Hyperbolic Time Chamber

Hello, everybody, Que Tal? May has been a slow blogging month for me. Just taking it day by day, taking it slow, like a sloth. I've written a lot on the blog about time, how time seems to have different states; slow, fast, constant, stopped, nonexistent, perpetual. What does time feel like during COVID to you? 

For me time seems to be in a vacuum. By that I mean that time seems to have slowed down exponentially, perhaps it's even stopped sometimes. Yes, things are happening in the world, more Americans dying and getting infected, for one thing, the biggest and most important story right now, but there's also our own small, yet still equally important personal lives, meager as they seem.

It's a given that those that get to work from home during COVID are privileged. Hell, I think I'm privileged because of the fact that I have enough money to take two months off from work. As a result, the last two months have been the slowest days of my entire life.

Now, is that good or bad, or is there neither praise nor blame attached? Well, it's good because I get to practice my skills, however meager in the nonexistent economy they may be; guitar playing, writing and reading literature. It's bad because all the extra free time conduces me to spend copious amounts of video game hours just messing around. On the other side of this spectrum, one could say that it doesn't matter much but obviously that's just a cop-out.

The best thing about lockdown during COVID for me other than the fact that I've been away from work for two months after having worked seven years straight with hardly any vacations is that I've been able to develop even more of an interior life. What am I talking referring to?

Interior life is the life you live inside yourself without others. Do you constantly need to be around other people more often than not? Are you uncomfortable with being alone in a room by yourself, doing nothing, in particular, just relaxing, perhaps reading or staring at a wall? Interior life can only be improved upon with you knowing that you don't need to be around other people all the time. You have to have alone time to gather your thoughts, energy, and focus on the tasks at hand, which is important to you and you only. Or are you constantly searching for that something, like an affirmation or anything else, to always be around other people for various reasons? This concept also applies to the online world as well. Think about how many people keep checking their notifications on social media apps all day. They do this because they get pleasure from seeing notifications, a shot of dopamine. If you want to develop the interior life you should not check your social media or smartphone notification apps all day. Put a limit on it.

Interior life isn't easy to develop. For me, it started with my solo guitar practice sessions, long reading sessions, and epic pug [pick up group] online gaming sessions. For you, it could develop in various ways that are more personable to you and your life.

In case I didn't explain clearly enough, the interior life is a sort of spiritual, not just a regular solo experience. Reading the news every day online is part of my interior life. When I read the news after I wake up in the morning, I feel a sense of urgency to see what all the news headlines are, and read them, and make my own assessments based on said articles. When I do this, I go into a flow state, a similar flow state I go into when I practice guitar; where time and space ceases to exist, and I enter a state of simply 'being,' the more you do these sorts of things, the more you develop this flow state, which will help you in nearly every aspect of your life.

One of the subtle ways of developing an interior life that has improved my friendships and relationships is that I know when to back away from people socially, to allow and give them space. When I'm in a setting where there are more than two people I know what questions to ask, when to lay out and listen, and when to let the others talk more so than myself. In short, it's improved my social skills a lot as well as giving me a guiding light in my personal free time.

Now, going back to the beginning. The snake eats its tail, as they say. At this point of the pandemic journey, and my own personal journey alongside it, I would say that it has been my interior life that has saved me from sheer agony or perhaps one could call it the killing boredom; the loss of in-person hangouts, not eating at restaurants with my family or friends, not playing open mics, not hanging out with girls, even not working for two months straight.

It was the interior life that shackled time and allowed me to do my thing and free myself. In these daunting times, it was just the thing I needed. A hyperbolic time chamber.

Working for Something

Just read a short blog post that inspired me to write another vlog style motivational post. What are you working for? Most of us have jobs so that we can spend our free time doing the things we want. Leisure and all that jazz. However, because we only have one life we have to make use of our free time wisely. 

For example, I stopped playing video games hardcore and now I have a lot more free time for reading books-news-articles, listening to music,  playing guitar, and hanging out with my friends. I stopped hanging out with my friends more than three times a week because I realized that we need more space and time between us. Absence makes the heart fonder.

At the end of my workday [1 AM shift, been on this schedule for 6 years now], all I really have time or energy for is to read books, write, and possibly play guitar [I need to play more, but that's another post]. I wouldn't even have the energy to stay up all night to play video games because I'm already staying up half the night ending my work shift, and then reading until I crash and fall asleep. 

What am I working towards? Generally speaking, I'm working towards enjoying leisure reading as well as increasing my education through great books, weather they are science fiction, classics, philosophy, history, historical fiction, and poetry. I'm also working towards becoming a better writer. Lastly, I'm working towards increasing my musical chops, learning Sequenza by Berio, as well as learning more jazz standards. It's a lot. 

There are other goals I have that seem more difficult. Like finding a girlfriend. However, the goals I have now are things that I love and would be happy to keep working on 5-10 years from now. Most of my free time needs to be spent in gainful activity. I have an addictive personality and I'm wired most of the time. Once I start something, I really get into it, mastering every bit and piece of it, until I can call myself some kind of master, even if not a 'true' master of said art. I've been doing this with the guitar, with reading novels and trying to with writing. 

I've got to keep pushing myself. You've only got one life to live. If you work hard to get just a little slice of heaven, then you need to make sure every visit is worth it when you get to the Gate. 

How do I play video games with no time?

 

Ah, the age old question. How do I play video games with no time? This is a hard question to answer. I recently got promoted at my job which gives me more daytime hours but leaves me with only a little bit of night and only a little bit of daytime before work. It's been very difficult to fit in gaming, if I get to even game at all. In fact, I've been doing more social media, listening to music, and hanging out with my friends more so than gaming. I haven't even played World of Warcraft for over a week now and just a week ago I was playing everyday. I'm quite saddened by this of course...lol.

Now to answer the question. If you don't have time but you want to play video games you must use your time wisely and focus on the games that you like the most. For me that means booting up Heroes of the Storm at least once a day and grinding out the daily quests for gold. Right now I really need the gold (15k gold) to unlock the next new hero (Kel'Thuzad from Warcraft 3, and yes I'll write a post about him soon). So that means everyday logging on and playing one or two matches. Simple enough. It's fast, easy, fun. I get to play a game and work on grinding gold for a new hero without spending real money. Another game I've been playing that's super satisfying without playing for hours is Team Fortress 2 and Terraria. I've been playing with a real life friend of mine so its even more fun. These kind of games give you a lot of reward for little playtime. Naisu!

That's the answer really. Using your time to just focus on a game(s) you really like and playing just a bit. Real life takes up more and more time the older we get and the more responsibilities we have. I'm still using a lot of my time arranging jam sessions with musicians, actually going out and jamming with people, and of course practicing guitar. I do a lot of activities in addition to my job so it really takes a lot out of me. After work I'm usually pretty tired but that doesn't stop me from playing games, guitar, or hanging out with friends. Work hard, play hard! Time management is the probably the most difficult thing in life, especially as we get older. Remember games are made to have fun. They will still be there tomorrow.