Holidays, End of 2025

Good evening, ladies and gents. I haven't written in a long time so I decided to take some time tonight to jot down some of my thoughts, ideas, activities on everything up to this moment in time-let's say the Holidays and the End of 2025. 

First, I'm glad 2025 is coming to a close. It's been rough for me, and more importantly, for America, and the world, as President Trump is pretty much taking an axe to The Constitution, the Government, and Our Way of Life [in terms of affordability and health insurance/jobs]. I had a bad year, came out of a twelve-year job unemployed for some months, and luckily I was able to land something in the same year because for a while I wasn't sure where I was going to get a job, cash, or even a good hot meal that wasn't ramen with hot dogs. 

And here's the thing, there are many more Americans that were dealt much worse than what I went through. Yeah, I lost my job and had no income for a while, but there are others with families who lost their homes, their jobs, their cars, had to live in shelters or their cars [or warehouses], and are still unable to get into a job. Also, consider the number of people who lost their homes in the Palisades Fire [here in CA]. So yeah, it hasn't been a cakewalk for pretty much every American citizen this year. I know for me personally, this has been the hardest year of my existence out here in California. 

I know for myself personally, I've had to go into hibernation mode and not really go out to too many places or spend too much cash. I only really go to restaurants when I'm spending cash. I haven't been out to the bar or a concert for a year straight. It's a bit like covid 2.0. My new job is okay but they only have limited hours but the volume of work is vast and unwieldy for anyone working there. The work itself isn't hard but the volume is difficult to deal with. This job has drastically changed from the summer up to now, vast changes that have made the work much harder, but I've been hammering through with it, because I know that there aren't really too many other jobs available at this time, and maybe not for months, if not years, especially with this current Administration.

As a result, going into 2026, it doesn't exactly feel great, for me personally, and for all of us Americans. I spent the entire year trying to catch up in terms of my finances and now I'm just barely catching up. And like I said, I think its worse for other Americans with more assets who have families, cars, houses, rent, upkeep, etc. The holidays didn't feel festive this year. My family didn't do gifts at all this year but that's not why it wasn't festive. It wasn't festive because everything has become  much more difficult and we notice it much more often nowadays, everything is out of control in terms of affordability, and things like health insurance might be impossible to get without getting it at a good company job. Like I said, its good to say goodbye to 2025, it was a bad year for our country, for us as Americans, and the word affordability is not a hoax. 

Second, I've been trying to wholly inrich my personal life with lots of literature because otherwise, what's a boy to do? I've been reading a lot and listening to a lot of music-mostly jazz livestreams from a nyc jazz club and a bit of classical like Mozart arias and Bach. I tend to think that without the reading and music my life wouldn't be quite so fun and engrossing. I read 49 books this year, the last book being Charles Dickens, a title called Hard Times, about people living in a lumber mill town. It's dark and gritty but doesn't quite have the strong influential characteristic Dickens voice of say A Tale of Two Cities or David Copperfield, yet it was great. This is an important part. Even when I was at my darkest points this year with little cash, I was still reading, still listening to music, still practicing music, still going to the library. I think that's what kept me resilient, even after going through one of the harder darker chapters of my life out here in California. At one point when it seemed like I wasn't going to find work, I thought about leaving California and moving back to the Midwest, where I'm originally from. But theoretically, it would be difficult to find a job there too, as its a much smaller pool with a lot less resources. You can't really win in terms of the job market right now. And what's crazy is that lots of people I know personally are struggling with work-getting fired, getting laid off, not able to get unemployment, struggling to find another job, forced to work a job that they're overqualified for just to pay rent, etc. The struggle is real right now folks. 

Third, here's a Christmas Eve story for you. I was working my new thrift shop job on Christmas Eve and there was this homeless lady yelling in the front patio area to the side of the front door of our place. A guy was riding his bike past her and she ran and threw him off the bike. He may or may not have been hurt, I didn't really see the full impact of the fall from the cashier stand. 

But he jumped on the homeless women, and beat the crap out of her with his fists pretty hard. He got in maybe 6-7 hard swings on her face, even pushing her down on top of a car while swinging at her. A man from inside my work ran outside and got between them to break up the brawl. The homeless lady sort of came to her senses after that. But Jesus Almighty, what possessed her to tackle a man off his bike? 

I don't condone the man's behavior but you have to admit, if some random lady threw you off your bike, and you were injured, you would probably want to take a few punches to her face, like he did. It was a pretty crazy incident. My co-worker called the cops but they didn't show up. The lady chilled outside for a long time and came inside the store, and just looked around for a bit, bought some clothing, and left. 

I tell this story online as a warning to people who work in stores and retail. At my place I was the only one there after a bit so there's not much I could do. Sometimes when you're dealing with these types of issues you don't want to get involved, especially if you're alone, but sometimes you're going to have to develop psychological tactics in order to deal with this sort of stuff. So when the lady came in I acknowledged her and made her feel welcome but also made her aware that I was there kind of watching. So yeah, that was my Christmas Eve...lol. 

Lastly, I think more and more, I'm beginning to realize that most of the content online in terms of social media, news media, even information from real friends on social media and irl, most information from people you know from your past, now, online, or irl [in real life], I'm beginning to notice that a lot of it is negative based doomer-maxxing sort of content/information. For example, yesterday, I was at the library reading the news and after maybe an hour of reading it, I just felt sick to my stomach, like it was just such awful information to absorb and take in, albeit it may have been important information like about how we were going to rain this week and stuff, although that was one of the less disturbing news even though it sometimes brings mudslides and floods. 

For example, just think about the people you know, knew, work with now/past, family, friends, co-workers, management, a lot of them are telling you some really bad stuff. For example, this might not be the best example, but I remember there were a few girls I was sort of infatuated with even though they didn't really have such nice or great personalities, but I just liked them, and I noticed in a lot of long conversations irl or online, they would often say some messed up stuff to me about myself, my personality, or how I'm too-this or too-that or that's why people don't like me, some kind of messed up doomer-maxxing type stuff. 

This was like a few girls I was in talking stages with. And then I thought maybe I'm the problem? Until I realized that wasn't actually the case, that in actuality everyone's different, and everyone's capable of being an asshole, even when you think they're a pretty girl and should have a nice perky personality. It took me a bit to really understand that. Even girls can be assholes too. I usually prefer to talk to girls and women. Hard lesson on that one, lol. 

Another example of this kind of bad stuff you hear from others is from your management at work. Hardly ever does the Manager or Boss tell you you're doing good, keep it up, and keep bringing the A-Game. Instead, you hear them nagging you, saying you're not doing this, you're not doing that, etc. They're telling you to do it their way and they're changing it all the time and then they're getting mad that you're not getting it, even though they keep changing everything. Another example is family. Family will always be there to tell you you aren't doing enough, you're not good enough, you should do this or you should do that, and then when you try something new they'll tell you, 'you can't be that.' 

In conclusion, I guess the reasons why I'm going into this sort doomer-maxxing type stuff topic is because I notice that this current paradigm of human history is mostly just that. As we go into 2026, you'll begin to realize that genuine people who are good, happy, and have the capacity for happiness have become fewer and fewer in number and you don't really see them in the big crowds or the club or the bar anymore. Maybe you'll only see them online in a post here and there. 

I feel like something has changed. And maybe its not, maybe its not even them, but perhaps just our society as a whole has sort of gone down the drain? You don't wanna go around blaming people even if they are unhappy saps or a-holes or lack a good personality, but after a certain while, if you're one of the good ones, then you're going to have to realize that you and them won't be compatible for long. 

This is a hard lesson for the die-hard good people out there, you know if you know. That girl you liked that called you out numerous times, yeah she's a rotten apple lol. That co-worker that you get along with but who complains to you 24/7, yeah you probably aren't good with that person in the long run. That management that ratted you out and got you fired, yeah there's a special place in hell for that guy. LOL, you get the picture. In a Matrix where everyone is doomer-maaxing/scrolling and complaining about every element of their life, be the child who has his own. 

If you don't hear back from me soon, happy new year! 

New Horizons, Incoming Labor Day Weekend

 

Hello world. How are you doing? It seems like the world has changed so much since even the last post early this month about the novel Three Body Problem. I was reading a lot of novels nonstop. In fact, this year, since January, I've read 25 novels. In addition, I've started using ChatGPT consistently. I try not to  use it as a crutch for writing and/or actual ideas I have but rather as a sort of backup/double check on certain things. 

For example, today my friend came over and was having an issue connecting his laptop to the internet web browser, and I asked it a few questions about possible fixes and troubleshooting. I also use it for questions about novels and albums of particular jazz artists and Zappa albums. It's gotten to the point where I'm using it more than google, which is downright fascinating but I'm aware that I'm becoming attached to it a bit too much. For example, I wouldn't want to use ChatGPT to write this blog post. That would be a bridge too far. 

Moving on, what I'm mainly posting about today is more about a change of seasons. I moved on from my retail grocery job of twelve years and am now working at a thrift shop. It's not a glamorous job but it is a big change and there is room for advancement into management in the future. Pay is what the market will bear but the hours are reasonable and usually I get home around 9 pm. That is a huge plus for me because at the grocery job I was working till 1 am nearly every night for twelve years. So there's some good change here. 

In addition, the place is small, only has a few employees [but will be hiring more soon], and you answer to one main manager, and another bigger manager above him. My coworkers are very nice and they've done their best to train me my first two weeks so far. There's still certain things I need to go over and really get down better but overall I really like the work. There's a cashiering element to the job but it's not as intense as grocery store cashiering. There's a daily nightly report that gets emailed to the bigger manager that I have to learn to write faster and get down better. But overall, it's a job, with opportunities for advancement, and because it's not a glamorous job, I think there's safety there. 

Also, I think I lucked out with this job because right now the job market is cooked, as Gen Z says. There was a report in the nytimes about how this past month, in New York there was only 1,000 jobs added, which is insane, because I think there are more people in New York than in LA, so we're probably not doing too well with adding and filling jobs in LA either. 

Moving on, I got laid off from my grocery store job back in January, around the beginning of that month. Keep in mind that I didn't quit or want to leave. They sort of forced me out, a sort of forced being laid off. So I've been unemployed for seven months. It was a rough period. I would say it was second worst time of my entire life. I went through a lot of severe depression and had constant nightmares. For about three of those months I could barely get out of bed.

My daily routine consisted of getting up as early as I could, cleaning up, looking/applying to jobs online, going to places in person and handing out my resume and asking if they're hiring [which most managers didn't really appreciate], and getting tons of rejection emails. Out of about 65 jobs, [15-20 of them being the same job applied to more than once over a period of a couple months], I got four job interviews, went to three of them, and got the fourth one at this thrift store. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to stay in retail grocery because that's my primary job experience but it just didn't work out. In fact, the first three interviews were all at grocery stores, and I think I would've been a bit happier at a grocery store but again, it didn't work out. So this is the next step going forwards. 

Lastly, as the job market, economy, government, immigration system, and healthcare system collapse all around me, all I have to say is that as bad as those seven months being unemployed were, it actual wasn't as bad as it could've been. I had some savings to buy food and live on. I've spent a lot of money on that and want to replenish some of my savings with this new job. But more importantly than saving money or having money, I think right now just having a job is more important than ever. 

I don't want to be all about doom and gloom but the system is collapsing. It has been for a while but most people are in denial about it and the government/news never say that we're in a bad depression right now. I think its a lot worse than it looks. There was a shooting at a Catholic school yesterday that ended with the loss of two young lives, that shook the nation. I don't think it will get better and I don't think there will be gun reform as a result of this incident. 

In the worst of my moments being unemployed I seriously thought about giving up my groovy lifestyle in California to go back to the Midwest and live with my Mom, and help her out, especially now that she's getting older. With the way things are going for me here, I still might do that in the end. I've found that people I knew and know here in California were nice people at the time and we might have been friends for a while, but not every friendship lasts. I happen to think that the friends I made out here in California are much more narcissistic than my friends from the Midwest. Not only friends but a lot of managers at the retail grocery job were narcissistic as well. It kind of makes you wonder if there's something in the air here in California? 

Watch this space.    

How To Really Listen

Brainstorming some ideas on what subject to write upon tonight brought me to this simple idea: How do you really listen? How do you listen to music? How do you listen to people?

The idea came to me when I was listening to some Vivaldi just now. By the way, I love baroque music, especially Vivaldi, and the Four Seasons piece. Those fast violins burn and shred hard.

First, I'll share my thoughts about how to listen to music and then how to listen to people after.

I can hear the grass grow.

So first of all, these are simply my ideas on what's best. What might be right for me might not be your cup of tea. That being said, the best way to listen to music is by listening to music with a good pair of headphones or speakers. Headphones are the best. Then, make sure you have EQ bars that have predefined presets so you can always put the music's tone on a good sound easily without messing around too much.

The next step is critical. When you listen to music, only listen to the music. Don't scroll through Facebook, don't read the news, don't read random articles, don't talk. The only way you can truly respect and enjoy the music is by giving it your full, undivided attention. So when I started writing this blog I turned off the music and put down my headphones. Why? Because you have to give the task at hand your full, undivided attention, for that is the only way you can truly enjoy it and give it the credit it deserves. Think of all the people who mindlessly do one thing while doing another. They can't really get the benefit of doing the one thing because they're doing another, they're doing themselves a disservice. 

In addition, it should be added that you must listen not only to the lyrics of the singer [most of you listen to bands with singers] but you must also learn to isolate the sounds of the bass, guitar, drums, and keyboards. Likewise, if you're a big classical connoisseur like myself, you must learn to recognize the chords/melodies, the chords/melodies of the brass, the chords/melodies of the strings, etc. Once you can recognize the melodies and chords coming from all the different instruments, then you can truly enjoy it. If you just sit there and mindlessly listen without putting all of this into consideration, it's sort of empty and soulless. Sure, you might be able to pick out a simple melody here or there, but only if the song hits you over the head with it. You have to learn to isolate chords and melodies, no matter how cluttered the sound is. That's where things get difficult, especially when you're a musician trying to learn a new song on the guitar, or a classical musician trying to learn to play in a huge orchestra. By the time you can figure out how to do all this, your ear will become trained; you'll be able to recognize intervals, chords, melodies, rhythms, scales, modes, all of it, and your appreciation for music will go through the roof. If you can't do this stuff mentioned here then your ear will always be mediocre and although you'll enjoy a good beat or riff here or there, you'll never get to that full music appreciation. It's like a guitar player who only plays power chords. If you've never played a jazz or a classical chord then you haven't done your homework. Essentially, you'll always be a rookie.

You say yes, I say no.

So you've done all the above and you can fully appreciate AND enjoy music. Congrats! That's all super hard work and it takes a lifetime to really enjoy and master, musician or not. Always remember that the people who listen to music as background noise can't appreciate and enjoy the music the same way you do, they will always lack that special something, the secret sauce so to speak; you're a seasoned connoisseur now.

Now you apply your listening skills from music to listening to people, listening to words. Reading helps a lot with this but that's for another blog. The white noise that can bleed into your auditory senses will always be there whether its background music inside your work, cars driving by, other people talking, even the wind blowing will be noticeable to your ears, even thoughts in your own head can clutter sound. You have to isolate the sound the same way you isolate the sound when you listen to music. Some people are low note baritone talkers, others are midrange brass, others are more of high violin notes. Identifying, clarifying, and isolating their voices will be key.

One of the interesting things that will occur once you're at this stage is that you will begin to hear a lot more; more of everything. A lot of people talk to themselves, say something meant just for themselves, and you'll even pick up these things too. It's not really that important but it's a behavioral tick that a lot of people have. Other times people will blatantly say something really quiet but is meant for you to hear. For example, perhaps a cute girl wants to give you a compliment but is a little shy? Or how about a passive-aggressive comment from someone you pissed off somehow. There's always something. Hell, you'll even realize that sometimes people whisper random stuff. Weird, I know. But you'll pick it up along the way.  

The most important thing is that you're there listening. It isn't really that important what you say. If you're around people that genuinely like you, it never matters what you say, only that you listen. You can choose to listen in a passive way, almost like your not even there, or you can be more outgoing and create exchanges of sentences with people, either method works. The most important thing is to try not to interrupt someone when they're talking. If you miss some things, hey, nobody is perfect. Listening to people is very similar to listening to music; it's all ear training, recognition, call, and response. Essentially all it is is language games, even music is just that to some extent. Next thing you know you'll be able to transcribe your nervous exchange with the hottest girl you've seen all week. Or that frantic police squad car/helicopter chase down the freeway going 100 miles per hour.

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

August Update

Hello, everybody. I thought I'd write down a what's up post. I haven't been writing for some time now and perhaps just writing anything can get my back into the groove of things. So what's up?

I've been still doing my retail gig at the market. They took away our hazard pay after only 2 months but supposedly our union is trying to get it reinstated. I still can't believe that they took it away when COVID has only got worse. Keep in mind that the company is a million-dollar organization. How's that for a big fuck you to your employees? Jokes aside, I really do hope they reinstate the hazard pay. It's only an additional $2 an hour but every little bit helps. They also need to stop kicking their workers in the balls. 

Nevermind the fact that our chances of catching COVID are still super high there. Nobody cleans anything, not that I blame them. The customers are at a super high risk of catching COVID there too because nobody cleans anything. They could probably get it from touching the payment pinpad. The customers leave their masks and gloves in the carts for other customers to be surprised by when they grab the carts. Sometimes my community disgusts me. In a way, it's brought out the real me. You see, about 90% of the customers treat me like human garbage there, while maybe only about 10% treats me like a human being. I have to treat them accordingly if you get my drift.

For the last three months, I got switched to morning shifts. It was a big deal and I wasn't fond of it but I got used to it and enjoyed the free time at night to hang out with friends and family. Well, now I'm back to my usual night shift, which I've been doing for the last couple of years. It's not fun but I'm used to it. And after working mornings for the last couple of months, I actually miss the mornings, the morning coworkers, the better preparation, the extra help. Everything's easier during the morning and daytime when everybody is there. When you have a full staff to run things, you get a lot more done. At night our managers don't give us enough personnel to get everything done. So consequently, not much gets done. 

I've been using my nights to relax and smell the coffee. I'm trying to find a new way to live during COVID. It's very difficult and stressful at times. My job has become a lot more stressful and more of the customers are assholes all the time now. Them not being able to go out and party, on top of not having work, or having their kids at school, it's set them off. They're driving me and my coworkers crazy. This is not a good time for retail or any kind of store operation. If you have to go into a store, treat the workers really well. At the beginning of the pandemic, they were heroes, now the customers are treating them like shit. 

I spend most of my time reading books on my Kindle or on YouTube, where I can listen to my precious music, quite possibly the only thing keeping me going at the moment. My friends are there for me but they can't be there all the time. And I don't want to bother my family too much, I feel like I've been a burden to them. I realize I need to eventually spread my painted bird wings and fly out of the nest. Perhaps when this whole virus thing ends once and for all. 

I've been thinking about moving in somewhere with some roommates. Or with closer friends. Or perhaps joining a hippie commune somewhere? That would be like the ultimate hippie move and I would perhaps even be down to do it, provided my other plans in life don't work out the next few years or so. That would be so wild, born to be wild.

As you can tell, I've just been pretty stressed at the retail gig. But not only that. About a month or so ago, I sprained my right-hand pinkie, and playing the guitar isn't the same. It might be another month for it to completely heal IF it completely heals. If it doesn't heal, playing the guitar will never be the same. In a way, I've been super pissed ever since the day it happened, long story about that but I won't go into the excruciating details. But let's put it this way if you're a guitar player and you get a finger injury, the only thing you really have to say to everybody is, "go fuck yourself, fuck you." That sums it up perfectly.

But there's good news too. I've finished Livy's Early History of Rome and started reading Don Quixote again. Perhaps I'll finally get back to blogging about books again and albums. The whole lifestyle/rant blogging style has sort of run its course somewhat for the time being. Thanks for listening.

Enjoy your evening. 

My Last Words

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I don't mean to alarm anyone with a post entitled "My Last Words," no this isn't the end of the blog, nor is it a manifesto [although I'd love to write a manifesto one day]. Rather, this is a dialogue on a what-if. 


Okay, so we all know that COVID-19 is stronger than ever. Six months in, there's no end in sight. I'm still working at my retail gig I've worked for seven years now. There's no real protection from the virus there, and there are no limits on how many customers can be inside the store at any one time. At this current juncture, it isn't if I catch the virus, but when. And at that point, if I'm not so lucky, what then? 

In the event of premature death, here it is...my last words. 

I've lived a good life. In fact, I've already lived my dream. My dream was to live and work in California, enjoy the sun, and play guitar. I've already achieved that and have been very happy with my life in the last ten years or so.

The beginning was a lot rougher but you live and learn. Not everyone is dealt a good hand in life, rather, you are given what you are given and you are expected to learn to thrive no matter what. I would say I've done pretty well in life. I'm black, I'm not street, and have never been to jail.

My family played an important role throughout my life and still does. What I always underestimated in my life was the importance of my friends and acquaintances around me. Without them, I would have struggled much more in life. I would have suffered from loneliness. Thanks to my friends I've never really experienced loneliness.

In terms of goals and dreams, I'm not quite sure if that will still be happening under the pandemic. Sure, we could get better jobs and make a little more cash, but at what cost? I'm proud to be working during the pandemic and to have a job. My dreams of being a musician have been cast to the wind. I'll probably never play an open mic again, at least until COVID is over, which could be in years, who knows?

I have other goals that I work towards. Like my writing, for example. Let my writing speak for itself. The blog has been going strong for seven years and I've got nearly 700 posts, all on various subjects like music, novels, movies, games, ideas, and everyday life. I worked hard on writing fiction and I had a pipedream about becoming a fiction writer but at this point, I just do it for the hell of it. Publishers be damned.

I've had like one or two big epiphanies about life [that I wrote about on here in the back track] that really mellowed me out and made me see reality in a much different and better lens. Those were good and life-affirming. But the hardest thing to do is keep pushing through in life constantly when nobody is there rooting for you or fighting for you. That's when you truly see how alone you really are in this world despite the fact that we're all in this together.  

I believe that the only thing that is important now, during this crazy time period we're all living through, isn't cash, a fancy home, a fancy car, or a hot girlfriend or wife, rather, it's your ability to find a way to live through all this, in a happy, life-affirming manner. Or even just life-affirming. Everybody needs to go soul searching and see what they find, see what they need, see what they like, and dislike. And remember, nothing in this world is impossible.

In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix, "With the power of soul, anything is possible." 

How Social Media Propels and Fuels Our Ignorance

Social media is a godsend in today's day and age. Think about it this way. I'm not a paid gigging writer but because I write daily on here my ideas are shown to countless thousands of people. Without it, I don't know if I would still be doing the blog. Would it be worth it if nobody read my writing?

Social media is important. But there comes a time when we have to see it for what it is and realize that deep down, social media propels and fuels our ignorance.

I'm a smart guy. I work in retail where most of the workers and bosses aren't so smart. I'm a big fish in a small pond in that aspect. When I go online on Facebook and interact with countless friends, peers, or even acquaintances, it's like my job times a million. What I mean to say is that intelligence drops down and everything else turns up to eleven. You can now see my point clearly. 

The problem is that social media has become a cesspool for bots, scammers, provocateurs, and hackers. Some of these are very easy to spot, others much less so. Most people on Facebook go on there to have a good time; they see what's new with friends and family, they like a few posts, they may or may not post something themselves, and then they continue on with their lives. But other people, myself included, often spend a lot of time on Facebook, not really sure what we're looking for, but we know it when we get it, that shot of dopamine; oh somebody liked my stuff! 

Of course, that's only one way of seeing Facebook. The other side of Facebook that I'm seeing right now is a lot more sinister than what it was originally intended for. After the brutal murder video of George Floyd was shown on social media, it's clear to say that pretty much everyone has seen it. Unless you live under a rock. But it's already having a bad ripple effect. Now there are pictures and videos of white people posing with their knee on their friends' necks, smiling, in a mockery of the murder of George Floyd. 

On top of that, the nationwide protests have sowed much discord on social media. My friends are my friends. Meaning that most of them are well to do, college-educated, professional people who, although they've never been brutalized by a cop before, they stand in solidarity with black and brown people and support them in the cause for more rules and regulations to stop these murders of black and brown men by police officers. It's what you would expect. But, at the same time, I think that just agreeing to stand with black people in and of itself isn't a solution, rather it's almost like a pat on the back, "my people systematically destroyed your race, and I'm sorry, but this is the most I can do," I get it. We get it, white people, you realize that the white power structure is rigged against blacks and you're sorry for it. But there's only so much I can take of my white friends posting BLM memes. The truth is that to be a true ally of black people you have to go a much farther mile, one that most white people wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. You can't just protest right now and say, "I'm an honorary black man now." It doesn't work like that.  

So I've seen a lot of that. And I've also seen a lot from the alt-right and conservative side as well. Now, I don't have too many alt-right friends but I have many conservative friends who are older than me. In terms of the alt-right, I've seen a lot of political propaganda supporting Trump and justifying the brutalization by police to protesters. I see a lot of young people that are Trump supporters trolling the left in posts, asking them questions, about facts. When has Trump or his base ever cared about facts? The reality is that it is Trump's actions that warrant his removal from office. Although he never tells the facts either. He always lies about everything. "I didn't hide in that bunker from the protesters, I was inspecting the bunker, I inspect bunkers." 

As far as my older conservative friends go, I can sometimes see their point of view. They're business owners and some of them even protected their businesses with guns out on the streets where looting took place. They support Trump no matter what but some of them also think that there's no right or left, they're both corrupt, but for whatever reason they still support Trump. Most of these people are in their 40s/50s, they have money, and some of them are musicians. The musicians lean more heavily towards the libertarian idealogy like the 1970s never ended. 

When you interact with all of that going on, as a real, legitimate person, you see that's all rather a waste of your time and efforts unless you want to come to some sort of understanding. When someone takes the time to agree with you on something they just read it off for a second, either react to it or don't, and then leave it forever in a vacuum. The people that really interact the most are the provocateurs, the ones that want to rile you up, the internet trolls that the internet is based on.    

Not to mention the countless articles that are distributed on social media. This is what people construe as facts. But the sad reality is that most of the articles I see shared on social media aren't from fact worthy websites. In fact, they're from crappy websites run on the old javascript engine, where there are ads in the news articles. Has nobody on social media ever heard of the guardian, the LAtimes, the NYTimes, or the daily news? How about WSJ? Nope, I've hardly ever seen articles from any of those reputable periodicals. But I see plenty of news from Buzzfeed. Some from Slate and Politico. Those last two aren't bad but still.

The fact that people use these illegitimate sources to prove their points and to show off facts, shows that we live in an era where facts don't matter, as these sources often report fake news, false facts, like the President himself. It's like 24/7 Fox News. This is a grievous blow to the historical accuracy of this time period we're all living in and to real journalism, which still takes place sometimes by people like Rachel Maddow and the Washingtonpost staff journalists like Robert Costa, Phillip Ruecker, and Ashley Parker. 

Moving forward, I think we all have to be a lot smarter when using social media. Things have changed so drastically from 2016 to 2020. Remember, social media was used by Russian hackers to help get Trump elected. Is that the kind of election we want to continue to have in the future? So we have to be more vigilant in detecting falsehoods from shared articles, proving, or disproving facts. Not only does the article have to report the facts but they have to get every detail of the facts right otherwise their merit is diminished and supports their enemies. You got that?  

This is a difficult thing to write about. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who agree with me on this or have similar thoughts on the topic. Personally, I only log into Facebook a couple times a day. After checking it out for five minutes I log off. By logging off it forces me to reset and think about if I really want to go back again and for what purpose. The times have not been kind to social media. And although the movement of the protests has been spearheaded by social media, remember that it was the widespread sharing of the brutal murder that sparked all this unrest in the first place. There was an anti-lynching bill today. Well, that brutal murder video was a lynching for the entire world to see. The internet has become an angry mob, but to what purpose, only time will tell.  I'm hopeful that positive things can happen out of all this. 

Lastly, I want to conclude by saying that one of the problems with social media is that your friends agree with you and those that don't, well they aren't your friends and you unfriend them because they're Trump supporters, too far left, or too far right, and not centrist enough. That's why I actually like having conservatives on my friend's list because I don't want to only interact with people who agree with me. To understand the complexity of the situation, you have to sometimes put yourself in another person's shoes, so if I can see why this 40-year-old businessman supports Trump no matter what, maybe I can learn more about what makes him or her tick, and come to an understanding between us, between them and the left, and the world. It's all about understanding. Of course, I disagree with them but when I see their points they make in favor of or against certain issues, I can see the slips and cracks where their reasoning is faulty, and show them the reason why they're wrong, explaining it to them in a way that we don't have to fight or attack each other, but recognize each other as fellow Americans with the right to share and express our ideas.

Sometimes you're being attacked not because you're black but because you're the smartest guy in the room. Always have friends that are not just allies, but are as smart as, or smarter than yourself, you want more of those kinds of friends. This ensures that if you make a blunder, they can always swoop in and save the day, whether it be a workplace conflict, business, or even social media. Imagine you make a great point on a post, only to have your much dumber associate tarnish it with some inane comment? 

Covid And the Plague of Lighthouse Keepers

Hello, everybody. Back again, with more writing exercises and ideas. The last two posts were fairly genteel posts about how to be a great healer in competitive video games. I'd like to take a departure from that to talk about something substantially more serious. However, if you are a competitive gamer that plays Heroes of the Storm, Overwatch, or Team Fortress 2, I highly recommend reading those last two posts.

So, what I'd like to discuss here is a fairly simple idea that I've touched upon already in older posts from weeks ago; Despite the mass communication of the internet, COVID-19 has caused a major disruption in all of our lives, turning us into a plague of lighthouse keepers. 

There are already a lot of people in our communities that don't like to be around others. With COVID, they have an excuse to be even more distant and go even more into isolation than previously before. Here's the kicker; until COVID is dealt a grievous blow, we're stuck in this mode of humanity, which is terrible for our health, well being, and mental health. 

Next, I'd like to go into these details as they pertain to myself. I'm naturally a very outgoing extrovert that likes to be around others. I've been on a leave of absence to be safe and stay away from potential COVID spreaders for two months as I work retail. The only contact I have with people right now is when I talk to my family, when I text friends, when I direct message people on social media, or when I play online video games with voice chat or text chat. Because of all that COVID hasn't really affected me much, but it has impacted me enough for me to take notice and write my thoughts about it in a meaningful way.

You lose a sense of community and mental well being when you're not around people and start spending almost all of your time alone. I'm actually really looking forward to going back to work in June not because I need more money [thank God], but because I'm used to a certain amount of screentime with others, engaging in conversation, and being acknowledged as a person for who I am in my community and workplace. 

Without that I'm a much different sort of person; I stop talking on voice coms and text chat in online competitive video games because I don't see the need for it, I stop direct messaging on social media apps because I think my people need more space away from me, I give my family more space and seclude myself more in whatever ways I can. The question is, is this good for me, and is it sustainable in the long run? What are the ramifications of living life in a lighthouse keeper sort of way? 

For some people, none of this might apply to them because some people naturally don't like to be around others much, and try to spend as much time away from them as possible, as well as saying as little as possible. Obviously, for those people, COVID is helping them out in a societal way. But for the vast majority of the population, they need that social construct in order to engineer their lives in a more meaningful way, myself included. 

We can't all keep going on like this and we know it. I've done really well under the circumstances but the show can't go on. As great as the digital age of the internet is in sharing and communication, it's a piss poor substitute for the real world. And that, essentially, is where the problem of COVID lies therein; it forces us to disperse and stay away from each other, and possibly even stop caring as much as we used to, and instead turn to our own quarantined, lockdown, isolated lives, looking for that spark of inspiration, that zest for life, that we simply can't get anywhere else. 

Still waiting for my saviour,
storms tear me limb from limb

Riders on the Storm

Back again, so very soon, after not writing much for the entire month. Well, actually, that isn't completely true. For you see, during this time that I've been on leave from work for two months, I've been writing a long short story, it's not finished yet. It's a better, more refined version of my zombie virus short story entitled Human, Ghoul, Zombie, which you can read here. Other than that, yes, the writing has been sparse. But we'll see how long that lasts. 

Here I'd like to explore the idea of walking the Earth, not only cognizant of yourself, but also dealing with how the pandemic has forced us all into an all too close relationship with ourselves, our families, our friends, and coworkers. I haven't seen too many people writing about this. Perhaps psychology blogs are all over this, who knows.

First off, we're all riders on the storm. We're all walking the Earth, in our own inimitable way. Before the pandemic life was simple, easy, and carefree. Now we are all forced into isolation if we're sick, isolation if we're not sick too, and we've been forced into an all too close relationship with our friends, families, coworkers, and loved ones. 

I don't know but I've been told that in other cultures they don't really have a problem with that. In fact, in some cultures, they prefer their people to be extremely close to each other; mom/dad/kids/grandpa-ma all live together and in poorer parts of the world there are sometimes entire families that live in one room together. The thought of that to most Americans is absolutely unacceptable. But it has its virtues. 

The Japanese make the best astronauts. Why? Because they're used to being confined in small spaces, they get along well with each other, and they're very polite. Why, if Americans were more like the Japanese, there wouldn't be so much dysfunction in families or in the workplace. 

In my own personal experience, I would say I've handled lockdown with family 24/7 pretty well. But not great. I'm not Japanese astronaut status, yet. What am I doing that's working well? 

For one thing, I've found that I'm actually able to find the breaking points with the people around me; I know when and if I set them off, when and if I need to give them space, when and if I need to cool it, and when and if I can engage with that person more in a friendly nature, and lastly, when and if I'm set off/when and if I need a break and/or time out. I'm talking about this as it pertains to myself, my family, and friends but it also applies to my work life as well. 

The lockdown has forced many families into situations where it's easy to be mean or even small to your family, friends, and coworkers. Familiarity breeds contempt as they say. What we're trying to do here is to avoid all that, or if it's impossible to avoid it, to mitigate it as much as possible in order to strengthen relationships and make life better and easier during the most brutal moment in our lives. 

Obviously, if someone ticks you off, you should say something, right? Yes, but watch out, what you say to the other person might affect your life in a much more severe way than you think, especially if you live with that person, if you work with that person closely, or if they're a good friend of yours that you see on a regular basis. It's best to be lighthanded when it comes to dropping the hammer on people that are in your immediate close circle that you see all the time or live with. When it comes to severe arguments, and yes, they are inevitable I'm afraid, remember that it's always the person who gives in and bends the knee and stops fighting that is the better man. You can argue till you're blue in the face but if you see this person constantly you're a lot smarter if you just bend the knee and find some reasonable accommodations between you two. This goes for social and/or work relationships too.

Lastly, to close I should add that life with my family has become like a dramatic space opera; where I'm confined inside a small space shuttle with three other people, and everything I say to them, or do in the space shuttle, every action, large or small, has repercussions or positive effects that strengthen or diminish the morale of everybody aboard the shuttle. Obviously, I want the crew to make it to their destination and finish the mission. In order to make sure that happens each person has to play their part. Or if I play my part in such a manner that it's so good that I astound myself, what the other crew members do won't be as crucial, leading to a stronger party, like a pickup group in a video game with strong leaders and supporting roles that carry the team to victory. The point of all of this is simply to make you a more thoughtful person; the process is daunting, but the reward is a lifetime achievement. 


"The world on you depends, our life will never end"

Hyperbolic Time Chamber

Hello, everybody, Que Tal? May has been a slow blogging month for me. Just taking it day by day, taking it slow, like a sloth. I've written a lot on the blog about time, how time seems to have different states; slow, fast, constant, stopped, nonexistent, perpetual. What does time feel like during COVID to you? 

For me time seems to be in a vacuum. By that I mean that time seems to have slowed down exponentially, perhaps it's even stopped sometimes. Yes, things are happening in the world, more Americans dying and getting infected, for one thing, the biggest and most important story right now, but there's also our own small, yet still equally important personal lives, meager as they seem.

It's a given that those that get to work from home during COVID are privileged. Hell, I think I'm privileged because of the fact that I have enough money to take two months off from work. As a result, the last two months have been the slowest days of my entire life.

Now, is that good or bad, or is there neither praise nor blame attached? Well, it's good because I get to practice my skills, however meager in the nonexistent economy they may be; guitar playing, writing and reading literature. It's bad because all the extra free time conduces me to spend copious amounts of video game hours just messing around. On the other side of this spectrum, one could say that it doesn't matter much but obviously that's just a cop-out.

The best thing about lockdown during COVID for me other than the fact that I've been away from work for two months after having worked seven years straight with hardly any vacations is that I've been able to develop even more of an interior life. What am I talking referring to?

Interior life is the life you live inside yourself without others. Do you constantly need to be around other people more often than not? Are you uncomfortable with being alone in a room by yourself, doing nothing, in particular, just relaxing, perhaps reading or staring at a wall? Interior life can only be improved upon with you knowing that you don't need to be around other people all the time. You have to have alone time to gather your thoughts, energy, and focus on the tasks at hand, which is important to you and you only. Or are you constantly searching for that something, like an affirmation or anything else, to always be around other people for various reasons? This concept also applies to the online world as well. Think about how many people keep checking their notifications on social media apps all day. They do this because they get pleasure from seeing notifications, a shot of dopamine. If you want to develop the interior life you should not check your social media or smartphone notification apps all day. Put a limit on it.

Interior life isn't easy to develop. For me, it started with my solo guitar practice sessions, long reading sessions, and epic pug [pick up group] online gaming sessions. For you, it could develop in various ways that are more personable to you and your life.

In case I didn't explain clearly enough, the interior life is a sort of spiritual, not just a regular solo experience. Reading the news every day online is part of my interior life. When I read the news after I wake up in the morning, I feel a sense of urgency to see what all the news headlines are, and read them, and make my own assessments based on said articles. When I do this, I go into a flow state, a similar flow state I go into when I practice guitar; where time and space ceases to exist, and I enter a state of simply 'being,' the more you do these sorts of things, the more you develop this flow state, which will help you in nearly every aspect of your life.

One of the subtle ways of developing an interior life that has improved my friendships and relationships is that I know when to back away from people socially, to allow and give them space. When I'm in a setting where there are more than two people I know what questions to ask, when to lay out and listen, and when to let the others talk more so than myself. In short, it's improved my social skills a lot as well as giving me a guiding light in my personal free time.

Now, going back to the beginning. The snake eats its tail, as they say. At this point of the pandemic journey, and my own personal journey alongside it, I would say that it has been my interior life that has saved me from sheer agony or perhaps one could call it the killing boredom; the loss of in-person hangouts, not eating at restaurants with my family or friends, not playing open mics, not hanging out with girls, even not working for two months straight.

It was the interior life that shackled time and allowed me to do my thing and free myself. In these daunting times, it was just the thing I needed. A hyperbolic time chamber.

Surviving the Zombie Apocalype Virus pt. 7

Salutations, good people of the internet, and of the ofigueroamusicblog. I haven't written in a long time, and for starters, let me say, that it's good to be back writing blogs again. For those of you that were wondering where or what I have been doing, feel free to check out my plague journal, located here.

Moving on, to the current events. Covid-19 has ravaged the lands. America is described as a failed state by other nations that feel pity for us and periodicals in op-eds state the same. Today, 2,000 people died from the virus in the US.

I'm still on hiatus from work, on a leave of absence. This has been ongoing since April but I think when my time is up in June, I will go back to work, and just pray to God that I don't get COVID. I need the money and the stimulus isn't enough. I wear gloves and a mask as a safety precaution. I think everybody should wear gloves and a mask if they go to the grocery store.

I've been bunkering in my room. I've been playing a lot of video games and reading a lot. Right now I'm focused on finishing Plutarch's Lives, a history/biographies book by an ancient Greek named Plutarch, and the book focuses on the lives, achievements, and virtues of famous Greeks and Romans. It's a heavy-duty book, consisting of 1200 pages, right now I'm almost to page 400! I find that reading ancient history really puts me in a different universe, one where I don't have to worry about the woes of the present predicament. It's a sense of freedom, that's what I enjoy about reading the book in particular.

Before that, I finished a science fiction short story hall of fame collection. That one was very impressive and I learned a lot about the science fiction genre from it. It focused on stories from the 1940s to the 1960s, aka the golden age of science fiction. I can see where a lot of sf ideas came from and noted that none of the new sf movies/shows/short stories/novels are original. "It's all been done before." 

I also read two great science fiction pulp novels from the 1940s and 1960s. The first one was The Day They H Bombed Los Angeles, a wonderful zombie apocalypse wasteland story, probably the first of its kind. The writing was only okay but it was a fun read. Want to know how a zombie apocalypse wasteland is created? An H Bomb. There's a twist. These zombies become sentient, enough to the point where they can shoot guns and call others for help in firefights.

In addition, I read Slan, a novel from 1940, the first mutant novel. It's very pulpy writing, meaning its not very literary at all, however, there's a great twist for an ending that is very endearing. It turns out that the woman the main character, a young mutant man loves, she's also a mutant, her father is the villain of the novel. But that's not all. The villain was known for being a bad guy that hates mutants, and not a mutant, completely human. Well, it turns out that he's the father of the woman our hero loves, AND a mutant, AND our hero doesn't have to kill him because he's allowed him into his shadow government organization where mutants have infiltrated human society. How nice. 

Aside from books, I did start writing a beginning for a zombie apocalypse virus novel but haven't made much progress. It has the same name as my zombie virus short story, entitled Human, Ghoul, Zombie, which you can read here.

Lastly, I've been playing a lot of guitar. I play acoustic guitar on my balcony most afternoons or evenings. As a result, I've become a much better guitar player. Acoustic forces you to work on your chords and timing, leaving the fancy solos in the dust. My jazz improvisation is at its best its ever been and I'm still doing my jazz duo with my friend Jason, who plays the alto saxophone. In my plague journal, you can hear some of our recordings. Check out our latest free form improvisational track The All Wizard.

Tonight I jammed outside on the balcony and my neighbor across the way came out with his acoustic and we did a short jam session. It was a lot of fun. He played chords and I played lead over it. We had one really good number but the rest wasn't so hot. Still, I give Chris props for coming out and bringing out his guitar, him knowing that I practice guitar outside almost every day and have a lot more chops. There was a sensational moment as a result of this; both his family and my neighbor's family next door came out, and we all talked for a bit. The power of music really brings us together!

I plan on going back to work in June. But in the meantime, I'm reading Plutarch and taking the news day by day. If you read the news nowadays or watch the news on TV, it's very scary, and it's very real. Welcome to our nightmare. 

But don't fret. The best thing we can do is keep calm and stay undeterred from our goals, our plans, our lives, our families, our jobs, our hobbies, our fortunes and virtues, or lack thereof. The strongest skill of this time period isn't wealth or even happiness, perhaps not even health, rather it is the ability to stay focused on the things at hand, that truly matter. 

Don't let up.

Spring 2019 Goals

Hello ladies and gents. Here I'd like to go on a short motivational speel about goals. Personal mostly but this can apply to anyone relatively speaking. Spring 2019 is here. Life is moving by quickly. Have you been working on all your New Years resolutions? Are you getting everything you want to be done? 

First, my biggest New Years Resolution [only one really] was to work out more. In the beginning of the year I was working out super hard. In fact, during the first week I ran 2 miles everyday for five days. That was way too extreme. Hurt my legs. But I felt great in my mind. I had a strong mental mindset about the whole thing. Then, the California winter was super harsh, so I didn't run because of the rain and cold. Now, spring is here so I have no excuse. I'm not going to go hardcore. In fact, I'll probably run one day, then rest the next. End up running 3 days, resting for 4 days. My weight is still the same, which is not good, as I'm above 200 pounds. I have a lot more work to do. 

Second, I need to learn how to eat less. Contrary to what Americans believe, it isn't the fact that I don't exercise much that I'm overweight. Its the fact that every day I'm eating too much, overfeeding my body, too many calories. If I can learn to eat less [and drink less soda, drink more water], I can lose weight the natural way, by just allowing the weight to fly off, by letting my body be hungry more. This is more difficult than working out for me because my friends all love to eat out all the time and they sure as hell don't eat healthily. In fact, they're all getting overweight too. I was doing this for a while and I managed to lose twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I went back to bad eating habits and gained the weight back. This is the most difficult task for me. My number one goal.

Third, finish my novella and show it around to some publishers. I've been working on a novella [long short story] and my goal once I've finished it is to show it around to some publishers and try to get it published. If I can't get it published its no big deal. In fact, I think just learning how to write better in the process is worth it just by itself. My goal is 100 pages. I currently have 28 pages. So I've got a lot more writing and editing to do before I even really discuss it with anyone.

Fourth, release an album for sale on Bandcamp. I've been working with an alto saxophonist named Jason Thomas. He says he can get us free studio time. Our end goal is to record at the studio and release the best tracks as an album on Bandcamp, a music website people use to sell their tunes. I also want to perform live with him more whether it just be open mics or real gigs. Hopefully real gigs. I also want to find a bass player so we can have a legit jazz trio. The guitar, alto saxophone duo is cool but we really need that bass for the low end, as well as having the complete complementary instrumentation. 

Fifth, read more books. Reading is my spirit animal at this point. Most of all my blog posts are about novels. I love reading with a  passion. Maybe even as much as music. Or more? Not sure. I want to finish reading The Illiad, read the Aeneid,  the Odysee, finish the Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, more Hemingway novels, more philosophy, in particular, finish reading Heidegger's Time and Being. Hopefully, I get to all those. Its a lot but I've got the discipline and reading habit to actually do it. I'm a reading machine.

Sixth, think about finding another job if my family doesn't end up moving. The family plan is to move to Chicago but I'm not sure when if ever that is going to happen. I love California and I'd love to stay here but its too expensive to live here on my own. If we end up staying in California say, another year, then my plan will be to find another job. Retail can only take you so far in life. They're not giving me that many hours anymore. Sometimes its good to know when to pull the plug. 

Life is full of distractions. In a way its good that my friends are busy working most of the time. I've found that seeing my friends only once or twice a week is a lot better for our friendship. Time makes the heart fonder, as they say. Not only that, but I enjoy more free time by myself, where I'm able to work on all my goals. A lot of my friends have moved away and others have drifted apart. Sometimes you have to realize that some people will only be in your life for a short while. Such is life. In the meantime, I'm going to keep pushing myself, and fight the good fight, so to speak. 

Christmas of Goodwill

(Here's another sort of vlog or personal blog post for you)

Today was a terrific Christmas. I started the day off by waking up early at nine-thirty to play some Heroes of the Storm. Then I proceeded to play Destiny 2, which my brother got me for Christmas. Its a great science fiction fps mmorpg (that's a lot to say!) created by Blizzard Activision under Bungie, there's a lot of companies working together on this game. They did a pretty good job with the product. For an mmo that doesn't cost a monthly subscription its a fantastic game. Definitely worth the buy, or in my case worth trying out.

I got past the beginning areas and was playing Crucible mode with my brother. Crucible mode is Destiny's pvp (player vs player) combat system. We did this mode called quick play where we had to capture points and kill any enemies that tried to take them from us, basically king of the hill from Call of Duty, Team Fortress 2, or Overwatch, other popular fps's. I'll probably end up leveling my character mainly through pvp. Its fun. More on me getting sliced by an energy sword and dying instantly in another post.

After that we went to lunch at this Korean bbq place, except we didn't cook bbq. Instead, we had this clear broth beef stew with pot stickers, all these cold items, and this great hot steaming egg dish. It was excellent. My dad and I talked a lot about new music, avant-garde classical music. By then it was around three or four.

Later in the day I went to one of my best friends' house. We relaxed, exchanged gifts, played Smash 4 (he won most of the games), and watched a little of Metropolis by Fritz Lang and a bit of The Day the Earth Stood Still, both of them are two super old science fiction movies on Netflix. Metropolis is from 1926 and The Day the Earth Stood Still is from the 50's. I'll definitely want to finish both. I've already seen Metropolis but The Day the Earth Stood Still seemed quite interesting.

Approaching seven I went back home. My brother and I exchanged gifts and opened them by the fireplace. The gag gift I got that was also quite amazing was a framed picture of Mercy from Overwatch, a gift from James, my brother. Its quite good artwork. Its a head portrait but you can also see a little of her bodysuit armor as well as her characteristic halo and blonde hair. Sick.

In addition to that I got Starbucks coffee (I'm a coffee addict as of October), chipotle sea salt peanuts, a Lucio Pop figurine, a $25 Panda Express card, a Zelda wallet (from my friend), and the first science fiction cyberpunk novel written in the 1950's called The Stars My Destination. I think I scored the motherload. It feels really great to have people who care about me so much and got me great thoughtful and utilitarian gifts.

I called my mother and spoke to my younger brother. It was nice to hear their voices. I told my brother that he's really helped me get situated into reading more books and increasing my knowledge, improving my writing, and finding an audience for this blog. He's an inspiration although he can't take all the credit, (laughs). My mother seemed to be doing well and she said she was going to ship one of my guitars from Wisconsin out to me here. The guitar I'm speaking about is a heavily modified (Frankensteined) Godin guitar, a Canadian guitar brand. I got the guitar because I've seen John Mclaughlin playing Godins. It will be really cool to get that guitar out here eventually. I could use it for jams, recording, and band practices.

Yeah, things really turned out well on this Christmas day. It was a great occasion for good food, good friends, good family, and a good optimistic outlook for tomorrow. It couldn't get any better.

Chicago trip starts tommorrow

Hey everyone! Its been a long time since I've posted, since the Buckethead cover post. I thought I'd let you all know I'll be spending the next week in Chicago with my brother and step-dad. There's a lot of planning that was involved in the trip so I have to think carefully about everything I want to do and all the places I want to see. For me the highlight is of course all the great restaurants that we'll probably eat at. But also my step-father's composer friend is playing at a new music (avant-garde classical music) concert at this place called the Green Mill that looks promising.

My bro's apartment is in Hyde Park somewhat near the University of Chicago so I'm thinking about spending some time on campus checking out events and hopefully going to some jazz concerts at night as well at some local joints. I'm also interested in seeing downtown Chicago. My step-dad organized the trip and its mostly for him to see all his old school buddies. I'm interested in seeing my brother and my mother but unfortunately I might not be able to see mom because she lives in Wisconsin and she has to work.

I literally haven't had a vacation or a week off probably since last year. Its been a good minute. I really need some rest and relaxation. Work has been good in terms of getting off early but I haven't been getting good hours (averaging 25 at most lately), I struggle with cutting and wrapping cheese, and my manager can be a little harsh to say the least. I've been trying to not let it get to me. If I don't make it in that department at work I'll probably ask to go back to the front end as a combo clerk (bagger/cashier). I've gotta learn to relax and not take work as the law of the land. If anything happens I'll probably still have a job there. Having been there four years its not like they're going to fire me or anything. And I have no intention of forsaking my union.

Anyways, the Chicago trip will be a perfect distraction from work and stuff. I'm going to be blogging pretty often when I'm there just because I'll be at the library a lot (my bro works at a library) so I'll probably do a bunch of updates on movies, tv shows, music, and video games that I've been checking out. It's going to be a lot of blogging. Get ready to read!

Overwatch Christmas Update Is Live

     So the Christmas update for Overwatch has gone live. The new update brings a bunch of cool new skins, a Mei only 6v6 brawl, the changes they made to Symmetra from the ptr, and a new social features that allows you stay as a team together after games. So much stuff but we all know you're only here for the cool new skins. Here they are!

     These new skins are pretty terrific if I do say so myself. I already got the Nutcracker Zenyatta, Scrooge McCree, and Santa Torb. I'm hoping to pick up the Yeti Winston because that one is just badass. It looks like Winston has a manly beard mane, its pretty freakin' awesome. I'm definitely going to farm up more loot boxes and see what I can get. I will probably end up buying the other ones with the currency I have saved up.

     The game has changed a lot. Symmetra is a lot stronger now with her projectile shield and the new social feature to stay as team makes finding games a lot faster. It works especially well with a good team you played with in competitive mode. However, the more I play competitive the more toxic players I encounter. Like players that leave after the first minute of the game that say, "fuck you guys" and leave. It's an epidemic that the devs must fix.

     It's always great to see the holiday spirit reflected in our favorite games. For some this is a hard time of perhaps even suffering. If we can find joy in the things we like than maybe that really is the Christmas spirit.

Happy holidays