Be Tough-Minded In 2019

This is a continuation of my previous post (view here), it was about staying motivated in 2019. Here I'd like to continue that discourse, shifting the motivational stuff to how being more tough-minded helps you achieve your goals. Being tough-minded is difficult and most people aren't naturally this way. However, its a useful skill in the long run that will help you throughout your life.

1) You have to manage your emotions. This goes without saying to most people, especially old people who are much more experienced and evolved, they are true masters of mastering their emotions. When things don't go your way you shouldn't throw a tantrum. Realize that although life is difficult, sometimes you have to suffer a little bit before you can get to the good stuff. When I see co-workers and customers yelling at each other at my work I often think about how these people will never be able to do or accomplish complex things, only just because they can't control their emotions (the price said this and its not ringing up right! fix it while I scream!), and they don't have the patience. Its a shame.

2) Be self-confident. Goes without saying but again, super difficult. Most people aren't born naturally confident. Its a learned skill, especially for me. Even though I'm probably smarter than most of all the people that come to my work (including adults), I'm usually quiet and reserved, to the point that some people even say I need more confidence. Go figure. 

3) Choose who you associate with wisely. I've actually come to the sudden realization that although I love hanging out with my friends, I hang out with them too much. The solution was to spend more time by myself reading, writing, and playing guitar. Absence makes the heart fonder. Also, make sure to avoid sketchy people. Some people aren't worth the time or the effort, especially if they bring you down. 

4) Face your fears and take action. Sometimes you gotta man up and take action. Not feeling work? Ask for some time off. Need to lose weight? Work out more. Want a girl friend? Start asking out girls. Sometimes we think we have all these problems and we dwell over them, but forget about how easy the solutions are. Nike, Just Do It.  

5) Say no when you have to. Tired of your boss calling you in early everyday? Learn to say no. Learn to establish the narrative on your own terms. Tired of helping your co-workers do their own job? Say no to them too. Saying no helps because it shows people that you're not a pushover and shouldn't be approached with unreasonable demands. 

6) Be self-disciplined. You have to work hard to accomplish things. I read a lot of books and blog about them. This alone takes a lot of discipline. Most millennials don 't care much for novels but I'm trying to be a different breed. To be a great guitar player I have to keep practicing, even though I'm currently not playing with any band I still keep up my chops, learn new songs, and am always searching for band members. 

7) Be independent and don't compare yourself to others. You came into this world alone, and you will leave this world alone. That's a bit morbid but in a way its true. You have to learn how to be alone in order to be successful in social situations. In addition, don't compare yourself to others. Just because my friend Jon from high school is a much more successful musician doesn't mean that I should get depressed and dopey. No, instead I'm going to keep working on my chops and keep trying to form a band, and take it as far as it will go. 

Lastly, I'll end with a little story from the other night. I was texting my friend, a not-so-very-good drummer (who can't keep a beat), telling him that I've been getting tired of retail work and that I plan on taking more days off, even if it means I'll lose a little money. He said, "You should do it. You only get to live once and then you die." 

Keep that in mind. Don't let your dreams be memes.