Holiday Retail 2022

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, 

It's been a while since I wrote one of these. Here I'd like to explain to you what it's been like working the retail gig this holiday season. 

First, the work has been intense and nonstop. I've been working 42-48 hour weeks since November and the work isn't letting up even going into this week and Christmas week. The good news is that the pay is decent but it's tough making it through the slog every shift. I've been working five days per week with only two days off since the summer. 

Second, cold/flu and covid season is here again, and with that brings sicknesses, mostly of a respiratory nature. For the first time since covid began in 2020, I finally got a regular cold. It only lasted a day or two but it was setback from my usual day to day routine. I still went to work as I felt well enough, but I probably initially got sick from work, from customers and/or employees. 

Third, my job has become easier but its still grueling. I've sort of graduated from having to do regular checkout scanning large orders. Rather, my management has decided they want me to run self-checkout for my eight hour shifts, as its mostly machine button pressing menu, and the older cashier employees who aren't used to computers don't want to do it at all. So I sort of lucked out. Because the older employees don't want to do it, I end up doing it, and I get to avoid doing all the heavy lifting $400-$600 holiday orders and bagging a million bags. Not too shabby! 

Fourth, the type of employees that get hired and stay on the job has diminished immensely. Right now, they want anyone they can because they need cashiers. So they hire them and immediately promote them to cashier. The problem is that none of them stay. There are two other young people my age, two girls, who are very good cashiers but all of the other young people are baggers or other positions that work menial side jobs in other departments. A lot of them are special needs and the regular ones seem to have a lot of behavioral issues. I've had to learn how to talk to these kids in a certain type of way to get them on my side and help me out. Not ideal to getting the job done everyday! 

Fifth, management seems to be good this year at getting the job done. But they have done a horrible job in encouraging mask wearing so oftentimes the youth get sick easily and spread it around so that's concerning. My main problem with the management is that since day one in 2020 they weren't enforcing mask wearing either by customers or employees. That has been a problem since the early days of covid. The actual boss and co-director never wear masks and have had covid already several times. They probably spread it. One of the sales managers has had covid several times as well. I keep my mask on and keep my distance from all of them for my own safety. They all have failed horribly on this one simple task. 

Lastly, the job has become more machine-like. You really get a sense that you're a cog in the machine in there nowadays. The upper management lack empathy, but you also see it at the lower management level as well as from the customers, that that's expected from customers at this point in the game. You have to really dig deep to see empathy and compassion from others there nowadays, but it is still there in small doses here and there. It's not the worst place in the world, but you can sort of see that one day this entire operation, this job will eventually become obsolete if replaced by machines. The self-checkout tells me that everyday. 

All that being said, my personal life is quite magisterial. I learned how to play piano, sing better, and drums. I can speak Spanish pretty well now, as well as a little French, Italian, German, and even Portuguese. I'm still reading the western canon and loving every minute of it. C'est la vie. 

Happy Holidays!

image ai generated 

verändert sich durch Sein und Zeit

Gute Abend, 

Things are changing so much and so rapidly it's almost as if time itself is a blur. In the blink of an eye, we are born, we grow, we live, and we die. 

Mortality and fate are intertwined, although the moderns have never been able to quite explain or understand it no matter how far they get in doing so. The Ancients had an easier way of trying to understand it, but they too failed in this fundamentally human question. 

I've lived in Los Angeles for ten years, have had a great life, made some friends, partied and chilled with a lot of people, became a better musician, and even became a part of these rock and roll after hours parties by playing Hendrix for drunkards and druggies. 

Life is good. But fundamentally I realize I'm right back where I started when I first got here. Trying to make it in Los Angeles through music, my own wits, and whatever talents I may have in any other areas. It's rough. It's rough for anybody out here. 

The pandemic made life for a lot of people much worse. Their children have become stay-at-home malcontents that can't handle working, or worse, they just do drugs and alcohol and have no hope of ever succeeding in life, let alone holding onto a job without switching every 2-4 years. 

There are new strains of corona out there and there's more of the threat of respiratory diseases for infants and young children. Politics have become embroiled and republicans are content to make fun of Pelosi's husband pretty much getting murdered. 

To be alive in the bitter sea. 

What's a guy to do?

Run the changes again. 

Play the same old song but in a different way. In order to live in this decline of western civilization, you must learn to find a new way to live. 

For everyone, this will mean something different. For me, I had to learn to stay away from problem people and their problems, and stay focused on my job, music, reading, eating better and losing weight, and maintaining, making, and improving relationships. None of it is easy. In fact, it' grueling and mind-numbing. 

For years and years I used to be content to sit in my room and play video games, not caring about anything going on outside my window. Then the pandemic kicked in and somehow I became more serious. I realized how fickle life can be. 

I started taking music more seriously, deeply trying to understand everything I read, rather than just reading for pleasure. I started learning languages like Spanish, French, Italian, German, and Portuguese. I learned how to play jazz guitar so I could get out of my rock guitar virtuoso lizard brain. I started playing piano and drums and even singing. I even did a lot of open mics where I was playing electric guitar plugged into a PA, and singing along to my guitar. Scary! 

Today, I took the bus to guitar center and bought a pair of drum brushes, brushes, used to play more mellow soulful jazz patterns and ballads, even swing.

So there you go. Find your way to live. The meaning of life is that it is meant to be lived. 

You got this. 

[photo is ai generated, created with stable diffusion, android playing jazz saxophone] 

John Lennon: It can't get much worse [Covid 2022]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was covid times during the second month of 2022. Here I thought I'd jot down some notes on what life's been like during this stage of the pandemic, two years running, with no end in sight. 

Okay, so for starters, if you haven't kept up to date on my writings about what retail grocery has been like, be sure to go back and read this most recent most on the subject, here. Thumbs up if you have a thing for the common working class man like myself. 

There's a deep sense of animosity at this point in the pandemic. Americans are more divisive than ever. Customers want to fight me at the checkout line for almost anything nowadays. My most trusted friends, family, and associates are all in the dull drums, saying that they're owed much more in this world. That their jobs, their social circles, their vast quality of "stuff," isn't good enough, and that things are quote, "shitty,". Well, to play up to the satire, "was their whole lives anything else but that?" 

But let's be kind. But no, seriously, none of the people I associate with have really been heavily impacted upon by the pandemic. Rather, almost all of them has flourished and seem to be in perfect health. Oh, fancy that! 

But there seems to be this endless dread going on everywhere around me. It's possible that these people simply aren't happy, they simply lack the capacity for happiness, or the satirist in me will sometimes go on to believe that it could simply be a ruse or charade, one meant to simply fit in and be conformist. Hey, everybody's miserable, I should pretend to be miserable like them to see if they like me more! Misery loves company! I'm a miserables! I like to believe I haven't lost my sense of humor out of these some 700 posts. 

Things are getting better all the time. My life is awash with high culture: music, books, nature, good health, good demeanor, and general happiness and well being. Now, I'm not a guy who's particularly rich in anything in particular, except possibly a capacity for happiness. So what's wrong with all these other people? Well you know what Sartre says about that. "Hell is other people."

Covid America has taken on a sly fake sardonic smile. Every customer at the checkout line has become a hooligan. Even some of my friends, coworkers, and associates have become hooligans. In a world where everybody says everything "sucks," or its "shitty," how can you stay cool and level headed when the world outside your house is super negative and shitty themselves? I think they're probably out to lunch [Frank Zappa]. 

In other news I've been reading Orlando Innamorato. A classic romance knight errantry story from Italy during the 16th century. I happened to read Ariosto's Orlando Furioso, which is the sequel to Orlando Innamorato. I liked it so much I decided to back and read the first installment, written by Matteo Maria Boiardo. And tonight a customer from work is donating to me a Fender Stratocaster guitar. Oh, happy day! 

But now I've come to the end of this story. A new tale awaits in the next coming days. Watch this space, eight days a week! 

Thanksgiving Covid 2.0

Whew! Wow! We made it past Thanksgiving! 

Retail work at the grocery job during Thanksgiving Covid 2.0 was intense. Out of all my years at the company since 2013, this was the hardest Thanksgiving that I've ever worked since I started working retail back in 2009 back home. What made it so different from every other year? Not enough staff, not enough baggers, management constantly mismanaging employee breaks, no social distancing, no limit or cap on number of customers or any of the items they buy. In short, it was a circus show. But that's okay, that's life, that's work. But is it though? Is it something we, as workers have to become accustomed to? 

Covid has unquestionably made an eternal impact upon the world of retail grocery. It cannot go back to the way it was before-albeit still poorly mismanaged by upper and lower management, but Covid has unveiled something much more menacing-the dark heart of human nature in the workplace. I can always take time to look at what's truly there but hidden, the dark side of human nature.  

As bad as Covid in the workplace has been for us at my store, what has arguably become much worse is the attitude and mentality of customers, and lower and upper management. I've increasingly seen over these some ten years that they are the ones hurting the employees the most. 

Now that Covid has been raging for two years, the customers at my store have become more unruly than ever. This might be the height of American retail ignorance, the worst I've ever seen. They aren't willing to listen or take other considerations, instead their go to is to become aggressive and/or start yelling like a child when they don't get what they want. 

On the opposite spectrum lower and upper management have become so cold to employees to the point where it's become obvious that they don't give a shit about what's going on, what's really going on behind the scenes. They aren't ignorant, rather they're negligent, unforgiving, and just generally don't care. 

I work for the Local Union 770 and I can tell you this much, our union doesn't do much to help the morale of the average UFCW worker. These employees are left to fend for themselves, fighting for scraps of whatever little hours they can get per week. The sad irony is that in the past these jobs used to count for something because they were reliable and were supported by a much stronger more influential union. What we have today is a shell of that stable job and strong influential union. However, I must admit that I'm pro labor union and pro employees despite what may be written here. 

Going back to this Thanksgiving week. This has been one of the most brutal holiday work experiences in my lifetime. During the first year of Covid it wasn't this bad. Which goes to our original question, how did things deteriorate to this level? The easy quick answer is antipathy, utter lack of care from management, which begs the question, will work become a lesser entity within our lives as Covid progresses through its many stages and mutations? Will work not even matter at some point? Will money become a much more valuable commodity because less people will be working and/or quit working these types of jobs? In the end if everybody stops caring about work, will the quality of work and jobs in the different fields naturally deteriorate to a low base level? 

The value of work and labor is up for grabs. When you see the working conditions at my store you will very easily be able to understand why most of the staff have quit, why they can't get people to stay at the store and continue to work for very long, in essence why they can't pay someone enough to even care about anything that goes on there. They can't pay them enough to even care. 

Which makes it very easy to see why record numbers of Americans quit their jobs in October. In addition, even office workers are getting fed up because under Covid conditions they're expected to be on the clock 24/7, even installing apps on their phones so that their upper management can keep tabs on them and force them to keep undergoing training modules. 

Is this the future of labor in America? If so, America has ultimately failed its citizens and my entire generation. It's no wonder that Americans have become fools, getting wasted on alcohol, drugs, wild parties, hazing, fast cars and fast women, growing fat off the bourgeois comforts of America, not caring about their jobs or quality of work, only to realize that the abyss is staring at them in the morning as they head off to work or clock in at home. 

Hegel's Phenomenology of Spirit

Spirit is Artist. Hegel describes daesein and spirit. Difficult but not if you've already read Kant, Wittgenstein, and Heidegger. The world is what it is, this being the case, Hegel is a true philosopher of dialectic. This is one of the most interesting philosophical works.

My Last Words

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I don't mean to alarm anyone with a post entitled "My Last Words," no this isn't the end of the blog, nor is it a manifesto [although I'd love to write a manifesto one day]. Rather, this is a dialogue on a what-if. 


Okay, so we all know that COVID-19 is stronger than ever. Six months in, there's no end in sight. I'm still working at my retail gig I've worked for seven years now. There's no real protection from the virus there, and there are no limits on how many customers can be inside the store at any one time. At this current juncture, it isn't if I catch the virus, but when. And at that point, if I'm not so lucky, what then? 

In the event of premature death, here it is...my last words. 

I've lived a good life. In fact, I've already lived my dream. My dream was to live and work in California, enjoy the sun, and play guitar. I've already achieved that and have been very happy with my life in the last ten years or so.

The beginning was a lot rougher but you live and learn. Not everyone is dealt a good hand in life, rather, you are given what you are given and you are expected to learn to thrive no matter what. I would say I've done pretty well in life. I'm black, I'm not street, and have never been to jail.

My family played an important role throughout my life and still does. What I always underestimated in my life was the importance of my friends and acquaintances around me. Without them, I would have struggled much more in life. I would have suffered from loneliness. Thanks to my friends I've never really experienced loneliness.

In terms of goals and dreams, I'm not quite sure if that will still be happening under the pandemic. Sure, we could get better jobs and make a little more cash, but at what cost? I'm proud to be working during the pandemic and to have a job. My dreams of being a musician have been cast to the wind. I'll probably never play an open mic again, at least until COVID is over, which could be in years, who knows?

I have other goals that I work towards. Like my writing, for example. Let my writing speak for itself. The blog has been going strong for seven years and I've got nearly 700 posts, all on various subjects like music, novels, movies, games, ideas, and everyday life. I worked hard on writing fiction and I had a pipedream about becoming a fiction writer but at this point, I just do it for the hell of it. Publishers be damned.

I've had like one or two big epiphanies about life [that I wrote about on here in the back track] that really mellowed me out and made me see reality in a much different and better lens. Those were good and life-affirming. But the hardest thing to do is keep pushing through in life constantly when nobody is there rooting for you or fighting for you. That's when you truly see how alone you really are in this world despite the fact that we're all in this together.  

I believe that the only thing that is important now, during this crazy time period we're all living through, isn't cash, a fancy home, a fancy car, or a hot girlfriend or wife, rather, it's your ability to find a way to live through all this, in a happy, life-affirming manner. Or even just life-affirming. Everybody needs to go soul searching and see what they find, see what they need, see what they like, and dislike. And remember, nothing in this world is impossible.

In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix, "With the power of soul, anything is possible."