The Heat Death of the Universe

Summer is here and the time is right, for dancing in the street. Dancing in the street! No, just kidding. I actually don't dance but I have gone to the club on a few occasions to do just that. What this post is actually about is working all day in 100 degrees California summer heat.

I've been back at work for only two days so far but both days were all day ventures doing work outside; carts and cart handle cleaning duty. Both require a lot of strength, endurance, and will power to complete without being overly tired when you get home. So, without further adieu, here are tips and tricks for working all day in the California summer sun, or as I like to call it, the heat death of the universe. 

1) Drink water: Okay, so this is a given. But only you personally know how much water you need at any specific time. Maybe you only need one bottle of water and that will last you 3 hours, perhaps you drink one bottle and you feel thirsty again 10 minutes later. This depends on the individual. When you're working outside you don't want to be going in and out to the bathroom all day. So you want to drink water and/or other drinks but drink them conservatively. For example, I'll chug a bottle of water when I'm super thirsty but only drink small amounts when I've got more energy. 

2 a) Move your body and do all physical tasks with no tension in the body, likewise, breathe easy breaths: Alright, so this is probably the most difficult bullet point because most people who work outside all day do physical labor that requires a lot of strength and endurance. It's easier said than done but essentially all you're doing is standing, walking, moving, and doing all your tasks with the least amount of effort, resulting in a relaxed body, easing all tensions. This is where Flanders comes in with his famous Simpsons line, "It's almost as if I'm wearing, nothing at all." 

2 b) The other part is breathing. This is the most complicated part of this post because there isn't any one true, right, or wrong way to breathe. What works for me when I'm out in the blazing sun is that I'm so calm and relaxed, that it's almost as if I'm not breathing. Of course, I actually am, it's just that I'm breathing such small, shallow, but essential breaths that I don't even realize it, feel it or think about it. What helped me a lot with this is actually meditation, guitar sessions, and live performances in front of people where I had to calm nerves by controlling my breathing. When I used to have more time for meditation I would exclusively focus on my breathing and do variations of breathing. Try breathing exercises and see what works for you. This is what works for me. Now I feel as if I'm a fish in water. "I dreamt I was a butterfly."  

3) Don't think too much; Thinking a lot requires energy, which we want to conserve as much as possible. This is where your zen training from meditation and breathing comes in. No matter how boring the work outside is, you can't eventually realize that this is boring, this sucks, and start thinking about a million other things. If you do that, then your head isn't in the game. If your head isn't in the game you're using energy to think about other stuff. The energy used in thinking about other stuff will whittle you down until you forget about the work you're doing, resulting in a piss poor job done.  "You're fired!"

4) Lastly, get plenty of rest. Even if you do all this stuff perfectly you will still be tired eventually even if it's two days later. For me, I don't get tired the day I work. For others, they might get tired sooner, or perhaps later if they are a super physically fit Superman. The point is that you want your muscles to be relaxed and have no tension every day that you work. The only way to achieve this Herculean task is by making sure you get plenty of rest. I recommend sleeping 6 1/2, 7 1/2, to 8 hours every night. Doing more makes me groggy. Doing less makes me think too much and have little strength. I recommend drinking chamomile tea before bed to relax the nervous system and fall asleep more easily. Other people that are so inclined might want to smoke some marijuana or have a shot of liquor. Whatever works best for you. Just make sure to get plenty of rest. 

 "Here comes the Sun King...Everybody's happy..."

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse Virus pt.1

So things have been pretty crazy as of late. Yes, I know that sounds like a broken record at this point. But this is unprecedented. I've never seen anything like this my entire life. This is what it's like during wartime by the way for all you youngsters out there. I've decided I'm going to start a series about life during the virus. Really get into the nitty-gritty details. Some of it might be a bore but nonetheless, I think it's an important time to write down all our thoughts on digital paper [ :D ] while the crisis goes on. Who knows,  maybe it will be of use to us as a record. Life during the New Dark Ages. I coined that term first. You read it here first folks. 

Okay, so I've decided on calling the coronavirus the zombie apocalypse virus because for one thing it just sounds way cooler. Much sexier. Yes, I know that corona apocalypse has been trending on Twitter but let's face it folks, that name sucks. The zombie apocalypse virus is better. Because essentially that's sort of what it's like. Sure there are no real zombies walking around but the fact that there are people who have the virus who don't know they have the virus makes them a lot like zombies. And the fact that the elderly are at risk too. Zombies would love killing old people. Oh, the humanity! 

But seriously! Okay, so work has been pretty intense the last two weeks straight. Just in case you're new here, I work retail at a grocery store. Yeah, I know, hard to believe a guy who works retail spends all his time reading science fiction and philosophy. 

We've been swamped with so many freakin' customers nonstop. The first two weeks were absolutely nuts. No carts, no wipes by the door, no bags for the groceries to be put into, no water, no wipes, no sanitizer, no toilet paper, and that was just the first two weeks. We could barely get the customers out and sometimes the wait times were 20 mins or longer. 

The parking lot is a disaster zone. You can't even walk out into the parking lot without possibly getting run over. People are in mass pandemic panic mode right now. It's scary. Ce la vie, that's life. Keep in mind that they just closed another branch of our store down the street so we have all this increased traffic from that recently closed store. Adding to that is the fact that our store is also remodeling the store every night for the next two months. Bad timing! 

So two weeks of this go by. The workers are exhausted. Management doesn't have a clue what they're dealing with. Especially with the sickness and/or spread of it. Enter week three. The store runs out of most items. Most items. Almost all the shelves in the store are empty. Everyday. All-day. The only time we can restock the shelves is at night when the store is closed. The solution? We open later and close earlier. New emergency coronavirus store hours: 8am to 8pm, every day, indefinitely. This is every grocery chain out here by the way. Oh, boy!

Despite the fact that the store is closing early every night, management is still making a lot of the staff stay late during the evenings, some of us as late as 1am, which is my normal gig at that little store. We clean, grab all the carts in the parking lot, take out the garbage, and put all the gobacks back where they belong. It ain't much but it's honest work. There's a real art to the gobacks work now. With almost all the items gone, mia from the shelves, you have to match all the items with the UPC code stickers and find the items that way. It's a bitch. I don't even think upper management would have the patience for that kind of work. They would say it's beneath them. Or perhaps they would get frustrated instantly with how tedious it truly is? You decide. Either way, it's definitely one way of making us work hard for our paycheck.   

The one thing that is very scary about the retail gig and the zombie apocalypse virus going on at the same time is the fact that there's a reported case of the virus at a hospital nearby, and I'm in physical contact with all these customers, potentially an unlimited amount every day I work and continue to work, and potentially unlimited items every item that I touch every time I work. The reality of the matter is that nobody in my town except the one case has been tested so even if they show symptoms they can just ignore going to the doctor, keep living their lives, and nobody would be the wiser. What a sick twisted turn of fate.  At first, it was a comedy, now it is a tragedy.

Luckily I finally found some gloves that I can start wearing for my shift tomorrow. I've been washing my hands like crazy, drinking vitamin C supplements every day, and wearing a hat and sweater outdoors so I don't get sick. Even having a regular cold/flu at this time is horrible as it would look bad at the store when customers come in contact with me. Even my coworkers wouldn't like it.  The world goin' crazy.

Every day I look at the world from outside my window. I flip open my computer and read the latest news about the virus. I read slowly so I can understand every little detail. None of it is good. Nothing is getting better. It's only getting worse. The governor just announced that he's closing all bars and limiting numbers of peoples at restaurants and/or just closing them down. The elderly have been ordered to stay indoors as they are the most vulnerable. And possibly the most pigheaded and stubborn. Because I saw a lot of old people at work today. Very sickly old people. Not good. 

When we survive this it will be like a new age of enlightenment. People will all of a sudden become wiser, more humble, nicer, more serious. They won't go out for frappes as much. It will take losing a lot of happiness from social gatherings, a broken economy, and a quartine to bring the world to a better fate. I hope. 

This will be an ongoing series. Welcome to the New Dark Ages. If you catch the zombie apocalypse virus you will be quarantined for 14 days. Even if you don't get it your city might have to quarantine anyways. Don't touch your face. Wash your hands. What a way to live. In the end, the world doesn't end with us saving the girl in some war-torn country. Instead, we get super sick and pass it on to others. Oh, the irony!   

Welcome to the machine.