Working for Something

Just read a short blog post that inspired me to write another vlog style motivational post. What are you working for? Most of us have jobs so that we can spend our free time doing the things we want. Leisure and all that jazz. However, because we only have one life we have to make use of our free time wisely. 

For example, I stopped playing video games hardcore and now I have a lot more free time for reading books-news-articles, listening to music,  playing guitar, and hanging out with my friends. I stopped hanging out with my friends more than three times a week because I realized that we need more space and time between us. Absence makes the heart fonder.

At the end of my workday [1 AM shift, been on this schedule for 6 years now], all I really have time or energy for is to read books, write, and possibly play guitar [I need to play more, but that's another post]. I wouldn't even have the energy to stay up all night to play video games because I'm already staying up half the night ending my work shift, and then reading until I crash and fall asleep. 

What am I working towards? Generally speaking, I'm working towards enjoying leisure reading as well as increasing my education through great books, weather they are science fiction, classics, philosophy, history, historical fiction, and poetry. I'm also working towards becoming a better writer. Lastly, I'm working towards increasing my musical chops, learning Sequenza by Berio, as well as learning more jazz standards. It's a lot. 

There are other goals I have that seem more difficult. Like finding a girlfriend. However, the goals I have now are things that I love and would be happy to keep working on 5-10 years from now. Most of my free time needs to be spent in gainful activity. I have an addictive personality and I'm wired most of the time. Once I start something, I really get into it, mastering every bit and piece of it, until I can call myself some kind of master, even if not a 'true' master of said art. I've been doing this with the guitar, with reading novels and trying to with writing. 

I've got to keep pushing myself. You've only got one life to live. If you work hard to get just a little slice of heaven, then you need to make sure every visit is worth it when you get to the Gate. 

Be Tough-Minded In 2019

This is a continuation of my previous post (view here), it was about staying motivated in 2019. Here I'd like to continue that discourse, shifting the motivational stuff to how being more tough-minded helps you achieve your goals. Being tough-minded is difficult and most people aren't naturally this way. However, its a useful skill in the long run that will help you throughout your life.

1) You have to manage your emotions. This goes without saying to most people, especially old people who are much more experienced and evolved, they are true masters of mastering their emotions. When things don't go your way you shouldn't throw a tantrum. Realize that although life is difficult, sometimes you have to suffer a little bit before you can get to the good stuff. When I see co-workers and customers yelling at each other at my work I often think about how these people will never be able to do or accomplish complex things, only just because they can't control their emotions (the price said this and its not ringing up right! fix it while I scream!), and they don't have the patience. Its a shame.

2) Be self-confident. Goes without saying but again, super difficult. Most people aren't born naturally confident. Its a learned skill, especially for me. Even though I'm probably smarter than most of all the people that come to my work (including adults), I'm usually quiet and reserved, to the point that some people even say I need more confidence. Go figure. 

3) Choose who you associate with wisely. I've actually come to the sudden realization that although I love hanging out with my friends, I hang out with them too much. The solution was to spend more time by myself reading, writing, and playing guitar. Absence makes the heart fonder. Also, make sure to avoid sketchy people. Some people aren't worth the time or the effort, especially if they bring you down. 

4) Face your fears and take action. Sometimes you gotta man up and take action. Not feeling work? Ask for some time off. Need to lose weight? Work out more. Want a girl friend? Start asking out girls. Sometimes we think we have all these problems and we dwell over them, but forget about how easy the solutions are. Nike, Just Do It.  

5) Say no when you have to. Tired of your boss calling you in early everyday? Learn to say no. Learn to establish the narrative on your own terms. Tired of helping your co-workers do their own job? Say no to them too. Saying no helps because it shows people that you're not a pushover and shouldn't be approached with unreasonable demands. 

6) Be self-disciplined. You have to work hard to accomplish things. I read a lot of books and blog about them. This alone takes a lot of discipline. Most millennials don 't care much for novels but I'm trying to be a different breed. To be a great guitar player I have to keep practicing, even though I'm currently not playing with any band I still keep up my chops, learn new songs, and am always searching for band members. 

7) Be independent and don't compare yourself to others. You came into this world alone, and you will leave this world alone. That's a bit morbid but in a way its true. You have to learn how to be alone in order to be successful in social situations. In addition, don't compare yourself to others. Just because my friend Jon from high school is a much more successful musician doesn't mean that I should get depressed and dopey. No, instead I'm going to keep working on my chops and keep trying to form a band, and take it as far as it will go. 

Lastly, I'll end with a little story from the other night. I was texting my friend, a not-so-very-good drummer (who can't keep a beat), telling him that I've been getting tired of retail work and that I plan on taking more days off, even if it means I'll lose a little money. He said, "You should do it. You only get to live once and then you die." 

Keep that in mind. Don't let your dreams be memes.

2019 Motivation

Its two weeks into 2019 and like me, you've probably come to the sudden realization that life is tough, and that if you want to keep your new years resolution, and do more, and be better, and accomplish more in life its going to be a mother fucker. Life isn't easy, in fact its hard, and more often than not it sucks. "Life's a bitch and then you die," said the Chairman. This is my riff on Chairman Mao's "life is struggle and contradiction" quote, something my dad told me a few years ago.

I've been having these mini awakenings since 2019 started. 

I have to work out to lose weight. Daily.

I have to stop hanging out with my friends so often. Absence makes the heart fonder.

I have to spend more time by myself, and away from work to smell the roses. Money isn't everything. Money can't buy you love.

I have to work on music more, record more, learn how to use Ableton software to make better drum tracks for my music, and finish learning Sequenza by Berio for classical guitar.

I need to write more and become a better writer. Which I've been working on a lot!

I should learn a new skill, like how I've been doing programming tutorials, just to see if I even like it at first.  

I need to quit and lose any bad habits I have currently.

These are all very difficult things to do. In fact, just for me to realize that if I wanted to achieve my goals, that I had to do all these things, it was pretty damn difficult to accept. There is a cost to everything. Time is an important factor. Energy. Emotion. Drive. Etc. 

So the next time you think about taking time off and away from your 2019 goals remember that life's a bitch and then you die. You might as well make life your bitch and then die on your own terms. 

Go for it. 

New Year's Motivational Speel

Life has been pretty grand. Christmas is over and 2019 is two days away. Its that time of year for that classic social media status: New Year, New Me. Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're gonna push yourself hard, work out, and get everything you ever wanted done, or at least try your best. Its good to be motivated, but its also good to be practical about things. Time is the killing blow for most people. If you don't have enough time you won't get things done. 

I've been trying to stay motivated with my usual activities; reading, writing, and playing guitar. In fact if I had a New Year's resolution its this: to play more guitar, learn more songs, and record more on my own as well as with friends. I also plan on learning more about computers in my free time. I don't think I'll become a computer programmer (even being a bad one is hard), but I'd like to learn as much as I can about programming just for my own personal knowledge and such. I've just finished this 500 page computer book on how hardware and software work, and before that I read Hackers by Steven Levy, and that's kind of what caught my interest. Also, about a year and a half ago I signed up for Codeacademy, a free online programming tutorial app. I think I'll actually give that a second go this year. Its complex stuff but its also interesting enough to look into. 

I also want to work more on recording, my own recordings in particular. Add more music on my YouTube page. Reading is a must as well. And I want to write more short stories and start an actual novel, a short one, maybe like 150 pages, something like that. I have some ideas for it already, it would be a near distant future sci-fi story about everyday type of people and workers, more literary than spaceships and laser guns. Maybe more like speculative fiction than true science fiction.

However, its hard to stay motivated. Sometimes after an eight hour retail shift I don't feel like playing guitar, I just want to listen to music or play games. The reality is that if I don't practice guitar at night after work I probably wouldn't have played guitar at all that day. I've realized that in order to get the results I want in life I have to push myself, I have to be disciplined because nobody will be disciplined for me. My music mentor, Frank Abbinanti, a new music composer, lives in Chicago so when he says to learn Sequenza by Berio, I have to have the motivation on my own to actually work on it, otherwise I'll never learn it. Likewise, if I don't learn how to record better songs, and actually do it, I'll never have new songs to post on my YouTube channel. 

Its not going to be easy and I suspect some nights I won't play guitar, write, study, or read. But I won't let that stop me from achieving my goals. 2018 was a good year for me but in 2019 I want to get more done. Read more novels, write more short stories, begin a novel, record more music, play and record more guitar, and of course have fun with my friends and family. 

Keep working hard at the things that matter to you and you'll really get what you want out of life, that's what I've learned. 

Life is good!