7/12 On Extreme Heat, Electricity, and Radiation

Evening, happy Saturday folks. Here I'd like to jot down some general ideas on extreme heat, electricity, and radiation. 

    First, the weather has become ridiculous and unsafe for humanity, animals, and plants. We're getting our first big heatwave of the summer starting on Monday and temperatures will be in the 90s and 100s. On top of that there are lots of heat-related natural disasters happening all over the country and the world. 

    For example, in California there's been some dozens of fires all going on at the same time in different parts of the state. In other parts of the US, there are natural disasters like extreme rain and lightning storms, flooding, and the usual stifling burning heat that is downright dangerous if you are not probably hydrated. And of course I know you heard about the recent earthquakes in Venezuela and Japan.

    

    Of course, the main reason why all of this happening is cause and effect but I also believe that the Earth has always been hot and gotten hotter no matter what the circumstances. We polluted the environment by having everyone and their grandma drive cars all the time all day long, decreased regulation regarding natural resources, and we use a ton of electricity, power, and radiation. 

    For example, AI companies are now building AI datacenters and the datacenters require so much power and expend so much power and radiation to run them that they're using tons of water just to keep the datacenters cool, to keep them from overheating, and probably so they don't just start burning down. 

    Just think about the average person. They live in a home or apartment, they have tons of electronics, they own a smartphone as well as maybe some smart devices, they probably  own a desktop computer or laptop, and they definitely have a TV, or if they're old school, they might own a radio or something. Okay, so just think about that for a second. Any one or all of these things by themselves or together generate a ton of heat, electricity, power, and radiation. Yes, if you keep your smartphone in your pocket all day, yes it is generating heat, power, and radiation in your pocket, and yes, that might not be a good thing for you in the long run, but that's beside the point. 

    Rather, I want this idea to hit home, that pretty much anything and everything in the post-modern 2026 world is running on tons of heat, power, electricity, and radiation. Let me say that again for the folks in the back. Anything and everything in the post-modern 2026 world is running on tons of heat, power, electricity, and radiation. There are some people who believe you can actually feel and hear the electricity and radiation that is being used surrounding us although I'm not sure I can really feel it myself, but rather I believe that there are tools that could be used to hear and feel electricity and radiation around us, but we probably don't have the proper scientific tools and equipment to actually measure it because it hasn't been invented or created yet. 

    Now, there are people who believe that this is conspiracy thing, that the government controls the weather, and that its getting hot because they want to do population control and whatnot. There's even large groups of people online who believe that because of all this extreme overheating going on this Earth, that it changed time, that somehow time has suddenly sped up much faster than ever before on the planet.

    However, I don't really believe that is true. But apparently there are people who believe that the government has been able to control the weather since the 1940s, and perhaps even before that, if you go by that crazy logic [science fiction]. But rather than this being a government conspiracy or something like that, rather it just a fundamental fact of life in this era of humanity, its heating up. 

    Second, where am I going with this? Well, I guess I'm trying to just bring more awareness to the fact that extreme heat, overuse and overreliance on electricity, and radiation is just as much of a deadly threat to humanity [or more, now it seems like its much more of a threat] as the extreme right-wing MAGA base destroying and distorting the Constitution, or Fascism, The Ice Secret Police, or Terrorism within or without, public shootings/stabbings, or War, or Covid, Cancer, mental illness, old age and dementia. 

    I'm sorry to say it folks, but we're living in a pivotal epoch in this era of humanity, where pretty much anything and everything could possibly kill you, turn on you, inform on you, get you fired at your job, get you arrested, shit man, times are so bad that I don't really want to say this, but personally I believe this is true, that you really can't even trust anything or anyone right now in this era of humanity. From my last experience at my last gig, the reality is that if you do something wrong or make some kind of mistake even if you didn't hurt anyone or steal tons of cash, everyone will turn on you, and you won't get any help from anybody. 

    This is where I get to the more paranoid section of the blog, lol, but I stand by this, at least at this current moment in time [but I am able to change my mind and be more positive and uplifting], but yes, I believe you can't even trust people at your job, your inner circle of friends, family, shit man, you might even want to think about cooking more of your own homecooked meals because I hate to say it but, they could be putting something in your food to make it more addicting, and start to make you want to eat a lot more even though you're full. 

    Yeah, you might laugh at me when I say this or you'll say, 'he's paranoid!' like the Ozzy song, or whatever, but yeah man, I personally believe they put chemicals in the food, drugs [it goes without saying], and alcohol, to make it much more addicting and make you keep coming back for more much more often so they can keep making more sales off you. Even the extreme heat and capitalism are going together. 

    Keep in mind, I'm not an anti-vaxxer, I'm not into that kind of wrong-headed thinking, but I can sort of understand why people could feel like the Covid vaccine was a hoax. If the vaccine was a hoax, why did so many elderly customers from my market job die from Covid just because they refused to take the vaccine? A good portion of elderly customers dropped dead from Covid after refusing to get the vaccine. That place was depressing and sad!   

    Third, my point with this post is just to bring awareness, but also you should ensure you stay grounded because things aren't what they seem and things are not normal folks. None of this is normal. When I was in high school during the 2008 financial crisis and we were going through the Iraq War after 9/11, as crazy as those times were, those were normal times. These years, these post-Covid Trump years are not normal. 

    I just can't state that enough right now, none of this is normal. We got a lunatic running the United States and almost every day, every 12 hours something he or his Cabinet did is reported in online news, and almost every single one or many things he did is a scandal worthy enough of impeachment but because the news is on a short cycle, almost all the bad things Trump and the MAGA Republicans do gets reported, dismissed, and somehow swept under the rug, and 12 hours later, it or something like it happens again, and they get away again and again. Make it make sense, folks. This ain't normal.

    In conclusion, you might not agree with me, you might even be a right-wing nationalistic almost fascist type of person and you voted for Trump, however, I believe that its good to get information from various sources and from a variety of different sources and types of sources and even types of people. 

    You might find this entire post boring and unimaginative because you're a young person who likes to party, drink, do drugs, and play video games, that's fine too. I hope this content reaches a wide variety of people. Remember folks, I'm just a 40 year old black guy with a high school diploma. 

    If this stuff doesn't interest you at all then you just haven't enough experience in life. If you're a kid and somehow this post got to you, remember, you're young now but at some point you're going to get big, and you're going to have to take the rap for this stuff, and mommy and daddy aren't going to be there forever, so you better start learning to understand this stuff at a young age, probably even younger than when I did because I learned about life through the school of hard knocks and it wasn't pretty, fun, or pleasant. Remember folks, when you [or they/them] fuck up, its reeducation through labor. And that's every country, every state, every city, every village.  

    Lastly, if you weren't aware yet, what you don't know can hurt you. That being said, no need to panic, worry, or be paranoid about anything at all, but just keep in mind, that there's something strange going on during all this heat and destruction. 

    I would've liked to have become a teacher in this lifetime because I believe kids are naturals at knowing things like the truth, and that even when bad kids seem to act out against teachers and whatnot, that sometimes they are not completely in the wrong, rather it is just that they out of all the 'normie' kids, have somehow picked up on the fact that the teacher could be bullshitting them, and they're calling it out. If you're someone who's kept that sense of childlike wonder and intellect and call people out when they BS you other people will notice and you will stand out. But that's a whole other post.  

    Concluding, in other news, Lindsay Graham died. He had a good reputation until his good friend John McCain died, then he become a MAGA Trump sycophant, so he ended up sort of disgracing himself after what otherwise could be seen as a pretty decent right-wing leadership position in US government. Watch this space. 

RE: Post July 4th

 

Good evening, denizens of the internet. It's been a long time since I've written any blogs, and it's good to be online tonight at 2 in the morning, jotting down thoughts and ideas. 

    First, post July 4th, I can't help to have the blues. Yes, life is good, as long as you don't weaken, but looking at everything in terms of our government, our environmental challenges with global warming, job security, and even just basic life's necessities like rent, food, and gas, its like Americans have really been pushed to the farthest limits. The War with Iran seems to be winding down and there's security and so called peace talks but nobody really knows what's going on for sure with this current second Trump administration. Trump has become the ultimate right-winger's dictator. 

    Everyday, there's some new scandal involving Trump, what he's doing, this and that, and almost every other day you see it on the news TV or even news online headline readings, and you just know that any one single incident of these are grounds for removal of the Presidency, termination of the Presidency from him, and impeachment. The fact that nothing happens and he walks away unscathed is a stain upon the US Constitution, which is not being upheld by this current administration. 

    But the main problem I have with Trump is that he's become a fascist demagogue controlling a vast amount of the US population through Fox News, social media, cable news media, and a vast array of extreme right wing MAGA republicans, who seem to not only be extreme right wingers that want a fascist dictator strongman, but who may unknowingly and begrudgingly be doing harm to the US constitution, government, and even ethics itself. 

    Think of all the right wing MAGA idiots out there, some of them I've physically encountered myself in the workplace, on social media, and various personal associates of mine. Most of these people aren't complete haters, they love America, some of them are racists and nationalistic, but you'll find that among the extreme right wing in any country. A lot of the MAGA crowd people are simply not guided by the facts, reason, evidence, and proof. 

    Instead, you'll find that the MAGA population have a limited worldview, they all watch from the same news media sources, they don't read books unless its some sort of Ayn Rand. Once you get to know them individually you find that some of them have some sort of vendetta against certain things of the world: they hate immigrants even if they are immigrants themselves, they have low information tendences, they watch Fox News and listen to right wing podcasts, and almost all of the information they get from these sources are all very much low information things. For example, a right wing podcast would talk about something Biden or the Democrats did a few years ago and say what a controversy it was, and that it went unreported. I see that type of thing from the MAGAverse all the time. It's a cheap, crappy tactic. 

    So, forgive me if I'm watching England destroy Mexico during the World Cup 2026, and right after the Fourth of July, forgive me if I feel that a sense of right wing extremism of imperialism has taken over the day. Those weird Ayn Rand kids from the early 2000s I used to disagree with in history class are loving the Trump era. But I think for those of us who know better, who had to work harder, who had to learn much more, and struggle and persevere more, those people, those are the people know that something is not right. But hey, that's not to say that you can't have an easy life and still be cognizant enough to know that this second Trump administration is hastening the destruction of the American experiment. 

      Okay, so I'm kind of rambling a lot about Trump tonight. But even bigger than Trump himself is the cult of personality that surrounds him. Isn't it a little strange that people who like Trump seem to love everything about him and his close government officials praise him like a lapdog? To quote Adam Schiff, here is a guy who's using the highest office of the land for his own, private, personal, political gain. That being said, I worry about the future of this nation, if it will really still stay a nation in the same characteristic sense that it always has been, but for those who know, we know that the American experiment was never supposed to include everyone, all the time, and allow everyone the right to vote. So there's a bit of a sour taste to this year's Fourth of July. Consequently, I spent the Fourth just chilling by myself, reading Kafka's first unfinished novel entitled Amerika [with a k, ironically], and its funny, because I find myself feeling like the young German immigrant who just freshly arrived in America, because I find that my country, this modern America, is almost alien to me, and a lot of MAGAverse people probably wouldn't want to allow me to be in it and living a good life while they are struggling. 

    That's a lot to unpack there. So yeah, I've been bummed out with this Fourth of July. I've been trying to put more of my focus into my reading, continuing to read the western canon as well as history, philosophy, artbooks, and books on culture and ideas. I've found that with this job having less hours, it's given me a lot more time to work on my personal pursuits like reading, music, gaming, walking, and listening to music for relaxation. I've found with this job budgeting is a lot harder, but who knows, perhaps this is good for me, having less money to spend and go crazy going out all the time with. Next time you see someone giving cash to homeless person, stop them and say, 'Don't delay the revolution!" 

    Lastly, with all seriousness, I think the comedown on AI is coming because now we're at the point where most Americans are realizing that although the stock market is focused in on AI, the truth is that AI wasn't really what it was supposed to be. It's rather a lackluster tool to generate ideas based on words, most are our advanced AI are chatbots, regurgitated language and ideas from the internet, or who knows from. AI video ended up being a bust, and AI generated video content isn't that fun, creative, or exciting. AI chatbots tend to be useful only for specific things but not things that most average people need them for. For me personally, I've found a lot of creativity and utility in using AI for images and I've sort of gotten a thrill out of doing that since the beginning of AI image generation, but in terms of actually doing anything serious with AI or AI actually becoming a mainstay in peoples' lives, or even buying a CHATgpt subscription? Forget about it. More and more Americans are realizing that if you couldn't do it without AI, having the AI won't really change much for you, in a sense, the AI is overhyped, overplayed, and its so 2000-and late, as the Black Eyed Peas song goes. 

    If you read through this, you're probably pretty smart and a bit of a reader. How does it feel to be smart and read things? Keep playing on the A Team, folks. Thanks for reading. Below are several of the AI images that I've had a lot of fun creating in terms of the word descriptions used to create them, a lot of my prompts are sometimes tons of paragraphs long, much like this sort of spontaneous dialogue online here. Watch this space.

Holidays, End of 2025

Good evening, ladies and gents. I haven't written in a long time so I decided to take some time tonight to jot down some of my thoughts, ideas, activities on everything up to this moment in time-let's say the Holidays and the End of 2025. 

First, I'm glad 2025 is coming to a close. It's been rough for me, and more importantly, for America, and the world, as President Trump is pretty much taking an axe to The Constitution, the Government, and Our Way of Life [in terms of affordability and health insurance/jobs]. I had a bad year, came out of a twelve-year job unemployed for some months, and luckily I was able to land something in the same year because for a while I wasn't sure where I was going to get a job, cash, or even a good hot meal that wasn't ramen with hot dogs. 

And here's the thing, there are many more Americans that were dealt much worse than what I went through. Yeah, I lost my job and had no income for a while, but there are others with families who lost their homes, their jobs, their cars, had to live in shelters or their cars [or warehouses], and are still unable to get into a job. Also, consider the number of people who lost their homes in the Palisades Fire [here in CA]. So yeah, it hasn't been a cakewalk for pretty much every American citizen this year. I know for me personally, this has been the hardest year of my existence out here in California. 

I know for myself personally, I've had to go into hibernation mode and not really go out to too many places or spend too much cash. I only really go to restaurants when I'm spending cash. I haven't been out to the bar or a concert for a year straight. It's a bit like covid 2.0. My new job is okay but they only have limited hours but the volume of work is vast and unwieldy for anyone working there. The work itself isn't hard but the volume is difficult to deal with. This job has drastically changed from the summer up to now, vast changes that have made the work much harder, but I've been hammering through with it, because I know that there aren't really too many other jobs available at this time, and maybe not for months, if not years, especially with this current Administration.

As a result, going into 2026, it doesn't exactly feel great, for me personally, and for all of us Americans. I spent the entire year trying to catch up in terms of my finances and now I'm just barely catching up. And like I said, I think its worse for other Americans with more assets who have families, cars, houses, rent, upkeep, etc. The holidays didn't feel festive this year. My family didn't do gifts at all this year but that's not why it wasn't festive. It wasn't festive because everything has become  much more difficult and we notice it much more often nowadays, everything is out of control in terms of affordability, and things like health insurance might be impossible to get without getting it at a good company job. Like I said, its good to say goodbye to 2025, it was a bad year for our country, for us as Americans, and the word affordability is not a hoax. 

Second, I've been trying to wholly inrich my personal life with lots of literature because otherwise, what's a boy to do? I've been reading a lot and listening to a lot of music-mostly jazz livestreams from a nyc jazz club and a bit of classical like Mozart arias and Bach. I tend to think that without the reading and music my life wouldn't be quite so fun and engrossing. I read 49 books this year, the last book being Charles Dickens, a title called Hard Times, about people living in a lumber mill town. It's dark and gritty but doesn't quite have the strong influential characteristic Dickens voice of say A Tale of Two Cities or David Copperfield, yet it was great. This is an important part. Even when I was at my darkest points this year with little cash, I was still reading, still listening to music, still practicing music, still going to the library. I think that's what kept me resilient, even after going through one of the harder darker chapters of my life out here in California. At one point when it seemed like I wasn't going to find work, I thought about leaving California and moving back to the Midwest, where I'm originally from. But theoretically, it would be difficult to find a job there too, as its a much smaller pool with a lot less resources. You can't really win in terms of the job market right now. And what's crazy is that lots of people I know personally are struggling with work-getting fired, getting laid off, not able to get unemployment, struggling to find another job, forced to work a job that they're overqualified for just to pay rent, etc. The struggle is real right now folks. 

Third, here's a Christmas Eve story for you. I was working my new thrift shop job on Christmas Eve and there was this homeless lady yelling in the front patio area to the side of the front door of our place. A guy was riding his bike past her and she ran and threw him off the bike. He may or may not have been hurt, I didn't really see the full impact of the fall from the cashier stand. 

But he jumped on the homeless women, and beat the crap out of her with his fists pretty hard. He got in maybe 6-7 hard swings on her face, even pushing her down on top of a car while swinging at her. A man from inside my work ran outside and got between them to break up the brawl. The homeless lady sort of came to her senses after that. But Jesus Almighty, what possessed her to tackle a man off his bike? 

I don't condone the man's behavior but you have to admit, if some random lady threw you off your bike, and you were injured, you would probably want to take a few punches to her face, like he did. It was a pretty crazy incident. My co-worker called the cops but they didn't show up. The lady chilled outside for a long time and came inside the store, and just looked around for a bit, bought some clothing, and left. 

I tell this story online as a warning to people who work in stores and retail. At my place I was the only one there after a bit so there's not much I could do. Sometimes when you're dealing with these types of issues you don't want to get involved, especially if you're alone, but sometimes you're going to have to develop psychological tactics in order to deal with this sort of stuff. So when the lady came in I acknowledged her and made her feel welcome but also made her aware that I was there kind of watching. So yeah, that was my Christmas Eve...lol. 

Lastly, I think more and more, I'm beginning to realize that most of the content online in terms of social media, news media, even information from real friends on social media and irl, most information from people you know from your past, now, online, or irl [in real life], I'm beginning to notice that a lot of it is negative based doomer-maxxing sort of content/information. For example, yesterday, I was at the library reading the news and after maybe an hour of reading it, I just felt sick to my stomach, like it was just such awful information to absorb and take in, albeit it may have been important information like about how we were going to rain this week and stuff, although that was one of the less disturbing news even though it sometimes brings mudslides and floods. 

For example, just think about the people you know, knew, work with now/past, family, friends, co-workers, management, a lot of them are telling you some really bad stuff. For example, this might not be the best example, but I remember there were a few girls I was sort of infatuated with even though they didn't really have such nice or great personalities, but I just liked them, and I noticed in a lot of long conversations irl or online, they would often say some messed up stuff to me about myself, my personality, or how I'm too-this or too-that or that's why people don't like me, some kind of messed up doomer-maxxing type stuff. 

This was like a few girls I was in talking stages with. And then I thought maybe I'm the problem? Until I realized that wasn't actually the case, that in actuality everyone's different, and everyone's capable of being an asshole, even when you think they're a pretty girl and should have a nice perky personality. It took me a bit to really understand that. Even girls can be assholes too. I usually prefer to talk to girls and women. Hard lesson on that one, lol. 

Another example of this kind of bad stuff you hear from others is from your management at work. Hardly ever does the Manager or Boss tell you you're doing good, keep it up, and keep bringing the A-Game. Instead, you hear them nagging you, saying you're not doing this, you're not doing that, etc. They're telling you to do it their way and they're changing it all the time and then they're getting mad that you're not getting it, even though they keep changing everything. Another example is family. Family will always be there to tell you you aren't doing enough, you're not good enough, you should do this or you should do that, and then when you try something new they'll tell you, 'you can't be that.' 

In conclusion, I guess the reasons why I'm going into this sort doomer-maxxing type stuff topic is because I notice that this current paradigm of human history is mostly just that. As we go into 2026, you'll begin to realize that genuine people who are good, happy, and have the capacity for happiness have become fewer and fewer in number and you don't really see them in the big crowds or the club or the bar anymore. Maybe you'll only see them online in a post here and there. 

I feel like something has changed. And maybe its not, maybe its not even them, but perhaps just our society as a whole has sort of gone down the drain? You don't wanna go around blaming people even if they are unhappy saps or a-holes or lack a good personality, but after a certain while, if you're one of the good ones, then you're going to have to realize that you and them won't be compatible for long. 

This is a hard lesson for the die-hard good people out there, you know if you know. That girl you liked that called you out numerous times, yeah she's a rotten apple lol. That co-worker that you get along with but who complains to you 24/7, yeah you probably aren't good with that person in the long run. That management that ratted you out and got you fired, yeah there's a special place in hell for that guy. LOL, you get the picture. In a Matrix where everyone is doomer-maaxing/scrolling and complaining about every element of their life, be the child who has his own. 

If you don't hear back from me soon, happy new year! 

November Thoughts

Good day early morning readers. 

Here I'd like to jot down some ideas that I've been thinking about lately or within the last time of writing. First, is it just me or has American society become and/or has always been like a pay-to-play subscription? Hear me out. You have to pay for rent to live in a place if you don't own it, you have to pay for food, you have to pay to go to work if you drive there in your car or even take the bus, you have to pay to go out to bars/clubs if you want easy cheap entertainment, and if you're a homebody you will most likely spend money on streaming services, movies, and/or video game computers and/or systems. So where exactly is America, home of the Brave, right now?

I would say not in good place. Think about everyone you have ever interacted with on a personal level, how are they really doing? Would they be mad to hear that you're doing better than them? In this sort of climate, it's hard to even define what a better life would even be. For me a better life would be playing music in bars, making money off it, and not working a day job. Or perhaps becoming a day writer and somehow writing novels that somehow sell millions of copies. Or even running a small record shop in China or Japan, being the only black guy in a small area. Or, this would ironically be the easiest one, to marry a wealthy girl and still pursue all these other things with her. 

But it seems most people I know or have interacted with on a personal basis are not doing good. Neither am I really. I'm living but I'm not thriving. At this middle age of life, I should be doing a lot more and thriving. Oftentimes, we know what we should be doing but we keep getting distracted in life by various things, people, work, family, and friends that we forget the reasons why we are living and what we should be doing and we're not pursuing our true goals. It's like going to a job, it's good because it provides you money in order to pay rent and buy food but overall, a job isn't going to make you reach your goals faster, in fact, its going to be a hindrance to it. For me, working jobs has slowed down my growth and lowered my ability to be creative and think outside the box. Working, ironically, has become a hindrance to me.

It seems the more people you know now and the more people you knew in the past, the more you know about people, their lives, and their goals, and how and if they go about achieving it. Some people inspire you and you can grow with their help, but only for a little while. Other people are sinking more and more into the abyss, even girls you really like. It's hard to figure out where you stand and everyday is a struggle in order to figure out who you truly are. 

It's hard to figure out if anyone is even real or authentic anymore these days, online especially, but even people you know personally and see day to day, a lot of them are living a lie. I've had a few strange off occurrences that make me truly believe than even some of the people around you who you think are really good people are actually working towards and/or trying to hurt you, defame you, or ruin you behind your back. This is kind of dark but last year I was laid off from my job and when I called the work union about it I told them my situation and they told me that so-and-so, a female manager I worked for six years before this incident, had called them and said something to them about my case, even though she wasn't there, and there's no telling what she might have said, it could've been really negative, thus encouraging them to get rid of me. I only say that because when I asked what she said about me, they said some negative things about it. 

There's a darkside to the soft underbelly of Los Angeles. Like sometimes, people from your past, like past jobs or old friends and acquaintances will want to keep tabs on you but not for good reason. They'll ask you questions about what you're doing, what job you're doing now, and that you should be doing this and that instead, and this and that. And you're just wondering, why does this person want to know all this stuff about me? And it makes you wonder who they're reporting the information to. There's this funny black youtuber I've watched and as he says, "We are trying living in the worst times of history, people showing their horns, its like you're truly alone."

I've seen the darkside of the Los Angeles valley over my entire tenure out here, although technically I'm just visiting from the Midwest. I will probably leave when the time is right. But back to the darkside. I was a part of a small friends group where the leader of the pack, my friend, was sort of going off the rails. He lost his girlfriend, was about to lose his apartment, and pack everything up to leave to go live in a different city, kind of far away. He was doing coke and lsd and weed/beer and just in general very scatterbrained, paranoid, and crazy. I mentioned this to other friends of the group and they told him and he instantly came at me hard and said we can't be friends anymore. This is a guy I was friends with for like ten years. All the guys in the group were friends for at least ten years and when he broke the friendship with me, he must've told them to stop talking to me too, because after that none of them ever responded to my messages and calls, except for one guy in the group. Looking back on it, I think I did a good job warning the other guys that he was on a crazy binge and that they should be weary. If I was a spiritual person, I would say that he was a sort of demon, or possessed. Ironically, I was sort of glad to be rid of him, because being around someone like that isn't fun because they're always only seeing the negativity of life and making you see through their demon-infused lenses. 

I'll leave you with another weary tale. I was at work at this clothing shop gig and this guy called out to me in the storeroom that somebody had taken down the clothes off a manakin [it might've been him]. The guy manakin has like a little junk pouch, so I had to put some pants on it to cover it up. The guy took a picture of the naked manakin and he said, "I'm going to send this to corporate." I said, "Okay," calling his bluff. Then I took some pants and put it on the manakin and he took another picture of me doing that and said "look at this picture, I'll use it to blackmail you," I called his bluff again and just said, "Okay," nonchalantly. Then he proceeded to tell me about how he wanted an item off a manakin and an employee told them they couldn't have it until the manager takes it down at the end of the month. And how he had to go through hoops and make a lot of phone calls to get the clothing off the manakin. Okay, so you get where I'm going with this story. This is a possibly psychotic individual, maybe he's even under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, because usually people don't get to this level of pettiness without being altered by substances. 

Why am I writing about all this? It's mostly a cautionary tale. Not everything is a coincidence. And believe it or not, there are people who are out to get you. I'm not afraid to leave my stoop or anything but I do realize that most of the people in my inner circle that I was actively engaging with and talking to, hanging out with, and meeting with at bars/clubs were in fact bad actors. They might not have been straight up demons [demons are mostly people who don't know you personally] but they had bad intentions, and being around them so often dimmed my light. Not that I'm a saint either, but generally I have a much better more positive attitude than everybody I've ever met. It's nothing special, it's innate. 

Lastly, I guess I write this to say, yeah, we're in dark times. Remain in light. 

October Thoughts

 

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I had a day off from work today and decided to jot down/share some ideas. 

First, ever notice that time is moving way too fast? I spent some time in between jobs and it was like a blur. Now I'm in a new job and every workday just zooms by. I feel like, especially as I get older, that time is increasingly escaping me. Even now, I'm writing this at two in the morning on a weekday day off from work. I usually don't get to stay up this late anymore and its been more difficult to get into the mode for writing asI prefer to do writing late at night. 

There's been a time loop thing ever since covid. Ever since covid time just seems to fly by. I'm struggling to keep up with all my old hobbies and work seems to get even more in the way nowadays with changing shifts from closing nights to opening mornings the next day[s] after. As the Grateful Dead ask in a song, "Where does the time go?" 

Second, I've seen better days, like the song by Smashmouth. "Missed the bus, but I'm in no hurry." It's been harder to stay consistently happy all the time because it seems like everything is turning, "We're turning again," -Zappa. The truth of the matter is that I'm actually doing very well and have most of what I need but there's always that sense that something's missing, or that I'm missing out on stuff.

For example, I like my new job but overall, its somewhat more stressful than what I was doing previously. Also, it's less pay, more responsibility, more stuff and details, and more intimate work setting with co-workers. Not exactly fan favorites of a work environment, especially when you're not running the place yourself as manager. But I'd rather be optimistic about things that aren't going well in this moment. I do realize that I'm doing well, have decent health, and a roof over my head. Sometimes you have to be grateful for what you have even if it could be better. For example, even when I wasn't working for a little while, I wasn't really struggling as much as other people I know, even when those people were employed working at their jobs, they were still doing worse than I was. "Back in the USSR, you don't know how lucky you are, boy." 

Third, I realize that I've kind of been procrastinating and squandering a lot of time. I've been way too involved in online video gaming. However, I've also been reading a lot too. Just before writing this now, I finished reading Leon Battista Alberti On Painting, an amazing historical document written during the Florentine art era. It is an eye-opening read, albeit very intellectual, but difficult to understand because of the historical translation from Latin and Italian into something a modern English reader could understand. Yes, it's readable, but not all of it flows easily into a modern english meaning. Prolix, and way too intellectual in describing art, however, Alberti was almost more of a humanist learner than a painter, and was better at doing architecture. 

Another book I read before that was Herzog by Saul Bellow. It won the U.S. National Book Award for Fiction and the Prix International. This was a great book as it describes the downward spiral of a very Jewish intellectual professor as his wife and kids leave him to shack up with his psychiatrist, ouch. Herzog goes somewhat crazy, manic, and at one point puts his father's old loaded gun into his pocket and goes to visit his ex-wife and pick up the kid. He doesn't do anything with it, but he gets caught with it and booked by the cops. The book even ends on a manic note when he's back at his estate in a remote area, and he hires this nanny to clean up his house, and he's just watching her clean. I had a Jewish best friend that reminds me of Herzog. He had everything he could have wanted at one point and it all just went away and he went into a manic episode. Never saw him again after that. This book was very realistic. 

Lastly, I've been trying to stay focused. I've been reading a lot and listening to a lot of jazz music. I do think I need to lay off the video games for a while to make more time for more creative arts, writing, and music. For example, I'm still interested in AI but have yet to make much progress in AI art or video, mostly because I haven't been devoting too much time to it and I feel like AI has been eclipsed by the commercial state of American advertising through media on the internet, TV, smartphones, and in real life. 

We're so programmed to just buy and consume to make up for our lack of happiness, why would anyone think using AI would make them happy? In a way I would say AI has already been eclipsed by consumerism, even the overconsumption of say right-wing and left-wing news that taken a toll on our society. I do think we as a people, as The Culture, need to become more self-aware of things we're buying and the media we are consuming. 

I know that sounds like a intellectual outsider sort of rant but I think there's something to it there. Like for example, when I mentioned earlier that I've been playing too many videogames, I think the first step is being aware that you're spending too much time on that sort of media consumption, and then going forward you can adjust your plans to do other things and not give all your attention to it. In addition, I mentioned that time seems to be speeding away from me, well, in a way, yes it is. I'm getting older and my health is getting worse here and there. I will use that as motivation to do more of what I really want to do, and spend less time overconsuming digital content. These are basic ideas but not always discussed. Watch this space. 

The owl of Minerva appears at dusk. 

The Downward Spiral of the Times

Hello world. Here I'd like to write an improvisatory speel about the downward spiral of the times we're currently living in, in 2025. 

    First off, this isn't just hard times, this is weird. The amount of division within our society is so bad its almost like civil war in wherever you go, whatever you do, say, or think. That's a bit excessive but just look upon how the Trump administration has handled Charlie Kirk's death. Instead of simply saying prayers for the guy and saying he was cool for right-wingers, they've decided to make the man a martyr for their cause-the right wing agenda. Them doing so has sowed more division and discord, more than even the shooter simply shooting the guy. In fact, right now most people could care less about the shooter and why he did it and they're more focused on the fallout, including the suspension of Jimmy Kimmel for simply mentioning that the shooter maybe was MAGA. 

    Moving on, you'll find that the division doesn't simply stop at politics or the fallout of Charlie Kirk's death. You'll find that you maybe won't be able to get along with certain family members, friends, coworkers, managers, maybe even some stranger will look at you in public with the evil eye for no apparent reason. Now, I'm not saying that everyone hates your guts, but maybe if you're noticing that you're getting more dislike and hate from others around you, you need to realize that sometimes its not you, it's them, it's a symptom of the times that we're currently living in. 

    Next, maybe you've played the good guy so long that you know that there's no way anyone can really truly hate you, well, in this current climate of discord, you'll find that no matter how good of a person you are, you will receive hate from certain individuals around you and even from strangers. I would say you have to trust no one in this particular society and times. In a way you have to even be critical of yourself in certain moments and situations, not just others. You need to be extra critical of the people closest to you, and especially critical of people that know or knew you in the past, and even more critical of strangers, especially in public.  

    In addition, I'm a person consuming a lot of media. I'm on YouTube, video games, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, NyTimes, LAtimes, washington post, MSNBC, and a lot of the media people are consuming may not be good for you. In fact, a lot of media out there is downright brain rot. I don't want to be too critical of the news here as I think more young people need to watch/read the news, but I've noticed that a lot of the left wing news media has turned more to the right, which is a bit alarming. Especially since the Kirk incident. 

    Lastly, people that disagree with you, call you out and condemn you in super harsh ways for lightly expressing your opinions are probably the most dangerous to you. We all have a right to share our thoughts and express our opinions and if somebody doesn't like what you have to write/say, then there's plenty of other media for them to go to. But in today's age, you'll find that you personally won't really be able to fully express yourself anymore. Part of it is the fact that simply saying what you truly think or believe is dangerous, and the other part of it is that people that don't like it will hurt/harm you for doing so, if they are so inclined. 

    In conclusion, I would go so far as to say that most people out there [including friends/family/people that used to/know you now/meet in the future] will end up screwing you over and backstabbing you if you aren't watching closely and take a step away from them. Trust me, this happened to me with countless friends, family, managers/jobs, my old work union, and even newer current people in my life. I hate to say it but it's going to get worse. Try to find some peace. Peace is the way. 

Watch this space. 

New Horizons, Incoming Labor Day Weekend

 

Hello world. How are you doing? It seems like the world has changed so much since even the last post early this month about the novel Three Body Problem. I was reading a lot of novels nonstop. In fact, this year, since January, I've read 25 novels. In addition, I've started using ChatGPT consistently. I try not to  use it as a crutch for writing and/or actual ideas I have but rather as a sort of backup/double check on certain things. 

For example, today my friend came over and was having an issue connecting his laptop to the internet web browser, and I asked it a few questions about possible fixes and troubleshooting. I also use it for questions about novels and albums of particular jazz artists and Zappa albums. It's gotten to the point where I'm using it more than google, which is downright fascinating but I'm aware that I'm becoming attached to it a bit too much. For example, I wouldn't want to use ChatGPT to write this blog post. That would be a bridge too far. 

Moving on, what I'm mainly posting about today is more about a change of seasons. I moved on from my retail grocery job of twelve years and am now working at a thrift shop. It's not a glamorous job but it is a big change and there is room for advancement into management in the future. Pay is what the market will bear but the hours are reasonable and usually I get home around 9 pm. That is a huge plus for me because at the grocery job I was working till 1 am nearly every night for twelve years. So there's some good change here. 

In addition, the place is small, only has a few employees [but will be hiring more soon], and you answer to one main manager, and another bigger manager above him. My coworkers are very nice and they've done their best to train me my first two weeks so far. There's still certain things I need to go over and really get down better but overall I really like the work. There's a cashiering element to the job but it's not as intense as grocery store cashiering. There's a daily nightly report that gets emailed to the bigger manager that I have to learn to write faster and get down better. But overall, it's a job, with opportunities for advancement, and because it's not a glamorous job, I think there's safety there. 

Also, I think I lucked out with this job because right now the job market is cooked, as Gen Z says. There was a report in the nytimes about how this past month, in New York there was only 1,000 jobs added, which is insane, because I think there are more people in New York than in LA, so we're probably not doing too well with adding and filling jobs in LA either. 

Moving on, I got laid off from my grocery store job back in January, around the beginning of that month. Keep in mind that I didn't quit or want to leave. They sort of forced me out, a sort of forced being laid off. So I've been unemployed for seven months. It was a rough period. I would say it was second worst time of my entire life. I went through a lot of severe depression and had constant nightmares. For about three of those months I could barely get out of bed.

My daily routine consisted of getting up as early as I could, cleaning up, looking/applying to jobs online, going to places in person and handing out my resume and asking if they're hiring [which most managers didn't really appreciate], and getting tons of rejection emails. Out of about 65 jobs, [15-20 of them being the same job applied to more than once over a period of a couple months], I got four job interviews, went to three of them, and got the fourth one at this thrift store. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to stay in retail grocery because that's my primary job experience but it just didn't work out. In fact, the first three interviews were all at grocery stores, and I think I would've been a bit happier at a grocery store but again, it didn't work out. So this is the next step going forwards. 

Lastly, as the job market, economy, government, immigration system, and healthcare system collapse all around me, all I have to say is that as bad as those seven months being unemployed were, it actual wasn't as bad as it could've been. I had some savings to buy food and live on. I've spent a lot of money on that and want to replenish some of my savings with this new job. But more importantly than saving money or having money, I think right now just having a job is more important than ever. 

I don't want to be all about doom and gloom but the system is collapsing. It has been for a while but most people are in denial about it and the government/news never say that we're in a bad depression right now. I think its a lot worse than it looks. There was a shooting at a Catholic school yesterday that ended with the loss of two young lives, that shook the nation. I don't think it will get better and I don't think there will be gun reform as a result of this incident. 

In the worst of my moments being unemployed I seriously thought about giving up my groovy lifestyle in California to go back to the Midwest and live with my Mom, and help her out, especially now that she's getting older. With the way things are going for me here, I still might do that in the end. I've found that people I knew and know here in California were nice people at the time and we might have been friends for a while, but not every friendship lasts. I happen to think that the friends I made out here in California are much more narcissistic than my friends from the Midwest. Not only friends but a lot of managers at the retail grocery job were narcissistic as well. It kind of makes you wonder if there's something in the air here in California? 

Watch this space.    

Eliot's Renaissance Tempest: Romola's Moral Crucible

 

First, it may be surprising that, George Eliot, famous writer of 19th century English novels wrote one novel about the Renaissance period. Romola is George Eliot's fourth novel, a significant departure from all her other novels. Romola is set in Florence in the 15th century of Niccolo Machiavelli, [he's a minor character in the book], during Christian religious leader Savonarola's rise. 

George Eliot took meticulous notes on the Renaissance period for this novel and dives in deep to explore the themes of humanism and psychological human struggles. This is most likely Eliot's most intellectual novel, whereas her more popular books like Middlemarch and Mill On the Floss focus more on the intimate social realism of rural England in the 19th century, the core of all her writing and style. However, for the curious western canon reader, this book is not only important, but is a must read.

Second, Eliot uses the world of 15th century Renaissance Italy as more than a backdrop, it is a protagonist, the city itself comes alive almost like a character. This is one of Eliot's strongest stylistic writing skills. The political machinations of the city have it come alive like a person. The Medici's versus republicans, artististic ferment, impassioned religious leaders [Savonarola], and the passion of learning, ambition, and decline. The setting is important for the characters because it helps to explore the themes of humanism, faith, individualism, and communal duty. 

Third, Romola's journey from naive helper-scholar to her blind father to adept Holy Madonna is not only inspiring, it is downright transformative. Romola is one of Eliot's most well thought out characters, like Tito, her husband. Her duties were initially to help her blind-scholar father, her god-father, and her husband Tito, who she marries, but along the way she finds herself in struggle and contradiction. As every powerful character in Eliot's novels, she has to make tough decisions in order to find meaning in her life. She might be the most powerful and transformative character in Eliot's writings. 

Fourth, Tito Melema. Tito is a remarkable villain and, one of the best villains in Eliot's work. He's good looking, tall, dark, personable, intellectual, ambitious, but he's also backstabbing [marrying a peasant girl behind Romola's back and having two kids with her], he's so ambitious to the point of getting too involved in the internal politics of Italy [thus garnering him enemies], he backstabs his father who adopted him as a child, and because of that, his father ends up getting his revenge. Tito's Father's revenge is ultimately satisfying although not quite as action packed as one would think it would be. Most writers will never be able to write a better villain. If Romola represents Life and Holy Goodness, then Tito is Death and Intellect. 

Moving on, Savonarola plays a big role in the stage because of his strong religious fervor and influence. He's reacting against corruption of politics and the church, offering a powerful vision of moral renewal in Florence, Italy. You could say that because of Eliot's ideas on religion, she always has strong ideas of religious characters, ideas, and influence. You can say that she never has anything bad to say about religion. The role on religion on Romola is immense, to the point where in the end she finds a village suffering from the plague, and she ends up helping and saving a lot of them, thus becoming a Holy Madonna. 

Finally, putting it all together. Eliot's dense, allusive, descriptive, intellectual writing style in a psychologically penetrating prose style is what makes this book an amazing read. She's able to successfully and accurately use historical notes and detail without losing the narrative flow or psychological state of the characters. Her characteristic philosophical concerns are explored through this unique renaissance prism. The novel is considered Eliot's least popular novel and it was received with mixed reviews, but reading it in 2025 feels as fresh as a daisy, and I believe its a must read for the western canon list. 

In conclusion, like many historical novels of the western canon, this novel has epic scope. When the fires of belief and lightning of new ideas clash across Renaissance Florence, testing one woman's soul as kingdoms fall and fanatics rise, George Eliot's Romola forges a story so powerful it echoes through centuries, standing forever as a towering testament to how we hold onto what's true when the whole world shakes. The novel begs to ask the question, "How do we find meaning in our lives?" You could say that is what every George Eliot novel is really about.

Summertime, and The Living is Easy

Good evening, ladies and gents. Back at it with another writing experience, writing about life.

Times have been rough. I've been unemployed for about five months. I was recommended a cashier job at a grocery store from a co-worker from the job I got let go from and it ended up not working out. In addition, I went on an interview for another cashier job at a different grocery store and didn't get the job. I'm trying my best but getting a little discouraged, realizing that getting a job will be a lot harder than I thought. The job market is getting increasingly more difficult and I'm finding that AI is involved in the hiring process, making it harder to land the job. 

The first couple months I got let go, or technically, fired, from my retail grocery job of twelve years, I was pretty depressed. I started sleeping in till 3 or 4 PM and although I was still applying and going into businesses to checkout jobs, my mind was in the gutter. I was finally able to overcome that depression by setting up an earlier schedule and staying consistently busy throughout the day.

Usually this entailed waking up, cleaning up, and searching for jobs online everyday and applying to as many jobs that were suitable to me as possible. Then I make lunch. And do some reading and going out to the library. Then coming home and getting some dinner with family. At first, my stepdad was upset I got fired and he was almost equally mad at the fact that my managers I worked with for twelve years didn't have my best interests at heart. But you know, as they say, c'est la vie. Nowadays, my stepfather is more easy going about what I'm going through right now, because he knows that the job market is tough, and doesn't want me to end up working in a warehouse breaking my back or flipping burgers at McDonalds, lowering my ranking on a resume. He still believes in me, oddly enough, and that I can pull myself into another decent cashier position. Luck of the draw, he says.

As for myself, I'm not really quite sure. I have enough cash for food and rent for now but I'm noticing more and more that as gen z'ers say, this job market is cooked. We're cooked. Things are so bad that my co-worker from the last job that tried to get me a job at this different grocery store says that I should try to apologize my way back to my old position, which sounds like a terrible idea, although a manager said I was probably blacklisted when my brother asked them about it. So I'm not really sure when I'll land a job or if I will find employment anytime soon. Things are sad right now in that aspect. I'm pretty upset at the entire situation but being angry or trying to get back at people who misused and abused me in the old workplace isn't the answer.

In the meantime, I'm trying to find peace and balance in the universe. I'm reading a lot, going to the library, still searching for jobs, and now finally tonight, getting back into writing. In addition, I created a Substack, which is sort of like a social media for intellectuals and sharing ideas and writing. At some point when I build an audience on there, I'll probably charge a small subscription fee per month, try to add some coffee money to my wallet. 

Lastly, in other news, this second Trump administration has been the worst years of my living in the United States, and in my life. My actual life is comfortable and I have food and rent money but the future is more and more uncertain and I have no means of employment, most of my friends are marginals, my only good work contact couldn't help me out as much as she wanted to, I can't afford to move out or strike out anywhere on my own, we're basically in world war 3, there are Ice Raids here in LA and I have a hispanic name, I live with family, and I can't get a job. Things could be a lot better and I wonder what will happen in even say three months time. But hey, it's summertime, and the living is easy. [I got it so bad, I got it good.]  

The Rise and Decline of the American Empire

It's Saturday, May 3, 2025, 2:02 am. Here, I'd like to jot down some notes on life in America, at this current juncture in history. 

Donald Trump has enacted many tariffs and we're in and have been in various trade wars, notably with China. The President doesn't usually have the power to enable all these tariffs at one moment but he's been given the power by the republican controlled House and Congress. I'm not sure if these tariffs are part of Project 2025, but it seems like it could be, and many MAGA-republicans and Trump fans seem to like the idea and be for it, despite the fact that there isn't one economist out there that says this is a good plan for America going forward. 

The basic idea is that most countries haven't been paying their fair share towards America, and that all these tariffs will even the playing field. Except that's not how it works and its a stupid idea and it's already causing havoc across the land. I would say right now is another turning point in American history. This is like COVID-19 back in 2020, when the economy took a major crash. This is like America in 2008 before the market crash and we had some 10 years of austerity. 

But wait, it gets worse! Not only is Trump doing tariffs and trade wars, he's also utilizing Elon Musk and his DOGE, and Kennedy Jr., to do mass layoffs of federal and health employees, something to the tune of 10,000 employees. And these aren't temporary layoffs, folks. On top of that he's gutting and cutting the Department of Education. So there's various things going on, probably too many to count and/or mention in one small blogpost. 

So right now, you could say we're living in the Decline of the American Empire. Perhaps even saying that is too generous and it's possible we're already some 5-10 years into the Decline of American Empire. Tariffs aren't going to bring back jobs, especially manufacturing jobs, as Trump says. Those jobs are gone forever. We've become a full service economy so in America we just don't build things. We're not known for that anymore. 

Knowing that we're in the decline, what can we really do? We can stay informed and up to date on the daily news but even knowing this, we already know that things are bad. But nothing will change. We've become complacent, so complacent, that unless Donald Trump is removed by the rule of law [impeachment], then every democrat will just go along with whatever's going on even though they know that it is morally wrong. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a progressive, although probably more moderate than most of them, but I must say, the democrats haven't done much to combat the effectiveness of Donald Trump and the so-called Project 2025 project. I thought it was amazing to see Senator Cory Booker stand up and talk about how bad Trump made everything for 25 hours, and it was a great thing that so many Americans are protesting every weekend since this first 100 days of Trump's presidency, but I don't see those things as effective enough to make a difference in Washington, and most importantly, it's not stopping or hindering Trump. You can only do so much through demonstrations, protests, and walkins/walkouts. The best means of change is through legislative law and/or action. 

So what we're seeing now is the downfall of America and all its institutions of government. And guess what, there's probably nothing we can do to stop it. Why? Because things have been set in motion that can't be undone. Even if Trump loses and we elect a democrat it will take many years to undue that damage that Trump's done. 

What I see right now in the real world, offline, in the streets, in businesses, at work [when I was working], is that people are isolating themselves into small bubbles, small groups in order to better isolate themselves and their families via their wealth, probably from the impending doom of this economic fallout from these tariffs. I think it's probably even worse than what they're reporting on TV, and I believe even economists might not know how bad it could get. But hey, it's not like I'm completely surprised, this is Donald Trump, and we know he loves tariffs. 

But anyways, staying on point, once you start walking around more and more in your little town or big town in some cases, you'll start to realize people are isolating themselves more, they're not going outside of their comfort zone as much, they're not going out as much, they've become ensconced in their religious groups, work/occupation groups, and family groups, and they're not really looking at the larger group or community anymore. You might meet some friends and associates through work for example, but for the most part they stick to these particular cliques, groups of association, and everything outside of that is forbidden. Why is that?

I see it as another sign of the decline of the American Empire. People will not leave their selected group and/or tribe, whatever it may be, out of fear, fear, for whatever reason keeps them locked into these small isolated groups or tribes, and when the people as a whole, for example in your town, are completely divided into small groups, it is in this particular formation, that nothing good and no improvements, and nothing will get done to improve your town or area, government, and looking at the bigger picture, the national government. 

Thanks for sticking with me this far, I swear there's a point to this. This is where all my fiction reading comes to play. Once everybody is divided into their smaller groups, it doesn't matter where they get their information or even if the information is true, because it won't matter because all these various groups will already be decided on every issue and these splintered off groups, they eventually lead to syndicate type formations that will rule and divy up everything in your town. Groups that may have even started as 'good groups' meant to better their small niche communities but eventually go rogue and become bad groups due to all the other groups doing the same thing. As you can see this won't end well.

I've rambled a lot here, but I hope I make sense. You really can't explain this in an easy way because you really can't make this stuff up. I was ousted out of a work organization [retail grocery] for pretty trivial reasoning from my store director, after 10 years of loyal hard work and service. I'm not saying everyone should start drinking coffee and reading Saarte and become progressive but even within that organization I saw these sort of bread and butter syndicate type of thinking and behavior from members of the staff, including low level employees, middle managers, and store leaders. After all that hard work and time put in, the members within that community didn't reach out to me or ask about what happened. In the end, we're all replaceable, me, you, everyone. I guess that's what makes this moment strike fear into the hearts of the American people. We don't know what will happen, why it will happen, or if we will even have jobs in the short to long term, let alone planning for investments. 

I guess this is the part where I tell you the bad guys won. Our God isn't coming to save us, our parents can't help us, our institutions/government/education have failed us, and our places of employment see us as easily replaceable despite loyalty, hard work, and dedication.

As Hobbes would say, "it's everyman for himself and God against all."