My Last Words

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I don't mean to alarm anyone with a post entitled "My Last Words," no this isn't the end of the blog, nor is it a manifesto [although I'd love to write a manifesto one day]. Rather, this is a dialogue on a what-if. 


Okay, so we all know that COVID-19 is stronger than ever. Six months in, there's no end in sight. I'm still working at my retail gig I've worked for seven years now. There's no real protection from the virus there, and there are no limits on how many customers can be inside the store at any one time. At this current juncture, it isn't if I catch the virus, but when. And at that point, if I'm not so lucky, what then? 

In the event of premature death, here it is...my last words. 

I've lived a good life. In fact, I've already lived my dream. My dream was to live and work in California, enjoy the sun, and play guitar. I've already achieved that and have been very happy with my life in the last ten years or so.

The beginning was a lot rougher but you live and learn. Not everyone is dealt a good hand in life, rather, you are given what you are given and you are expected to learn to thrive no matter what. I would say I've done pretty well in life. I'm black, I'm not street, and have never been to jail.

My family played an important role throughout my life and still does. What I always underestimated in my life was the importance of my friends and acquaintances around me. Without them, I would have struggled much more in life. I would have suffered from loneliness. Thanks to my friends I've never really experienced loneliness.

In terms of goals and dreams, I'm not quite sure if that will still be happening under the pandemic. Sure, we could get better jobs and make a little more cash, but at what cost? I'm proud to be working during the pandemic and to have a job. My dreams of being a musician have been cast to the wind. I'll probably never play an open mic again, at least until COVID is over, which could be in years, who knows?

I have other goals that I work towards. Like my writing, for example. Let my writing speak for itself. The blog has been going strong for seven years and I've got nearly 700 posts, all on various subjects like music, novels, movies, games, ideas, and everyday life. I worked hard on writing fiction and I had a pipedream about becoming a fiction writer but at this point, I just do it for the hell of it. Publishers be damned.

I've had like one or two big epiphanies about life [that I wrote about on here in the back track] that really mellowed me out and made me see reality in a much different and better lens. Those were good and life-affirming. But the hardest thing to do is keep pushing through in life constantly when nobody is there rooting for you or fighting for you. That's when you truly see how alone you really are in this world despite the fact that we're all in this together.  

I believe that the only thing that is important now, during this crazy time period we're all living through, isn't cash, a fancy home, a fancy car, or a hot girlfriend or wife, rather, it's your ability to find a way to live through all this, in a happy, life-affirming manner. Or even just life-affirming. Everybody needs to go soul searching and see what they find, see what they need, see what they like, and dislike. And remember, nothing in this world is impossible.

In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix, "With the power of soul, anything is possible."