have been more open with us regarding the rules and timings and days when the masks mandate was uplifted not only in LA but in the store, mask wearing as regards employees, etc. 

The way I found out was that my manager just one day wasn't wearing a mask. Is that the way the leadership is there nowadays? The manager takes off the mask while his employees keep wearing their masks? Questions there for sure. But for another time under a different sort of philosophical gestalt, if you will [isn't that what all of these are]. 

Thanks for reading. Keep calm and read on. 

Gute Nacht

A Midsummer Night

Hello, ladies and gents. Thought I'd jot down some ideas and thoughts on life right now. 

Life really isn't that great for most people these days. Myself included. There is so much strife and discord in our country right now, it's unbelievable. Even though I consume copious amounts of information regarding the news via online websites and periodicals, at some point you just think to yourself, "why is this happening?" Why indeed. 

A big factor in this gigantic disinformation campaign currently being disheveled to the masses is the fact that the White House is spreading it themselves. Yes, online news websites are biased, but can you really blame them when our President is doing it ten-fold? I think not. 

Not to mention the fact that COVID-19 is spreading faster and stronger by the day. It's really scary out there right now. No state is safe. No person is safe. None of your loved ones are safe and we should all do the things that are required in order to flatten the curve. Yes, we've heard these lines a lot, but I fear that people aren't hearing it. Sure, they're doing they're part but the fact of the matter is that perhaps without some severe draconian methods, like what the Chinese did, there will be no way to stop the spread of this virus, ultimately lasting years, and we won't have enough vaccines, if they ever even make one in a reasonable amount of time, soon.     

But this virus isn't just about deaths. It's about people. How are you doing these days? Most people aren't doing great. Most of them are unemployed and will continue to be unemployed. I'm getting super short shifts and low hours. I'm lucky because I'm decent in terms of finances but the vast majority of people are hurting.

I envision a future America not based on money at all because people simply won't have it, or won't have much of it. I believe the future isn't based on wealth, education, or employment, rather it will be based on finding a new way to live.

We simply haven't been able to live life the way that we are accustomed to anymore. That ship has sailed nearly six months ago. The answer, then, is to find a new meaning to our lives, that is important to us, and gives value to ourselves. 

This is probably the worst period of my young life and even saying that it still isn't that bad compared to say the Great Depression or wartime. Although it is much worse than the 2008 Recession, for comparison. 

I've had to limit most social interactions in person and a lot of my communication with other people has only been through online voice comms [headset mic] or through text messaging on apps. My one saving grace, although it is a double-edged sword, is my retail gig, literally the one place where I see other people and talk to people in person. Ironic, saying since the place isn't very safe and has already had a few cases of COVID. 

I go to work in an hour or so. I feel good about working there even during COVID. Sure, it isn't safe, but it's a good job for me because I get to help others and interact with people on a real level, nothing fake. I'm a people person. Interaction, baby. This summer has been kind of a bummer with the protests, the politics, the White House, the President, and the pandemic. I don't think we can curve this virus anytime soon, rather the answer lies in how we choose to live our lives. Are we going to become better, smarter individuals, or let the chaos engulf us?

Summertime, Gotta Get That Feeling

Hello, ladies and gents. I was bored before a mid-shift at work and figured now would be a good time to write a blog about life in general. 

Once again, as if I haven't said it enough, the pandemic is raging. These are the highest record number of new cases and deaths in California and the United States. It's a brutal time. Yet, we still have to find a way to live. 

For me, it's mostly been a matter of finding a balance. What is the right balance between personal home life, friends, family, work, and recreation? I talk to a lot of friends, mostly online, but I've found that if you neglect your own personal downtime then you're doing it all wrong, especially during the pandemic. 

There is only one good thing about this pandemic. It's given us all lots of more time. Using this time wisely and effectively, we can come to terms with ourselves, our families/friends/co-workers/jobs/goals, and find ourselves. What do you want out of life? What are you doing to achieve that? That is the one good thing about this terrible virus. Use that time wisely and all of a sudden you're happy again and proud of your accomplishments in life, be that as they may. 

For me this involves a lot of things; reading, writing, looking for other jobs, talking to lots of friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and a lot of rest because doing this can be draining. I believe most people don't take advantage of quiet relaxing hobbies like reading and writing because they're used to more easy-to-get gratification. Why read a book when you can play a video game, or watch a TV show? The problem is that those people miss out on a prime way to relax, stimulate the brain without overstimulating it, and enjoy quiet downtime. 

At this point in the pandemic, I've probably played more video games in the last four months than in the last year. It's been pretty intense. Likewise, there are people out there who watch more Netflix more and more every day. For myself and them, there's a wicked after effect from this sort of activity, overstimulation, a sort of synaesthesia.

Once you're so used to all the free time and doing everything you want to do all the time, you get lost in the pleasure and overstimulation. Too much of a good thing leads to you going backward. Someone who watches Netflix all day isn't a bad or stupid person, but it will lead them to essentially becoming a couch potato their whole lives. Nobody wants to be the bio-mass, with their beer bellies, trying to find the remote to turn on the next episode. 

On another note, it's summertime, gotta get that feeling. Enjoy the outdoors, go to the beach, order great take out. 

Life during the pandemic has gone pretty well for me. I took off two months and then almost two months back at work, they gave me minimal hours. That actually worked for me, because at the time I didn't want to work too much because of how small our store is, and people get packed in there like sardines. Lucky for me, I didn't need the money as much as I could have needed it, so I spent a lot of extra free time soul searching. It wasn't until this week, this day exactly, that my hours shot back up to regular hours, meaning, essentially, that a lot of the new hires already quit, got fired, or went back to their old jobs. In addition, I no longer work closing shifts, rather, I work mornings and mid shifts. Howboudah? 

I spent a lot of my free time reading, writing, gaming, and talking to friends but there was also a lot of soul searching as well. You learn to come to grips with reality on your own initiative, it's hard to explain but the more you work on it, the more insight you gain about life, yourself, and others. Even if the world is burning all around us, we have to learn to go inside ourselves, and reflect upon peace and love, as hippy and dippy as that sounds. 

This isn't easy, and it's much easier said than done, but if you keep pushing yourself, find yourself, you can attain enlightenment and really see the joy in the world. 

Gotta get that feeling!

My Last Words

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I don't mean to alarm anyone with a post entitled "My Last Words," no this isn't the end of the blog, nor is it a manifesto [although I'd love to write a manifesto one day]. Rather, this is a dialogue on a what-if. 


Okay, so we all know that COVID-19 is stronger than ever. Six months in, there's no end in sight. I'm still working at my retail gig I've worked for seven years now. There's no real protection from the virus there, and there are no limits on how many customers can be inside the store at any one time. At this current juncture, it isn't if I catch the virus, but when. And at that point, if I'm not so lucky, what then? 

In the event of premature death, here it is...my last words. 

I've lived a good life. In fact, I've already lived my dream. My dream was to live and work in California, enjoy the sun, and play guitar. I've already achieved that and have been very happy with my life in the last ten years or so.

The beginning was a lot rougher but you live and learn. Not everyone is dealt a good hand in life, rather, you are given what you are given and you are expected to learn to thrive no matter what. I would say I've done pretty well in life. I'm black, I'm not street, and have never been to jail.

My family played an important role throughout my life and still does. What I always underestimated in my life was the importance of my friends and acquaintances around me. Without them, I would have struggled much more in life. I would have suffered from loneliness. Thanks to my friends I've never really experienced loneliness.

In terms of goals and dreams, I'm not quite sure if that will still be happening under the pandemic. Sure, we could get better jobs and make a little more cash, but at what cost? I'm proud to be working during the pandemic and to have a job. My dreams of being a musician have been cast to the wind. I'll probably never play an open mic again, at least until COVID is over, which could be in years, who knows?

I have other goals that I work towards. Like my writing, for example. Let my writing speak for itself. The blog has been going strong for seven years and I've got nearly 700 posts, all on various subjects like music, novels, movies, games, ideas, and everyday life. I worked hard on writing fiction and I had a pipedream about becoming a fiction writer but at this point, I just do it for the hell of it. Publishers be damned.

I've had like one or two big epiphanies about life [that I wrote about on here in the back track] that really mellowed me out and made me see reality in a much different and better lens. Those were good and life-affirming. But the hardest thing to do is keep pushing through in life constantly when nobody is there rooting for you or fighting for you. That's when you truly see how alone you really are in this world despite the fact that we're all in this together.  

I believe that the only thing that is important now, during this crazy time period we're all living through, isn't cash, a fancy home, a fancy car, or a hot girlfriend or wife, rather, it's your ability to find a way to live through all this, in a happy, life-affirming manner. Or even just life-affirming. Everybody needs to go soul searching and see what they find, see what they need, see what they like, and dislike. And remember, nothing in this world is impossible.

In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix, "With the power of soul, anything is possible." 

My Name is Albert Ayler

My Name is Albert Ayler is a fantastic record, sounds of the new thing (I first heard that term from Amiri Baraka's book Black Music), as it appeared early in 1963. This is saxophonist Ayler's debut record, recorded in Copenhagen and first released on the Dutch Debut label. 

Personnel

• Albert Ayler - tenor saxophone (tracks 3-6), soprano saxophone (track 2), voice (track 1)
• Niels Brosted - piano (tracks 2-5)
• Niels-Henning Orsted Pedersen - bass (tracks 2-6)
• Ronnie Gardiner - drums (tracks 2-6

The album has only three stars on Allmusic but what does Allmusic know? The fact of the matter is that although the band of Europeans (the two Niels) and the one American (Ronnie) is quite the typical straight ahead band, what Ayler does over the usual jazz construct, is create his own sound, playing himself, and creating a wondrous lyrical blues, a shout, a cry, a whisper if you will. This seems to be a response to Coltrane, Ornette Coleman, similar to Archie Shepp and Pharaoh Sanders, other great sax players of that revolutionary musical era. Its great that he went to Europe to play free jazz because his fame wouldn't have gone as far if he stayed in America.

What makes the record especially engaging for me is that well, I love jazz standards. I've heard most of the standards way more than a few times so when he plays all these tunes there's a certain legendary aura to them. I know all the melodies, all the chord changes, and when he plays what is unexpected I get quite a kick out of it, he's playing the standards we all (jazz fans) know but ultimately doing something different with them. That's the genius of this record. 

The Tunes
Bye Bye Blackbird
Billie's Bounce
Summertime 
On Green Dolphin Street 
C.T. (Ayler composition) 

On quite a few of these tunes a typical jazz fan who knows all these standards might say, "Well, this is a good band but the saxophonist isn't really playing the melody." In fact, what Ayler does on a lot of these tunes is use the basic harmonic framework (chords) for the tunes for improvisation of his own melodies, playing himself. His harmonies speak for themselves, sometimes shrill, a cry, this is what Baraka means when he says that free jazz is only spectacular when it stays close to its blues roots and doesn't get all intellectual. Of course I disagree because a lot of my free jazz heroes (The Art Ensemble of Chicago and other AACM musicians) are quite intellectual, even to the point of studying modern classical composers, serialism, etc. 

In a way you can only see the genius of this record is you're a free jazz acolyte. My favorite tune here is Billie's Bounce, a Charlie Parker tour de force. Even I know the head (main theme) to this tune on guitar. Here Ayler gets more straight ahead, and you can see the John Coltrane influence in his sheets of sound, long winded riffs played very fast. Its quite stunning.

As much as I like Bille's Bounce here the number one tune here would have to be Summertime, the Gershwin classic. The opening is such a blues, a wail.  I can assure you you've never heard Summertime like this before. Its a haunting, shrill cry of a saxophone sound. It sticks with you once you hear it. This is the blues. 

Another tune I dug very much was On Green Dolphin Street. I've heard this tune a million times and it always delivers with its driving melody. Here Ayler goes to Mars, almost like Coltrane's latest period stuff, he mixes 50s, early 60s style bebop phrasing with the new thing. Its my cup of tea. This particular tracks reminds me of Eric Dolphy a lot. Some of Ayler's phrasing doesn't even sound human, it sounds like an animal, like a bird, with the rhythms of frogs jumping in and out of pond.  

The Ayler original is pure free jazz at its best. No melody, no theme, mostly just call and response from the musicians. Given that this was his first original tune on a record, I would say its quite a great introduction to his music. This is where some people would scratch their heads and say,"What?"  In a way you either get it or you don't. For most jazz fans there is a fine line between straight ahead jazz and free jazz. In 1963 that line was very much quite apparent.

The rhythm section on the record is quite good. They play in a typical 1963 jazz fashion. It wasn't until later when Ayler teamed up with American musicians like Sonny Murray, Milford Graves, and Gary Peacock, that he started to develop more of the free jazz thing with a rhythm section that was more hip to his personal sound. But what can I say? These Europeans did a great job playing with an innovator. The drummer keeps time throughout the album. 

I recommend this album to anyone interested in the so-called new thing or free jazz. Or if you like Albert Ayler and never heard this particular record. Its on YouTube, and its quite good.