How To Really Listen

Brainstorming some ideas on what subject to write upon tonight brought me to this simple idea: How do you really listen? How do you listen to music? How do you listen to people?

The idea came to me when I was listening to some Vivaldi just now. By the way, I love baroque music, especially Vivaldi, and the Four Seasons piece. Those fast violins burn and shred hard.

First, I'll share my thoughts about how to listen to music and then how to listen to people after.

I can hear the grass grow.

So first of all, these are simply my ideas on what's best. What might be right for me might not be your cup of tea. That being said, the best way to listen to music is by listening to music with a good pair of headphones or speakers. Headphones are the best. Then, make sure you have EQ bars that have predefined presets so you can always put the music's tone on a good sound easily without messing around too much.

The next step is critical. When you listen to music, only listen to the music. Don't scroll through Facebook, don't read the news, don't read random articles, don't talk. The only way you can truly respect and enjoy the music is by giving it your full, undivided attention. So when I started writing this blog I turned off the music and put down my headphones. Why? Because you have to give the task at hand your full, undivided attention, for that is the only way you can truly enjoy it and give it the credit it deserves. Think of all the people who mindlessly do one thing while doing another. They can't really get the benefit of doing the one thing because they're doing another, they're doing themselves a disservice. 

In addition, it should be added that you must listen not only to the lyrics of the singer [most of you listen to bands with singers] but you must also learn to isolate the sounds of the bass, guitar, drums, and keyboards. Likewise, if you're a big classical connoisseur like myself, you must learn to recognize the chords/melodies, the chords/melodies of the brass, the chords/melodies of the strings, etc. Once you can recognize the melodies and chords coming from all the different instruments, then you can truly enjoy it. If you just sit there and mindlessly listen without putting all of this into consideration, it's sort of empty and soulless. Sure, you might be able to pick out a simple melody here or there, but only if the song hits you over the head with it. You have to learn to isolate chords and melodies, no matter how cluttered the sound is. That's where things get difficult, especially when you're a musician trying to learn a new song on the guitar, or a classical musician trying to learn to play in a huge orchestra. By the time you can figure out how to do all this, your ear will become trained; you'll be able to recognize intervals, chords, melodies, rhythms, scales, modes, all of it, and your appreciation for music will go through the roof. If you can't do this stuff mentioned here then your ear will always be mediocre and although you'll enjoy a good beat or riff here or there, you'll never get to that full music appreciation. It's like a guitar player who only plays power chords. If you've never played a jazz or a classical chord then you haven't done your homework. Essentially, you'll always be a rookie.

You say yes, I say no.

So you've done all the above and you can fully appreciate AND enjoy music. Congrats! That's all super hard work and it takes a lifetime to really enjoy and master, musician or not. Always remember that the people who listen to music as background noise can't appreciate and enjoy the music the same way you do, they will always lack that special something, the secret sauce so to speak; you're a seasoned connoisseur now.

Now you apply your listening skills from music to listening to people, listening to words. Reading helps a lot with this but that's for another blog. The white noise that can bleed into your auditory senses will always be there whether its background music inside your work, cars driving by, other people talking, even the wind blowing will be noticeable to your ears, even thoughts in your own head can clutter sound. You have to isolate the sound the same way you isolate the sound when you listen to music. Some people are low note baritone talkers, others are midrange brass, others are more of high violin notes. Identifying, clarifying, and isolating their voices will be key.

One of the interesting things that will occur once you're at this stage is that you will begin to hear a lot more; more of everything. A lot of people talk to themselves, say something meant just for themselves, and you'll even pick up these things too. It's not really that important but it's a behavioral tick that a lot of people have. Other times people will blatantly say something really quiet but is meant for you to hear. For example, perhaps a cute girl wants to give you a compliment but is a little shy? Or how about a passive-aggressive comment from someone you pissed off somehow. There's always something. Hell, you'll even realize that sometimes people whisper random stuff. Weird, I know. But you'll pick it up along the way.  

The most important thing is that you're there listening. It isn't really that important what you say. If you're around people that genuinely like you, it never matters what you say, only that you listen. You can choose to listen in a passive way, almost like your not even there, or you can be more outgoing and create exchanges of sentences with people, either method works. The most important thing is to try not to interrupt someone when they're talking. If you miss some things, hey, nobody is perfect. Listening to people is very similar to listening to music; it's all ear training, recognition, call, and response. Essentially all it is is language games, even music is just that to some extent. Next thing you know you'll be able to transcribe your nervous exchange with the hottest girl you've seen all week. Or that frantic police squad car/helicopter chase down the freeway going 100 miles per hour.

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

How Social Media Propels and Fuels Our Ignorance

Social media is a godsend in today's day and age. Think about it this way. I'm not a paid gigging writer but because I write daily on here my ideas are shown to countless thousands of people. Without it, I don't know if I would still be doing the blog. Would it be worth it if nobody read my writing?

Social media is important. But there comes a time when we have to see it for what it is and realize that deep down, social media propels and fuels our ignorance.

I'm a smart guy. I work in retail where most of the workers and bosses aren't so smart. I'm a big fish in a small pond in that aspect. When I go online on Facebook and interact with countless friends, peers, or even acquaintances, it's like my job times a million. What I mean to say is that intelligence drops down and everything else turns up to eleven. You can now see my point clearly. 

The problem is that social media has become a cesspool for bots, scammers, provocateurs, and hackers. Some of these are very easy to spot, others much less so. Most people on Facebook go on there to have a good time; they see what's new with friends and family, they like a few posts, they may or may not post something themselves, and then they continue on with their lives. But other people, myself included, often spend a lot of time on Facebook, not really sure what we're looking for, but we know it when we get it, that shot of dopamine; oh somebody liked my stuff! 

Of course, that's only one way of seeing Facebook. The other side of Facebook that I'm seeing right now is a lot more sinister than what it was originally intended for. After the brutal murder video of George Floyd was shown on social media, it's clear to say that pretty much everyone has seen it. Unless you live under a rock. But it's already having a bad ripple effect. Now there are pictures and videos of white people posing with their knee on their friends' necks, smiling, in a mockery of the murder of George Floyd. 

On top of that, the nationwide protests have sowed much discord on social media. My friends are my friends. Meaning that most of them are well to do, college-educated, professional people who, although they've never been brutalized by a cop before, they stand in solidarity with black and brown people and support them in the cause for more rules and regulations to stop these murders of black and brown men by police officers. It's what you would expect. But, at the same time, I think that just agreeing to stand with black people in and of itself isn't a solution, rather it's almost like a pat on the back, "my people systematically destroyed your race, and I'm sorry, but this is the most I can do," I get it. We get it, white people, you realize that the white power structure is rigged against blacks and you're sorry for it. But there's only so much I can take of my white friends posting BLM memes. The truth is that to be a true ally of black people you have to go a much farther mile, one that most white people wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. You can't just protest right now and say, "I'm an honorary black man now." It doesn't work like that.  

So I've seen a lot of that. And I've also seen a lot from the alt-right and conservative side as well. Now, I don't have too many alt-right friends but I have many conservative friends who are older than me. In terms of the alt-right, I've seen a lot of political propaganda supporting Trump and justifying the brutalization by police to protesters. I see a lot of young people that are Trump supporters trolling the left in posts, asking them questions, about facts. When has Trump or his base ever cared about facts? The reality is that it is Trump's actions that warrant his removal from office. Although he never tells the facts either. He always lies about everything. "I didn't hide in that bunker from the protesters, I was inspecting the bunker, I inspect bunkers." 

As far as my older conservative friends go, I can sometimes see their point of view. They're business owners and some of them even protected their businesses with guns out on the streets where looting took place. They support Trump no matter what but some of them also think that there's no right or left, they're both corrupt, but for whatever reason they still support Trump. Most of these people are in their 40s/50s, they have money, and some of them are musicians. The musicians lean more heavily towards the libertarian idealogy like the 1970s never ended. 

When you interact with all of that going on, as a real, legitimate person, you see that's all rather a waste of your time and efforts unless you want to come to some sort of understanding. When someone takes the time to agree with you on something they just read it off for a second, either react to it or don't, and then leave it forever in a vacuum. The people that really interact the most are the provocateurs, the ones that want to rile you up, the internet trolls that the internet is based on.    

Not to mention the countless articles that are distributed on social media. This is what people construe as facts. But the sad reality is that most of the articles I see shared on social media aren't from fact worthy websites. In fact, they're from crappy websites run on the old javascript engine, where there are ads in the news articles. Has nobody on social media ever heard of the guardian, the LAtimes, the NYTimes, or the daily news? How about WSJ? Nope, I've hardly ever seen articles from any of those reputable periodicals. But I see plenty of news from Buzzfeed. Some from Slate and Politico. Those last two aren't bad but still.

The fact that people use these illegitimate sources to prove their points and to show off facts, shows that we live in an era where facts don't matter, as these sources often report fake news, false facts, like the President himself. It's like 24/7 Fox News. This is a grievous blow to the historical accuracy of this time period we're all living in and to real journalism, which still takes place sometimes by people like Rachel Maddow and the Washingtonpost staff journalists like Robert Costa, Phillip Ruecker, and Ashley Parker. 

Moving forward, I think we all have to be a lot smarter when using social media. Things have changed so drastically from 2016 to 2020. Remember, social media was used by Russian hackers to help get Trump elected. Is that the kind of election we want to continue to have in the future? So we have to be more vigilant in detecting falsehoods from shared articles, proving, or disproving facts. Not only does the article have to report the facts but they have to get every detail of the facts right otherwise their merit is diminished and supports their enemies. You got that?  

This is a difficult thing to write about. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who agree with me on this or have similar thoughts on the topic. Personally, I only log into Facebook a couple times a day. After checking it out for five minutes I log off. By logging off it forces me to reset and think about if I really want to go back again and for what purpose. The times have not been kind to social media. And although the movement of the protests has been spearheaded by social media, remember that it was the widespread sharing of the brutal murder that sparked all this unrest in the first place. There was an anti-lynching bill today. Well, that brutal murder video was a lynching for the entire world to see. The internet has become an angry mob, but to what purpose, only time will tell.  I'm hopeful that positive things can happen out of all this. 

Lastly, I want to conclude by saying that one of the problems with social media is that your friends agree with you and those that don't, well they aren't your friends and you unfriend them because they're Trump supporters, too far left, or too far right, and not centrist enough. That's why I actually like having conservatives on my friend's list because I don't want to only interact with people who agree with me. To understand the complexity of the situation, you have to sometimes put yourself in another person's shoes, so if I can see why this 40-year-old businessman supports Trump no matter what, maybe I can learn more about what makes him or her tick, and come to an understanding between us, between them and the left, and the world. It's all about understanding. Of course, I disagree with them but when I see their points they make in favor of or against certain issues, I can see the slips and cracks where their reasoning is faulty, and show them the reason why they're wrong, explaining it to them in a way that we don't have to fight or attack each other, but recognize each other as fellow Americans with the right to share and express our ideas.

Sometimes you're being attacked not because you're black but because you're the smartest guy in the room. Always have friends that are not just allies, but are as smart as, or smarter than yourself, you want more of those kinds of friends. This ensures that if you make a blunder, they can always swoop in and save the day, whether it be a workplace conflict, business, or even social media. Imagine you make a great point on a post, only to have your much dumber associate tarnish it with some inane comment?