Siegfried comes to save Los Angeles

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

It's been a long time. Hello world. 

I've been okay. C'est la vie, as the French say. There's a lot going on in today's rapidly changing world. A lot of it is terrifying, especially for a 33 year old American male, but really, for anybody, the times they are a-change-in. 

We just came out of a terrible presidency by one of the worst people on the planet and Americans are still supporting him even to this day like he's God's gift to woman. America is becoming more and more totalitarian in every way, shape, and form, and believe me folks, its not just republicans who are Attila the Hun fans, it's democrats too. My work has cameras locked onto every cashier and in every aisle to make sure nobody steals anything. Sound familiar? 

On top of that there's record inflation, soaring gas prices, we can't afford rent, we can't afford groceries, our kids are continuously getting gunned down by madmen in schools, we can't afford children we already have, the climate has gone to the dogs, and the white people have decided to ban abortions but secretly allow their women to get abortion pills and stuff like that. Don't forget climate change. 

Covid isn't going away, and rather, is evolving faster than we can create vaccines for. The workforce doesn't quite know it yet, but they've been decimated by long covid and we don't know the full extent of the long term symptoms but one of them is being tired all the time and continuous brain fog. These victims can't even read a book, I'm afraid, they wouldn't have the attention span. On top of that, other countries are taking more control over the world and America has become a lesser. Trump made our country weak and Biden couldn't fix it. And now we're stuck. Interesting times. 

Companies are becoming less and less employee focused, even Union shops, and rather, instead, they've become more like sweat shops. Ironically, more like China. This has been happening since the American early days of the robber barons. 

Welcome to America, we're the gestapo now, and we support Atilla the Hun, and my name is Siegfried, I have blonde hair and blue eyes.

But seriously, what can one do with a mess like this one? 

There's nothing you really can do except vote Democrat for the Mid Terms. They're the lesser of the two evils, they at least attempt to do the right thing, although they're no angels either.

Part of the problem is that everybody is living in a separate world in this moment of time. Nobody reads the same news, nobody watches the same tv shows, nobody plays the same video games, nobody reads the same books, nobody can agree on anything, and most people aren't smart enough to take news, facts, and information and think for themselves, rather they believe what they hear and just naturally assume that's the way it is, that it is truth, that everything they see and hear is a fact. What happened to thinking for yourselves? 

I told my friends I take the bus in LA. They said, "Be careful! There's criminals on the bus who will rob you."

I said, "What criminals? Where? Did somebody rob you on the bus?"

They said, "No, but I just heard about it on the news."

Are they all really that scared? 

That's beside the point.

What we really need is a remote coalition government that isn't controlled by government, republicans, democrats, libertarians, socialists, communists, or our parents. We all need to come together to vote Democrat, a New Great Society, but only the true believers in the good are allowed in. Are you one of us? 

The end of the beginning. More work to be done tomorrow! 

Retail vs Corona 2021-pt.3

Hello everybody. Tonight I'd like to describe in detail what its like working retail grocery during this current time period of the pandemic on April 30th 2021. For the record, anyone who wants to use my notes on what it's been like to work grocery retail during the pandemic is free to do so. Please credit me though using the name Ogspace. My notes go back to the day before the pandemic began when I was at a punk concert, you can find it all here, http://ofigueroamusic.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html.

Okay, so for starters, we are getting paid pretty well right now. We're currently getting an additional $5 per hour, which totals over $20 per hour from the original $15 per hour. Not bad for retail grocery really. The problem is that it will only last for three months. But there's been rumors from other grocery store workers [within and without our union] that somehow the union will prolong the additional pay period. I'm skeptical but hoping it will happen. You never know. This pandemic isn't going to end soon so it makes sense for the workers to think this way. 

In the beginning of the pandemic my pay was so low and I was getting such low hours that I qualified for EBT. However, at this current juncture, I've somehow made too much money, and my EBT has been cancelled. Bummer. But it's good to be making great paychecks. 

In addition, because of the increased $5 pay, management and upper management have decided to lower hours of all employees significantly in addition to our company closing stores in Long Beach and LA. This has affected most of the staff that doesn't work on the front end the worst. However, because I know how to operate a register, I've somehow been getting increased hours. It pays to want to cashier and be good at it and have a good attitude. 

The front end is the worst affected department out of all at this current stage of the pandemic. That department, the online delivery department, and the deli as well. Many people have quit the deli department so they're always short staffed. It's a very disorganized department. Every night there's only a few people to help our many many customers on the front end. When I left tonight there were only four people that were working the afternoon to night shift. That's hardly enough. Customers were unruly, they were getting aggressive and they complained like there was no tomorrow. It was a bad scene man. Even when I helped the customers a lot of them were still super aggressive towards me. It is what it is. 

The online delivery pick up department has been the second worst affected department. The manager works the 6 am shift and then he has one other person come in at 1 30 pm, and another employee comes in around 3 or 4, and that's it. That's a hardcore breakdown of hours and staff. In the beginning of the pandemic that was the most desired department because the employees didn't want to operate registers so it's easy non-comital work and you shop for other customers who order things online and bag it and bring out the bags to the customers' car, its the easiest job in the entire operation. You don't have to deal with customers too much first hand. It's a shame that the department has ended up so short handed so recently. I would've liked to see it stay a big department. It was doing so well until they cut hours and everybody quit and/or went to other departments. Not to mention staff reducing the staff's hours to about 20 per week. C'est la vie. 

Our store director gave the employees an incentive to get the Johnson and Johnson vaccine through our store. The deal is that you get the vaccine and you show the store director your vaccine card and you get an additional $100 on your paycheck. It's a great incentive. But because it hasn't been advertised at all not many employees have taken up the great opportunity. Consequently most of the employees are still working without having been vaccinated. A lot of them come from Hispanic backgrounds and may be fearful of vaccines because they are scared of the side affects and missing days of work if they get severe side affects. Honestly I can't blame them but the way upper management is doing it is wrong headed, meaning they aren't advertising vaccination at all, meaning most of them aren't going to get vaccinated, meaning some of them are still getting COVID and potentially spreading it to other employees and/or customers! Not good. A few people have caught COVID recently. That hasn't stopped.  

It's been pretty stressful. Most of the staff are tired, exhausted. Most of them have their hours cut. Honestly, I might be one of the few people who's hours somehow went up at this current stage. I even asked around to see what kind of hours my coworkers were getting and most of them were getting pretty low hours, something like 24 hours, or more, but barely more, maybe 28, if even. 

I would say this is a pretty bad time for the store. The front end department [cashiers/baggers/combo clerks] are getting overworked with not enough help at nearly every shift, be it morning, day, or night. Supposedly the pandemic is getting better, but anyone who's actually intelligent knows that this pandemic won't go away soon. It'll get worse before it gets better. This summer is going to hit hard with COVID. Anyone with a brain knows that. If you're reading this pray for all grocery store employees. Tip anyone who helps you out to your car. Don't be a whiner and complainer. Be a mensch. Do some mitzvahs for them.  

Retail vs Corona 2021-pt.2

Hello, how are you doing in quarantine right now? I'm doing okay on the front line, working at a grocery store. Here I'd like to update you on what it's been like working at the grocery store during the pandemic. In case you didn't know, I've been documenting pandemic life at the grocery store since the beginning of the pandemic. You can read all about it here. I've even got the first post documenting literally the day before the pandemic began. I went to a punk rock show that day. 

Let me start with cleaning and sanitation. In the beginning of the pandemic there was cleaning going on all over the place, left and right. However, as of February 25, little to no one actually cleans anything. Hear me out, the actual cleaning service provider that cleans overnight cleans the floors and the bathrooms, but not much else. They usually miss the breakroom, which is always filthy. Which is unfortunate because that's where we eat and take our breaks. The cashiers hardly ever clean their register belts. However, they will do it if a customer is disgusted and asks them to. It should be noted that we are no longer cleaning carts for customers.  

Next, our store is no longer providing us with free masks. Which is a hassle because masks are so important, even more important now because they're suggesting that we all wear two masks now. There are gloves available but only in small and medium but they're always hidden and you have to hunt for them and hope to find it. To give credit where credit is due they did provide us face shields. Perhaps they thought that since they gave us face shields they don't have to provide us masks. 

The general mood of the work environment is surprisingly upbeat. The customers seem to have found a happy medium of treating the employees with respect and dignity. Upper management, co-director, and store director seem to be on good terms with the store and its employees. That's a blessing because at other times during the pandemic the morale of the workers has been very low, at depressing levels and management have been more aggressive towards employees.

However, I could attribute the good happy workers logo with a big time shift in my schedule. I'm now working mornings and early afternoons instead of closing. I find it to be a happier time of day for employees, management, and customers. In addition, I feel like although my life has changed drastically, that I'm much more appreciated during these earlier times. 

Lastly, it isn't often that management ever limits the numbers of customers that come into the store. The last time that happened was on Super Bowl Sunday. Things got a little crazy but they only limited the numbers of customers allowed in the store at any one time for maybe half an hour, and then resumed with allowing anyone entry. The lines get very long at my store and it's very difficult to social distance in the checkout line or in the aisles. Me being a cashier, I can hide in the cashier station and be relatively safe from others because you're enveloped in a cocoon by the window shield blocking between you and the customers in front and in back. At least I have that. 

Surprisingly, I haven't even got a cold once during this entire pandemic. Perhaps we should keep the masks. 

Stay safe, keep your head up, and social distance. If you're risking exposure to the virus like we are at the grocery store, godspeed. Do the things that are required to stay safe. 

Signing off this morning. Thanks for reading. Stay connected to my blog to learn more about retail vs corona as well as various posts about music and literature. 

A Midsummer Night

Hello, ladies and gents. Thought I'd jot down some ideas and thoughts on life right now. 

Life really isn't that great for most people these days. Myself included. There is so much strife and discord in our country right now, it's unbelievable. Even though I consume copious amounts of information regarding the news via online websites and periodicals, at some point you just think to yourself, "why is this happening?" Why indeed. 

A big factor in this gigantic disinformation campaign currently being disheveled to the masses is the fact that the White House is spreading it themselves. Yes, online news websites are biased, but can you really blame them when our President is doing it ten-fold? I think not. 

Not to mention the fact that COVID-19 is spreading faster and stronger by the day. It's really scary out there right now. No state is safe. No person is safe. None of your loved ones are safe and we should all do the things that are required in order to flatten the curve. Yes, we've heard these lines a lot, but I fear that people aren't hearing it. Sure, they're doing they're part but the fact of the matter is that perhaps without some severe draconian methods, like what the Chinese did, there will be no way to stop the spread of this virus, ultimately lasting years, and we won't have enough vaccines, if they ever even make one in a reasonable amount of time, soon.     

But this virus isn't just about deaths. It's about people. How are you doing these days? Most people aren't doing great. Most of them are unemployed and will continue to be unemployed. I'm getting super short shifts and low hours. I'm lucky because I'm decent in terms of finances but the vast majority of people are hurting.

I envision a future America not based on money at all because people simply won't have it, or won't have much of it. I believe the future isn't based on wealth, education, or employment, rather it will be based on finding a new way to live.

We simply haven't been able to live life the way that we are accustomed to anymore. That ship has sailed nearly six months ago. The answer, then, is to find a new meaning to our lives, that is important to us, and gives value to ourselves. 

This is probably the worst period of my young life and even saying that it still isn't that bad compared to say the Great Depression or wartime. Although it is much worse than the 2008 Recession, for comparison. 

I've had to limit most social interactions in person and a lot of my communication with other people has only been through online voice comms [headset mic] or through text messaging on apps. My one saving grace, although it is a double-edged sword, is my retail gig, literally the one place where I see other people and talk to people in person. Ironic, saying since the place isn't very safe and has already had a few cases of COVID. 

I go to work in an hour or so. I feel good about working there even during COVID. Sure, it isn't safe, but it's a good job for me because I get to help others and interact with people on a real level, nothing fake. I'm a people person. Interaction, baby. This summer has been kind of a bummer with the protests, the politics, the White House, the President, and the pandemic. I don't think we can curve this virus anytime soon, rather the answer lies in how we choose to live our lives. Are we going to become better, smarter individuals, or let the chaos engulf us?

Summertime, Gotta Get That Feeling

Hello, ladies and gents. I was bored before a mid-shift at work and figured now would be a good time to write a blog about life in general. 

Once again, as if I haven't said it enough, the pandemic is raging. These are the highest record number of new cases and deaths in California and the United States. It's a brutal time. Yet, we still have to find a way to live. 

For me, it's mostly been a matter of finding a balance. What is the right balance between personal home life, friends, family, work, and recreation? I talk to a lot of friends, mostly online, but I've found that if you neglect your own personal downtime then you're doing it all wrong, especially during the pandemic. 

There is only one good thing about this pandemic. It's given us all lots of more time. Using this time wisely and effectively, we can come to terms with ourselves, our families/friends/co-workers/jobs/goals, and find ourselves. What do you want out of life? What are you doing to achieve that? That is the one good thing about this terrible virus. Use that time wisely and all of a sudden you're happy again and proud of your accomplishments in life, be that as they may. 

For me this involves a lot of things; reading, writing, looking for other jobs, talking to lots of friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and a lot of rest because doing this can be draining. I believe most people don't take advantage of quiet relaxing hobbies like reading and writing because they're used to more easy-to-get gratification. Why read a book when you can play a video game, or watch a TV show? The problem is that those people miss out on a prime way to relax, stimulate the brain without overstimulating it, and enjoy quiet downtime. 

At this point in the pandemic, I've probably played more video games in the last four months than in the last year. It's been pretty intense. Likewise, there are people out there who watch more Netflix more and more every day. For myself and them, there's a wicked after effect from this sort of activity, overstimulation, a sort of synaesthesia.

Once you're so used to all the free time and doing everything you want to do all the time, you get lost in the pleasure and overstimulation. Too much of a good thing leads to you going backward. Someone who watches Netflix all day isn't a bad or stupid person, but it will lead them to essentially becoming a couch potato their whole lives. Nobody wants to be the bio-mass, with their beer bellies, trying to find the remote to turn on the next episode. 

On another note, it's summertime, gotta get that feeling. Enjoy the outdoors, go to the beach, order great take out. 

Life during the pandemic has gone pretty well for me. I took off two months and then almost two months back at work, they gave me minimal hours. That actually worked for me, because at the time I didn't want to work too much because of how small our store is, and people get packed in there like sardines. Lucky for me, I didn't need the money as much as I could have needed it, so I spent a lot of extra free time soul searching. It wasn't until this week, this day exactly, that my hours shot back up to regular hours, meaning, essentially, that a lot of the new hires already quit, got fired, or went back to their old jobs. In addition, I no longer work closing shifts, rather, I work mornings and mid shifts. Howboudah? 

I spent a lot of my free time reading, writing, gaming, and talking to friends but there was also a lot of soul searching as well. You learn to come to grips with reality on your own initiative, it's hard to explain but the more you work on it, the more insight you gain about life, yourself, and others. Even if the world is burning all around us, we have to learn to go inside ourselves, and reflect upon peace and love, as hippy and dippy as that sounds. 

This isn't easy, and it's much easier said than done, but if you keep pushing yourself, find yourself, you can attain enlightenment and really see the joy in the world. 

Gotta get that feeling!

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse Virus pt. 6

Greetings noble readers of my blog. How's the quarantine life treating you all? I figured I would continue my series about life during the coronavirus. If you haven't seen any of the previous posts about this up to this point, I recommend you click on the 'plague journal' at the top of my blog page and review some of the earlier posts. Or you can find it here. I explain the working conditions at my job and stuff, it's quite an overview. 

Anyways, we're somewhere in the middle of this virus. Not contained by any means but it has not taken over California like it did in New York, Italy, China, or Spain. 23,000 people have died in the US. But that's considered low numbers. For the time being. But it's still a crippling reminder that this virus has ravaged our country. It's very sad. 

We're all very lucky to have good leadership in California under Gavin Newsom and under the Los Angeles mayor Garcetti. They called for stay at home orders long before other states followed suit. Smart guys who listen to their advisers. 

I didn't catch the virus from work but the threat of continuing to work in the front end at a grocery store greatly expanded my chance of catching the virus, exponentially. Naturally, I took a leave of absence from my job, as other coworkers did as well. The number one reason was fear that I could catch the virus, bring it home, and give it to my elderly father, whom I love very much. The other being unsafe working conditions.

Now I'm on somewhat of a respite. The threat of the virus is still there if I go out in public like another grocery store but as long as I stay in lockdown I am now much safer. Thankfully! Eventually, I'll have to return to work but hopefully, by then the stay at home order will be lifted and perhaps businesses will open up again. I doubt it but anything's possible, right?

What is life like now? Well, it's calm. I have a regular routine per usual. 

I started running in the mornings to try to lose weight. Been working on zen breathing and the art of running. I do afternoon jazz guitar concert sets on my balcony for all the passersby walking down my busy street. I love to play solo guitar jazz standards. I stream video games on twitch, which you can find here. I read a lot, mostly science fiction at the moment. I've also got a new Kant book to read as well; Moral on Metaphysics, my cup of tea. I plan on writing a zombie virus series which you can find the beginning of here. 

I have no social life because some of my friends have existing conditions and some of their parents are against us meeting up during this time of crisis. A fair assessment of the situation I would say. As a result, we've banded together online, text chat on phone, direct messaging on Facebook, voice coms on Discord, hanging out in each other's twitch streams, gaming together online, and such. In such dire straights, you would think the infrastructure of the internet would collapse, lol. But it's fun to talk to and chill with my friends online. I miss them very much and perhaps that's the greatest loss during this pandemic. The fact that we can't gather round in person, chill together, find solace in human solidarity together. 

If there's one thing I'll remember with all this shit going on [a popular California way of talking about the virus], other than 'social distancing,' it's the fact that "we're all in this together."

What's a brotha to do?

What's up ladies and gentlemen of the interwebz. It's been a minute since I last wrote a post. I've been on a blog/writing hiatus for a while now. The reason? A lot of work at the main retail gig mostly. Lately, I've been getting these long six-day work weeks. Eight hours, six days a week. They're exhausting but hey, I think they call that a job. 

I've been reading a lot. I recently finished The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Nearly 800 pages! At one point I was averaging about 100 pages a day. I'm currently reading the Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. Bring on more classics of the western canon! Brothers Karamazov is such a great work with so much gravitas that I think it deserves to be reread in a couple years if not sooner. 

The Canterbury Tales took me a long time to get into. For a while, I contemplated reading it but instead got hooked on video games for a few days. I've been playing a lot of Overwatch within my last two days off, leaving me in a kind of zoned-out, zombified, sort of state. The game is fun but it gets to be a little mind-numbing after a while. I've been in gaming limbo. Most of the time I don't play games at all but every now and then on days off, I play a lot. Missing out on precious reading time on days off.  

Actually, if I don't read pretty often [every day] my mind starts to wander and drift off into this kind of zoned-out mode. What can I say? I have to stay engaged in the literature to feel active in life. I've become such a reader that when I don't read for one-two days, I start to feel not quite like myself. Fiction especially. And philosophy. Literary essays. 

In terms of music, I've been playing weekly jazz duo jams with my friend Jason Thomas. I'll probably post some music from our sessions here at some point soon. The jam sessions have become more improvisational but I would say that we need to increase our repertoire. Especially Coltrane songs. Songs like Afro Blue, My Favorite Things, Naima, etc. 

I had a freaky moment at work during the past week where I met a music student who actually studied with my music mentor, the new music composer Frank Abbinanti. Apparently, Sid studied with Frank for five years [or more] in Chicago before he came out to California to study at Cal Art. This is pretty astounding. I was dumbstruck. This is where I get to say that I believe in God and metaphysics. What are the chances of meeting this guy? Considering that we are both from Chicago and both are mentored by Frank. Apparently, my step-father knows Sid and his father as well from when they used to run a new music orchestra. Wow! How about that? 

Having free time to write a rambling post like this has been great. In fact, I've been so tired from work lately that I haven't had the energy to turn on my laptop and write posts, let alone my usual book reviews. Instead, the last month or so I've been ranting a lot about retail, and my Marxist tendencies, as well as my arrival to class consciousness via retail work. It's a wonderful world. 

Plans for the future? Well, for one thing, I'm going to get back to my usual book review stuff. For another, I plan on going back and working on my first novel, which was written and finished a while ago, but definitely not perfect. I'm actually not satisfied with it and intend on going back to the original version, which didn't have much editing, without messing it up. My problem with my memoir initially was that I finished a rough draft and then wrote a longer, edited version. However, after going over the edited version I realized that it was edited in a wrongheaded way, forcing me to go back to the drawing board. 

Thankfully, I have the original version. Just to explain to you how different the original is from the edited version, the original version is only 50 pages, whereas the edited version is 100 pages. A lot of people have told me that I should submit it to publishers and try to get something done with it. We will see after I rework it again. 

Likewise, I want to write more short stories of a fictional nature. Science fiction and just plain, old, regular fiction. A reader must write if he or she is so inclined. I've been reading a lot of Jack Reacher [the short story collection]  so I'm inspired to write things in that vein. We will see. 

Lastly, it's not that I haven't quite had as much time to write that I haven't written anything. Rather, it's just that I've been damn tired. So tired that I haven't really been playing guitar much. I've stopped attending the bar open mics because I realized their limitations [two songs, ten minutes, buy drinks, too much $] and in fact, when I play and buy drinks there, I'm losing money and free time. In terms of music, I'm more motivated by Frank Abbinanti's musical advice and direction. In terms of writing, I'm very inspired. But sometimes you gotta force yourself to write. Even when you're dead tired. 

The holidays can be a real downer for people. This time of year is hard on workers because most people have to work during the holidays rather than spend time with their families. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. The important thing is to keep doing the things that motivate you and push yourself to get the things you want to be done. If you don't push yourself, nobody else will. 

I've got to keep pushing myself. 

Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most

It's been a while since I wrote something like this. Psychology, self-help, vlog-style, that kind of thing. Spring is here in 2019, life is moving by fast. In California, there's only really spring and summer. The weather doesn't change much except in summer when it gets super hot. This makes for a continuous summer year round. This is why people like living here. However, it makes time move by uber fast. The last six years were a blur. So it goes.  

I've been focusing on playing a lot of guitar, shedding [jazz musician slang for improving my chops], working, and playing with my friend Jason, an excellent alto saxophonist. I've also been reading a lot of books. And by a lot, I mean a lot. Sometimes I can finish a book in two or three days if I marathon the book. Other times I take it slow. I've even been working out too, trying to shed some pounds. Somebody could come along and say, "Why are you wasting time reading books and playing music? If you go to college you could end up making more money in the future." 

That's always fair. The one thing that they don't realize is that everything you do could and will help you at some point. You just don't know when or how. This is why you have to believe. Believe in your own willpower, karma, God, yourself, whatever. When you stop believing in yourself you start to underestimate yourself. All those books and music have helped me to develop an interior life away from my family, friends, and work associates. I have my own world to seek refuge in. Video games do this as well but not nearly as well because video games are tainted by online experiences with people who may and will abuse the multiplayer experience [if said game is multiplayer]. 

Where does that leave me? Well, there are good days and there are bad days. Hopefully, there are more good days than bad days. I think every millennial is in crisis in a way right now, rich or not. The problem is that wages are stagnant, rent is increasing, and companies just don't need as many people as before. People just aren't needed as much these days. More and more things are becoming automated. It's cheaper for companies to have a small workforce with a high turnover. 

I've been in the retail trade for ten years now. I started working at Sentry's food store in Wisconsin back when I was eighteen and I've been working ever since in mostly grocery stores. There's not much of a future in the grocery business but it's still the best job I've ever had and I'm still making enough to get by most of the time. Where do I go from here?

For millennials in general I think there's a much bigger issue than my own personal one. The legislative and executive branches of government are at war with each other. There's no leadership, on either side. Nancy Pelosi and Biden represent the old school Democrat but the fresh younger Democrats say its time for a change that doesn't include them. The Republicans are complete idiots, perhaps even evil. They'll say anything as long as they stay in power. There's no winning really. And will there ever be? Starless and Bible Black, as that King Crimson record was called.

Not only that but a lot of millennials don't even seem to care. They prefer to drift off into a life of entertainment and leisure. Can you blame them? Their entire world is crashing and burning around them, and all they care to talk about is End Game and Game of Thrones. It's no wonder America is in decline. No future indeed as Johnny Rotten sang in the Sex Pistols. 

I could go back to college, rack up 40k of debt and get a better job and career in 4 years. But will that really make me happy? I'd rather keep playing the guitar, reading books, running, and see where life takes me. It's risky not going to college but I'm not really the college type. I'm a hipster jazz and rock guitarist. Guitar players don't need to go to college. Just ask Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix. 

Spring can really hang you up the most. It's such a beautiful seasonal change. But when things aren't going that great, and don't appear to be improving anytime soon, things get pretty bleak. Like a black metal record. Except I actually enjoy that. Times like these call for fortitude. You gotta believe in whatever it is that you believe in and push through, into the beyond, rather than into the void. Don't underestimate yourself. Everything you do has an aftereffect, aftershocks of karma, zen, and transcendence. 

I was feeling kind of blue before I wrote this but then I realized that writing really helps me to overcome my negative thoughts and emotions. This is why I'm such an active writer, writing nonstop for seven years now. I've been working on a memoir about my life which is currently 75 pages long. I look forward to continuing to work on it and finishing it sometime in the immediate future. If you think you had a bad day, a bad year, a bad decade, don't worry, you're not alone. We're all in this together, in this one universe. 

[title inspired by saxophonist Melissa Aldana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsD0H9MCQ1U]

February Update

Howdy partner! I've had a lot of free time lately, but haven't been writing as much. However, I've been extremely busy living an interior life, which of course involves a lot of reading and guitar playing. 

Usually I keep the blog updated very frequently but I haven't finished any novels, albums, or seen any interesting movies. However, I'm in the middle of a couple of great books and I'm even writing a rough draft for a novella, which I will try to get published, eventually, maybe in 2020 when I'm done with it. My goal is for it to be around 100 pages. Its about growing up in the Midwest in the early 2000's, very autobiographical. 

For starters, I've been reading this epic [457 page] science fiction novel by Cecelia Holland, a female historical fiction writer, called Floating Worlds. Floating Worlds is her first and only science fiction novel and it is quite grand. In a way, this book heavily reminds me of Schismatrix Plus by Bruce Sterling, however, this book was written in 1976, some ten years before Schismatrix Plus. 

Basically, the Earth has been run down by pollution. Anarchists control the Earth's government. There are people on other planets and even aliens [Martians and others], called Styths. Our female protagonist gets a government job [ironic b/c they're anarchists], and is in charge of writing a treaty between the anarchists of Earth and Styths, these 'black' aliens with mustaches, claws, and very tall bodies. The female lead ends up getting the treaty by sleeping with the Styth leader, and she even has a baby by him! I'm about half-way through the novel. Interesting to note that the Styths say the word 'nigger' a lot, usually in reference to humans. In addition, Martians and other alien races refer to the Styths as niggers. I imagine that this would upset a lot of the social media crowd these days.

The idea is a very popular science fiction trope: a grand space opera spanning many pages. However, the writing is unlike most science fiction space operas I've read. The writing is simplistic, sometimes even bare bones. Sentences read easily, in fact, you could say the book reads itself, although it is quite long. Its quite something to see that you don't have to be as technical as say William Gibson or even Bruce Sterling to write great science fiction. This is a great example of that. 

In addition, I've been reading Being and Time [1927, 500 pages] by Martin Heidegger, the modern German philosopher.  In Being and Time, Heidegger attempts to explain "what is being". He says that since the time of the Greeks, philosophers have avoided the question, instead referring to the analysis of particular beings. He goes on to explain and define the meaning of being. I can't say that I truly understand everything in Being and Time. However, everything written in it is so captivating that sometimes I can't put it down. It keeps my attention, and makes me think very hard about what he's trying to say, which is to definite being. 

One thing that makes it very difficult to understand is the fact that its translated from German, meaning that a lot of the words and phrases get lost in translation. If you truly want to study Being and Time, you would have to read it in German. The other aspect of understanding here is the fact that the ideas presented are so abstract, so abstract that you can get lost in thoughts, your own thoughts about the ideas presented, as well as the sentences themselves. This is the most difficult philosophy I've read, [and I've read bits of Plato, Aristotle, Sir Tomas More, Francis Bacon, Margaret Cavendash, Hobbes, Descartes, Adam Smith, Voltaire, and Bertrand Russell]. Nonetheless, its a terrific work that keeps me thinking and striving to understand 'being'.  Very motivating!

Moving on, and speaking of Germans, I just today started reading Man in the High Castle [1962, 240 pages] by Phillip K. Dick. I read half the book at the library and plan on finishing it soon. Its a terrific novel with a great pace. There is a show based on the novel on Amazon Prime but it doesn't hold a candle to the majesty of the novel itself. This novel won the prestigious science fiction award, the Hugo Award in 1963-well deserved! 

The Man in the High Castle is an alternate history novel where Germany and Japan won World War II. Now, the Nazi's and Japan share control over the world, including the United States. The book makes use of the I, Ching, an ancient Chinese text used for religion, psychoanalysis, literature, and art. The way its used in the novel is fascinating, a sort of book within a book, with extra variations and themes. Man in the High Castle has everything: art, philosophy, plot, character, suspense, action, and character. I'll probably write about it in my next post. 

Life is moving fast. I'm trying to keep up day-to-day with what is really important. Inevitably, this means that I haven't been playing video games, instead preferring to read, write, and nap [sleep is the best 'drug' you can ever use]. I'm finding that my time is becoming more precious so playing Overwatch just doesn't do it for me anymore. I still play Smash Ultimate with my buddies when I hang out with them. But when I'm by myself I'm going to stick with the more important stuff, reading, writing, napping, and playing guitar. 

Thanks for reading, I look forward to the next post about Man in the High Castle. 

Focus Pocus Part II: A Philosophical view

Howdy yall, what's up? I thought I'd write a bit more about what I discussed in the previous post, which can be viewed here. I explained how I was in a funk after vacation and how I couldn't get anything done, mainly my reading and guitar playing, in a lull. 

Well its been almost a month since I've been back, things have been going good for me. Work has been pretty insane, retail, over 40 hours a week. I'm working from today (Thursday) until next week (Friday) with no days off in between. The crazy thing is that although the thought of that is a little depressing, I'm actually getting a lot done in the sense that I've divided up all my time for rest and only the essentials. What's that pray-tell? 

The essentials for me is reading, writing, and music. Once I realized that I have no time to play video games probably ever! it was a pretty hard thing to observe, and then to get over. I used to love video games but now there's simply no time for it if I'm going to become a better writer, keep reading great science fiction (The Difference Engine) and philosophy (Adam Smith), and learn more classical and jazz guitar pieces (so much practice). Its a full time job all on its own, forget about the retail job, this is my job! 

There's a philosophy to this. Breaking everything down in your life to just the bare essentials. What do you want to accomplish in one day? What do you want to accomplish in a lifetime? Practice it one day at a time until you achieve complete and total mastery. 

My job gets in the way but if I take away the video gaming and stop spending so much time procrastinating on Facebook or playing video games, I can actually get a lot done in a day. Because I stay up very late (sometimes till 4 or 5, reading on my Kindle, which I got from a co-worker for free, retail is great sometimes) I can get a lot of reading done late at night after my late night shift. Everything's turning up Millhouse.

Happiness is a very tangible thing. Happiness is practicing guitar every day, reading, and writing. Find your passion and stick to it. Work is a necessary by-product of monetary situation, but it doesn't dictate who I am or who I will be. The future is ours to decide! 

Focus Pocus

Ahoy shipmates, and welcome aboard. I haven't written anything new lately mostly because I haven't read any new novels or anything, in fact I've been in a funk, unable to focus, until tonight. I've got my mojo back, and even the inspiration to work harder on classical guitar, which I just started working on recently, as in the end of the summer. 

I thought I'd write a bit about it (the funk) for fun. I was really distracted after the Chicago trip, maybe even a little depressed. For a while I was gaming nonstop in between 1AM retail job shifts. It was bad, I had to ease up on the gaming to get a gripe on reality, get back to my reading, and focus more on my guitar playing. 

I was a little down because the drummer I've worked with for the past year or so, we both decided to go our separate ways and no longer jam together. It was kind of sad but it was probably for the best because we're at different skill levels musically. I hope everything works out for him and his new death metal band. 

Anyways, its super easy to get distracted. For a while I couldn't even read the news because I would be thinking about something else. It was like I had ADD or something. Where's the adderal when you need it (lol)? The news and politics didn't help either. The 15 pipe bombs, the synagogue shooting, the Borderline bar massacre, and the Fires going on right in California all made me pretty sad. Even things like that affect my mood sometimes. 

I don't know if there's a trick to staying focus or disciplined. I certainly haven't figured it out. I think for myself I need somebody to push me, not just myself. Its like when I lost a lot of weight. I only lost it because I disciplined myself super hard and didn't eat anything late at night.

On musical terms though now that I'm just doing solo guitar stuff I realized I have to practice more and harder, especially if I'm going to play solo guitar pieces. 

I'm still looking for musicians to play with online but so far haven't found anybody. I'm looking to find horn players, maybe we could get a trio going without drums, play small events, parties, etc. Play straight ahead jazz..or maybe find some freak out free jazz avant garde types, although I highly doubt I would find musicians like that here in the Valley.

With Martin, my former drummer out of the picture I'm not playing death metal anymore, I'm focusing more on serious music-jazz, blues, and classical. The real stuff. 

I'll keep the blog updated as much as I can. I should've finished another novel by now but California has so many distractions-the Bio-Mass beckons. I also want to write more short stories as well. Gotta keep perfecting my art if its ever going to take off. 

I'll be in touch.