das Erntedankfest 2022

Hello loyal blogspot readers, 

How are you? It's been a minute. Things have been up, down, topsy, turvy. Here I'd like to jot down some notes on what life has been like this Thanksgiving week. 

First, I've been working nonstop since the summer. I've requested a week off for a vacation week every month since September and I've been denied every time. C'est la vie. On top of that, I only had Tuesday off this week so I'm working hardcore. 

Here's an empathetic experience for you. I was listening to classical music on my last ten minute break tonight and this cute girl I work with came in and talked on her phone for like two minutes, probably with her boyfriend. Then she just sat there and cried. It was super awkward. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. But I was listening to a great classical piece without headphones so she heard it, and it seemed to soothe her, especially the last major chord ending the piece. Quite an experience. Did I mention she's cute?

Second, although my job is grueling, it is pretty easy. So although I get mad when I'm there sometimes, in reality, I can't complain too much. Pushing carts in the cold is harder work and I've done that too. I stand there and take cash and throw things in the bag. It helps to have a personality but the job doesn't require you to have any kind of personality whatsoever, so if you don't really want to talk, you can just say the bare minimum. 

Third, this holiday season has been especially rough on the low level employees and the customers. The only way you can really enjoy this holiday season and have a lot of fun is if you're some kind of superman or superwoman. Most people that come to my line have nothing but complaints about this, that, the other, or prices of most things. I could care less. Nobody seems to be happy and you know what, that's not going to change. You know why? Because they simply lack the capacity for happiness. 

Fourth, what is the capacity for happiness? The capacity for happiness is the ability to find happiness within yourself, in and outside of your own makeup and psyche, and being able to see it and fulfill it within others. When you are happy, you are smiling, even if not physically, your spirit will be shining bright, and when others see that, theirs will be too, ad infinitum. 

But again, not to be rude, but most people can never be completely happy because most people simply lack the capacity for happiness. Nobody in the universe, not even God, or Christ Himself, can make you happy. You have to make the leap on your own for your own good. Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. It easier to smoke pot or get drunk or do hard drugs. 

Lastly, I've been talking about this idea for years on this blog. Here's a blog from 2020 even entitled Capacity for Happiness, you can read it here. When everything is going well, it doesn't really matter if your happy or sad or in the middle or whatever. But it's times like these, where the world seems to be falling off the hidden cliffs of the abyss, staring back at you, that's when you need to have practiced and gained the capacity for happiness, training within it and without it, your entire life, ad infinitum.

image ai generated 

New Years Eve, Reflections of a Retail Employee

Goodbye 2021! 

Here we are, the last day of 2021. Covid is still rampaging through the lands. Just this past Thursday there were 20,000 new cases of covid in Cali. Some things never change. But we strive for a better day, and will work towards creating a healthier, better world with all those happy things. Here I'd just like to recap a couple of things about work and life that took place over this year.  

First, work has surprisingly become better, much better since the initial wave of the virus. Things are much more streamlined and there have been no employees that have come down with the virus, [to my knowledge]. As a cashier, I'm encased in a box covering me from being too close to customers. It's hard to hear what they say, but it's improved my hearing tenfold, especially hearing all the many different tones and accents throughout LA. 

The store still has its problems: not enough employees to work, customers coming in not wearing masks, no social distancing, not enough raises for employees, not enough help to get all the work done for a typical eight hour shift, disgruntled lower management having disagreements with upper management in the way they deal and manage employees and customers. As one of my line managers says, "it's a shit show." But I would say, "but the show must go on and it ain't over till the fat lady sings." 

I think the last two years of covid has really changed the way we see work in all its vicissitudes. What I'm finding is that a lot of employees and management I work with are very disgruntled about having to work retail. What can you tell these people? The sad part about it is that a lot of these young people I work with have degrees and have finished college and they're still chipping away at retail gigs like retail grocery. The short answer is that it's tough out there. Life is short and then you die. Here's a dull knife. 

Here's the way I see it personally. I don't look at my retail grocery job as something I do for money OR something that I do for fun, although it's definitely those things as well. Rather, I see my job as a reliable go-to safehouse that provides me social interaction, money, and good vibes. Why would anybody care about something as hippy dippy as good vibes, almost with the same tier as money? 

Well, I'm kind of a wild child hippy guitar kid from Wisconsin, so you might not "get it," or maybe there's nothing quite to get, but I think there's a strong lack of capacity for happiness going on super strong in this world, intensified a thousand times by the countless deaths and infections of coronavirus and stagnation in terms of careers and relationships. Believe it or not, being happy might be more important than getting rich, or getting the hottest wife, or 2.5 kids, or even gasp, a great career. Simply put, although we all will continue to strive for more and better, we all have to learn how to deal with less during the plague years. Painful to hear yes, hard to understand, no, difficult to put into real life practical experience, yes. 

What I lack in a real career over there is more experience than most other workers in retail. More experience in dealing with real people with real problems, and more experience in learning how to continue being happy on a daily basis. It ain't special and I'm no guru, but I am the philosopher in aisle 9.

I see my job as more of a social construct I've created through hard work and goodwill. I'm Orlando Furioso and I've created my own knight errantry story on the job. I'm my own character, complete with virtue, personality, and reciprocal goodwill to others I meet there. 

As I look over 2021 I think about the destruction of American institutions, government, the chaos and divide within the system, the civil war-esque aesthetic, the coronavirus killing lots of people still, new infections going on everyday, the lack of goodwill and generosity within this social construct, and you know what I get out of it? I see the world, and other people, much like myself. Nobody is completely happy and in every life in this world, there is a lot of suffering and pain. However, the cure is to keep chipping away and improving your capacity for happiness. Some people get it right away and you can see it on their face. Others are Debbie downers and try to get others to feel the same way or playing the crowd like a fiddle for sympathy. There's this magic forcefield within the universe, it's within yourself, and you can see it in others, "I am the walrus!" 

But what do I know? I'm just a grasshopper, you can tell by the way I walk. 

Metal Show Extravaganza at the Regent

I went to a metal show last night at the Regent, this venue in LA. At first I wasn't going to go because lately I haven't been listening to a lot of metal but my friends persuaded me to go. I'm so glad I went because it was super fun! Let me tell you about it.

The opening band was the band that we went there to see specifically. The Agonist is a female fronted metal (metalcore/deathcore/death metal) band that my friends really love. Its easy to see why. The chick fronting the band has such charisma, style, and a great voice for cleans as well as screaming. I would say that The Agonist sounds even better live than they do on record, and I've heard them a lot on record because of my friends. Seeing them perform was a first for me in the sense that it was the first time I'd ever seen a woman singing super aggressive metal live and doing it with such grace, style, and sonic fury. It was pretty amazing. Definitely a memorable experience!

The next band was called Winter Plague or Plagues, something like that. I can't remember because their name was nothing remarkable. They were more of a stereotypical sort of metalcore band where they played lots of fast heavy riffs with a guy screaming over the top of all of it. The best part was when the keyboardist girl sang a song. The lead guitarist had some better solos than the guitarists in The Agonist but overall their band was a bit too cliche for my metal tastes. Totally the opposite of the next band...

Next up was Death Angel. These were the grandmaster metal musicians of the night. They were older, cooler looking, more talented, and way more metal than all the other bands, even The Agonist. They were my favorite band. The band featured two Asian (most of them are Filipino) guys on guitars and they absolutely shredded through heavy metal guitar riffs and solos. The lead guitarist was so fast and maniacal. There was a sense that anything and everything could happen at anytime during his solos, it was very daring and adventurous even though he was making mistakes and hitting bum notes at times. This set him apart from the other guitarists of the night who seemed to be playing stock solos that they play every night at every show.

Their drummer was a fat white guy bigger than me but who was so fast and technical. He was probably good enough to play in Dream Theater or something, his double bass drum patterns and fills were so spot on. The singer was good but his voice didn't exactly stand out as much as the other musicians. Also, the singer looked a lot like Tom Araya, singer/bassist of Slayer. That was funny because they're both in thrash metal bands from the 80's. Their set was definitely the best of the night. There was a sense that most of the people there went to see Death Angel and their fans really shouted and moshed in the pit hard for them. How could a band called Death Angel not play great heavy metal music?

Finally, after standing around all night we got to hear the headliner. Devil Driver is a popular metal band that plays such stock cliche gun metal gray (to quote Marty Friedman on Megadeth) music that it was too bland to enjoy. Their singer didn't have a great voice, their riffs were generic and fast but not technical enough to be interesting, and the songs didn't really go anywhere. The good thing that I can say about them is that they played their entire set almost as if they were playing an album live in the studio. They didn't even stop to say anything in between songs. It was just start, finish, start, finish, and repeat. I like that sense of urgency from musicians. They played the longest set and after a certain point I wanted them to stop playing and they kept going on and on. Eventually they ended the show. And that was that.

As you can imagine I was really tired after the show ended. I'm actually super tired right now the day after. Thinking about it all now I'm still not the biggest fan of modern metal and I would go so far as to say that Devil Driver was annoying. But still, I'm glad I got to see The Agonist and Death Angel. Also, you'd be surprised how many hot girls were at this show. Seems like metal musicians probably get a lot of hot girls. But that's a story for another post.

Think I'm gonna lay low off loud things and heavy metal music for a while. Till the next concert that is. Btw, that's a young picture of Death Angel.