How To Really Listen

Brainstorming some ideas on what subject to write upon tonight brought me to this simple idea: How do you really listen? How do you listen to music? How do you listen to people?

The idea came to me when I was listening to some Vivaldi just now. By the way, I love baroque music, especially Vivaldi, and the Four Seasons piece. Those fast violins burn and shred hard.

First, I'll share my thoughts about how to listen to music and then how to listen to people after.

I can hear the grass grow.

So first of all, these are simply my ideas on what's best. What might be right for me might not be your cup of tea. That being said, the best way to listen to music is by listening to music with a good pair of headphones or speakers. Headphones are the best. Then, make sure you have EQ bars that have predefined presets so you can always put the music's tone on a good sound easily without messing around too much.

The next step is critical. When you listen to music, only listen to the music. Don't scroll through Facebook, don't read the news, don't read random articles, don't talk. The only way you can truly respect and enjoy the music is by giving it your full, undivided attention. So when I started writing this blog I turned off the music and put down my headphones. Why? Because you have to give the task at hand your full, undivided attention, for that is the only way you can truly enjoy it and give it the credit it deserves. Think of all the people who mindlessly do one thing while doing another. They can't really get the benefit of doing the one thing because they're doing another, they're doing themselves a disservice. 

In addition, it should be added that you must listen not only to the lyrics of the singer [most of you listen to bands with singers] but you must also learn to isolate the sounds of the bass, guitar, drums, and keyboards. Likewise, if you're a big classical connoisseur like myself, you must learn to recognize the chords/melodies, the chords/melodies of the brass, the chords/melodies of the strings, etc. Once you can recognize the melodies and chords coming from all the different instruments, then you can truly enjoy it. If you just sit there and mindlessly listen without putting all of this into consideration, it's sort of empty and soulless. Sure, you might be able to pick out a simple melody here or there, but only if the song hits you over the head with it. You have to learn to isolate chords and melodies, no matter how cluttered the sound is. That's where things get difficult, especially when you're a musician trying to learn a new song on the guitar, or a classical musician trying to learn to play in a huge orchestra. By the time you can figure out how to do all this, your ear will become trained; you'll be able to recognize intervals, chords, melodies, rhythms, scales, modes, all of it, and your appreciation for music will go through the roof. If you can't do this stuff mentioned here then your ear will always be mediocre and although you'll enjoy a good beat or riff here or there, you'll never get to that full music appreciation. It's like a guitar player who only plays power chords. If you've never played a jazz or a classical chord then you haven't done your homework. Essentially, you'll always be a rookie.

You say yes, I say no.

So you've done all the above and you can fully appreciate AND enjoy music. Congrats! That's all super hard work and it takes a lifetime to really enjoy and master, musician or not. Always remember that the people who listen to music as background noise can't appreciate and enjoy the music the same way you do, they will always lack that special something, the secret sauce so to speak; you're a seasoned connoisseur now.

Now you apply your listening skills from music to listening to people, listening to words. Reading helps a lot with this but that's for another blog. The white noise that can bleed into your auditory senses will always be there whether its background music inside your work, cars driving by, other people talking, even the wind blowing will be noticeable to your ears, even thoughts in your own head can clutter sound. You have to isolate the sound the same way you isolate the sound when you listen to music. Some people are low note baritone talkers, others are midrange brass, others are more of high violin notes. Identifying, clarifying, and isolating their voices will be key.

One of the interesting things that will occur once you're at this stage is that you will begin to hear a lot more; more of everything. A lot of people talk to themselves, say something meant just for themselves, and you'll even pick up these things too. It's not really that important but it's a behavioral tick that a lot of people have. Other times people will blatantly say something really quiet but is meant for you to hear. For example, perhaps a cute girl wants to give you a compliment but is a little shy? Or how about a passive-aggressive comment from someone you pissed off somehow. There's always something. Hell, you'll even realize that sometimes people whisper random stuff. Weird, I know. But you'll pick it up along the way.  

The most important thing is that you're there listening. It isn't really that important what you say. If you're around people that genuinely like you, it never matters what you say, only that you listen. You can choose to listen in a passive way, almost like your not even there, or you can be more outgoing and create exchanges of sentences with people, either method works. The most important thing is to try not to interrupt someone when they're talking. If you miss some things, hey, nobody is perfect. Listening to people is very similar to listening to music; it's all ear training, recognition, call, and response. Essentially all it is is language games, even music is just that to some extent. Next thing you know you'll be able to transcribe your nervous exchange with the hottest girl you've seen all week. Or that frantic police squad car/helicopter chase down the freeway going 100 miles per hour.

I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

Communication Breakdown

I had a good experience today. I went out for a walk when I saw an older acquaintance of mine, a neighbor. A woman that I've talked to about life, and work, with here and there. 

We got to talking about what's going on in the world and it was a great experience. One of the problems right now is that people are so divided because they aren't communicating with each other in such a way that they're understanding each other. There's a big miscommunication campaign going on right now in the media, government, social media, and even in real life with our friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. 

She's a Jewish woman. She talked about her experiences growing up Jewish but not telling people she's Jewish, and how often she saw that white people made discriminatory comments about jews. She said she's been working on herself her whole life but that the brutal murder of George Floyd really was a shock where we have to question who we are as a nation. 

I told her that police brutality isn't just a black thing and that it's actually more of a white thing because there are more white men as leading police commissioners that make or abuse police policies in their precincts. But of course, I added that it's also the human condition, that is, it's a human rights issue that everybody should talk about.  

I told her about how I'd been racially profiled in Wisconsin as a teenager. And that I was lucky no police encounter ever escalated to the point of violence.

The point is that when we communicate with people in a meaningful way, others can see you, and you can see them, for who you/they are as an individual. Not as a number, race, or religion. When everyone sees one another for who they are as an individual, we can come to a better understanding of who we are and respect each other's lives and liberty in a more meaningful way. 

There's so much division in the nation right now, it's astounding. Just because somebody isn't the same skin color as you doesn't mean that they are any less of a human being. And if you think that talking about racism doesn't help then you might be a racist. The reality is that while sometimes talk can be petty, and downright disruptive, in the long run, talk is what brings us together, where we can show solidarity towards our fellow man, where we can see that although we don't have the same skin color or the same religion, that we are all in this together and that we all deserve love, dignity, and happiness.

So I urge you to talk to your fellow friends, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and even talk to random strangers on the streets, everybody you want. The more you talk to people the more you can get to understand them, even if it's just a little bit at a time. This is walking the Earth. 

A little bit of understanding goes a long way. Communication is the key to victory against the evils of civil unrest and police brutality. Talk to people. Ask questions. Be smart. Make your own social circles. Have a diverse group with a variety of ideas and positions. We all have to talk to each other and make ourselves loud and clear. This is how things are changed in the world. Start small, end up with big achievements. Our voices together are unmatched by any President's tweet. The power of the vote has blood on its hands, it's the most valuable power the citizen has. Use it. Through communication, voting, and protests we can make the world a better place. 

Communication breakdown, It's always the Same
Havin' Another Breakdown, Drives me Insane