may gloom, june bloom!

Goodbye May gloom, hello June bloom! Looks like even the weather's trying to keep up with my mood swings. What can I say, I'm feeling kind of blue. But this too, shall pass.

Here we are in May. Six months from now we will have a new American President. I think Trump will actually win the election. The court cases and the sensational news about it, every excruciating detail even the stuff about Stormy Daniels, has somehow made Trump even stronger. I think his base are more fired up than ever, and they're around me everyday at the supermarket. Woe is me. Hopefully violence doesn't break out. 

Why I think this. Well, for starters, I think Biden has alienated a lot of his base. People like me, young people, people of culture who vote and think and read and have jobs and families, people who usually always vote democrat, I think Biden has really messed with this set of peoples. However, I think one part of his base that will remain loyal to him no matter what is black women, a large portion of the democratic base. 

I don't want Biden to be President, and I think he's doing a disservice to the world community by funding and sending arms to Israel to use against the war in Gaza, but to be fair, what it really has become, is the Israeli military beating and blowing up Gazan civilians and destroying their infrastructure, now leading to famine. 

I think the outrage and disgust against this war will ultimately result in the loss for the democrats and lead to the takeover of America by the republican party, sponsoring Trump to rule as a fascist despot in the guise of a republican party leader. Almost like some bad nazi won the war movie. That's worst case scenario. And I know you know and think that Americans don't want this. But what if they 0 don't consider swing voters enough 1 don't show up to vote 2 vote for trump 3 end up being okay with being run by a fascist despot, because after all 1 i got mine and 2 those other people don't matter and 3 they should work harder. These are things you've got to think about if you're being realistic. 

Next, the pressing issue of people in today's society and culture. Now, it seems to be that most people out there are not taking care of business. Your parents aren't taking care of business, your managers aren't taking care of business, your friends aren't taking care of business, you have to take care of business yourself. 

So this means you can't just turn on, tune in, and drop out like Timothy Leary. Although many of the older American friends of mine have turned on to this decadent hippie lifestyle. What they'll do is find a way to finance themselves in the easiest way possible, barely work, have a house for them and a girlfriend/wife, and just coast while drinking a lot and perhaps indulging in some occasional recreational drug use. 

Keep in mind I work at a supermarket so I can see and tell you that there alcoholics that come to me to purchase liquor everyday at the same times and they're hardcore alcoholics and it's like a way of life to these people. They come to me to ring it up every time possibly because they think I won't judge them as harshly as the other cashiers, I'm known to be something of a Papa Genu. 

My point; when you have a society, an entire culture wasted by alcohol and recreational drugs like marijuana and cocaine, you have a recipe for mental health disaster. We have not reaped the benefits of the so-called acid generation. In fact, they're a big part of the problem since the 1960s. I'm not saying the conservatives were right, but I'm saying there's been a big problem with the entire liberal agenda, the entire scene, it's all wrong-headed and stupid, and has contributed to moral hazard. 

After all, I am a moral conservative. But one that isn't closeminded to change or adaptation to change. I think change is a big part of the culture, history, society, and government of the United States. I think one of the biggest problems in America today is that we aren't open enough to change. How can you explain the fact that its election 2024 Biden versus Trump yet again. These guys have one foot in the grave and we're giving them a chance to run for president yet again? What does that tell you about us, as a society, as a people, as a culture? 

We live in a society where the culture goes anyway the wind blows. A pop culture, where the average student is weaned to become a consumer of almost any type of goods from any country. When you walk down the street or go to businesses there's more often than not, people making a spectacle of themselves for some reason or other. I see it almost every night at work. These are like happenings, but not the good type of happenings like a concert in the park on an afternoon.

The culture has become debased. We have young people tuned in on video games, tiktok, porn, TV, movies, social media, alcohol, drugs, but not really making the money needed to live a better life or the life they want. They don't contribute to the society in any meaningful way expect putting their hard earned money back into the economy, allowing the invisible hand to do what it will. We have so much of everything that it's literally hurting us to the point where people can not and will not think for themselves. 

Every time you get in an argument with your parents, your managers, your friends, your so-called acquaintances, think about why they were angry and think about the fact that they're not taking care of business. Why should you explain yourself to someone who's completely tuned out and isn't taking care of business? So you see there is a sort of hypocrisy there. 

But wait, there's more. There's still hope yet for you. Through change. Change is the total mass retain. By change you will come to who you are, see things for what they are, and hopefully come to some understanding to develop strategies into which you can transform your world, your environment into whatever you want it to be, leading through your own personal example, but also by going in there and breaking things. The right kind of outside character already knows this, the outsider. But not all of us are outsiders, some of us are children of the wasted acid generation, who didn't have a clue and still don't, especially now that they're getting older. 

The last part here is the most important. You have to learn to think for yourself. Question everything, question even what I have written here, question yourself, question your own thoughts and ideas, but keep a reality principal, make sure you understand and know what is real and what is not, learn to become smarter so you can more easily define and compare good and evil. I know this is basic but you would be surprised how many people don't know this because they think doctors, lawyers, parents, wives, girlfriends, or therapists will help them and somehow they'll 'figure it all out.' 

Of course, today, anyone with an iq above 28 is a threat to society and is automatically labeled an outsider, even if he knows it or not. Why? Drugs and alcoholism has taken over critical thinking in the younger classes and disillusionment and powerlessness have overtaken the older generations to the point where most of them are tuned out to the pop culture world and live in a small capsule. 

Is this the end of civilization part III? 

flowers and sunshine!

Greetings, cosmic playground, 

How goes the cosmic dance in your corner of the infinitesimal universe?

Life has been a delightful romp through the garden of existence, with just the right amount of sunshine and whimsy. I'm working, happy, and healthy. I've been reading a lot, per usual, perhaps even more these last two years, you can check out my goodreads account [here] if you're so inclined. Right now I'm reading The Idiot by Dostoevsky. I'm still working a steady schedule as a cashier at the local market. I go out everyday to get exercise. I've stopped playing video games as often and instead got more into ai art. I go out to the bar every now and then in an attempt to be more social. I'm a man on a mission, it seems.

Looks like Mother Nature decided to fast-forward to summer mode, giving us a taste of July in April!

I listen to a lot of music still, but become even more specialized, now, I listen to a lot of opera, mostly old ones. My favorite is Mozart's Magic Flute and Cosi Fan Tutti, but lately I've been on a Vivaldi binge, Vivaldi wrote some 50-60 operas, whereas Mozart, genius as he was, only wrote about 22. Frank Zappa: All the good music has been done by the people in wigs. But I also listen to a lot of jazz, I'm particularly fond of Kind of Blue and Out To Lunch mixed in with A Love Supreme, those are die-hard g0-to albums for me daily.

I think a lot like a philosopher. About life in America, at this current time-period or level, about the person I am/was/created/now, and there's a lot there to think about. But just as Voltaire said, "a man can very rarely rise above the ideas of his time." We live in a crossroads of history. They just passed a full-scale abortion ban in Arizona, bringing a state in the United States back to the 1800s. Something similar might happen in Wisconsin soon according to the news.

We find ourselves navigating the curious currents of an eccentric epoch. The cult of personality [Trump] has infected a large portion of Americans. As Huxley said, "The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human." We see this time and time again, from the MAGA crowd. After all, lest we forget, the first thing Trump did when he was in office was to instate a Muslim ban in the United States like a typical fear-monger. 

The fear of a Trump ascendency back to the Presidential Office is startlingly scary. Not just for democrats like Biden, or women who want reproductive rights, or the little guy struggling to provide for his family, or single parent moms trying to feed their little ones. It's scary for the entire statehood of our country and/or the world. 

The decisions made during these voting processes end up lasting 30 years or more in some cases. Consider the fact that these conservative Supreme Court judges are now more than ever willing to pass abortion bans now all of a sudden, only, that it isn't all of a sudden, but a directed, planned, and successful attack by the Right in an attempt for more control, in this case, literally over women's bodies. The Arizona abortion ban was passed yesterday but it's been in the works forever. 

There's this sort of intergenerational politics that we young people don't quite understand because we're distracted by girlfriends, wives, our kids, jobs, and making money to survive to provide for ourselves and loved ones. Behind the scenes, these plans have been made sometimes without our even being involved, because the seeds were planted in the voting processes 30 years ago or more. What does that mean? It is my opinion, that certain political ideas and actions were originally planted decades maybe even a 100 years before we came along and even voted.

The Roman Empire only lasted 1,000 years. The Egyptian Empire lasted 3,000 years. The American Empire is only 247 years old. Do we really think we could be better than the rest of the world forever? There's a certain bit of apathy as regards to this sort of stuff, politics in general, as well as within the people in the society. Nowadays when you try to get advice from the internet or in YouTube videos, people just post things about how negative everything is, and somehow this fine advice is supposed to help you on your way in this topsy-turvy universe. I see that oftentimes bad ideas and bad advice usually come from young people or university people that are marketing their brand to an unsuspecting audience. 

Have you noticed how now, more than ever, things have become strictly commercial? It's irritatingly comical in that fact. The invisible hand moves the economy, but in most cases, people are spending much more than they should have to, especially when it comes to rent, gas for their car, food, childcare, and schooling, be it private school, public school, and college. 

In a sense, the world changes once you wake up to the actual realisation of a commercial state. Your spending habits sort of define what kind of person you are, what your politics are, your job, your hobbies, your likes, dislikes, what sorts of races of people you hangout with even or talk to, the studies done by companies about what you're buying daily, monthly, yearly, tell them more about you than perhaps even FBI and NSA findings about you. 

I believe it's all about pumping more and more money into the economy at all times, even at times when people should be saving more and buying and spending less. But I'm probably more of a classical liberal on this subject than I lead on. I'm no marxist but I do believe that more people take advantage of the system in capitalism, now, more than ever. Technically capitalism is good, right? But you see the ramifications of capitalism going out of control, like today, where a burger and fries at McDonalds is $13 because they're paying the burger flipper $20 even though they pay people less than that at a lot of jobs here. 

Oftentimes, just talking about things can straighten things and even people out. Everything that you're going through, somebody else has already gone through it. Someone you know knows what you're going through because they've already done it themselves, or perhaps they're going through it at the same time as you? Likewise, jotting down your ideas and thinking in the form of writing sort of clears out a lot of ideas that you've been thinking about daily and perhaps monthly as well. 

It's like philosophy, life. But philosophy is not an idea. Philosophy is action. 

Likewise, its not enough to be a smart guy, or a guy with good virtues, who performs good acts throughout the world. A man must also have the right character. Especially in these dark times. If you believe what you hear, the world is a dark place; women/men will cheat on you, fathers will leave their children to single parent moms, Trump might win and smite all his enemies somehow, the economy is doing great and people have jobs but they're all terrible jobs like ubereats, grubhub, lyft, uber, so-called 'gig economy' work, corporate retail has become more machine-like and un-human to a startlingly high degree, Americans keep consuming more and more, they emit the most greenhouse gases into the atmosphere because they all want to drive around everywhere, harming the planet, causing more natural disasters, the propaganda doesn't look good online, so where do you go, what do you do?

The fact that you simply asked says more about you than the question itself. But again, a man hardly ever rises above the ideas of his time. If you predicted that you would be here doing this at this time but 10-15 years ago, you are either a god or a wild beast.

It would be okay to be both. 

[ps covid is still lingering, image ai generated] 

New Year, New Me, [Not Really]

Hello Universe, 

How is it going out there in the free world? It's a new year, happy 2024! It's time for all those happy go lucky social media posts where people make their new years resolutions, like to get a better body and become more healthy and sexy and find their dream spouse, and get a lotta money, amiright? I'd like to jot down some thoughts on what's been happening with me, my personal activities, working in retail, and more. 

First, I moved into a new house recently. It was a hard move that was strenuous but now that it's done I can finally relax. At the end of the month I took time off from work just to get settled into the new place and unbox everything. The new house is in a better location to get around on foot or on the bus if needed. I've been waking up earlier, going out to lunches at nearby establishments, going to the library, and more. I'm still working at the grocery store and it's going well. Since the holidays are over, things have slowed down there, for now. Covid still lingers there from time to time, so I've still been wearing my facemask.  

I kept up playing piano and drums. Now, I'm finally making good progress on piano, at least trying to move from beginner to something like intermediate, although it will take a while. My dad decided to keep our late step-mom Maureen's Yamaha grand piano, so I've been playing that piano. Today, I recorded an eight minute grand piano solo, [which you can hear piano solo no. 1] With the piano, I'm trying to focus on playing jazz chords and improvising. I practice everyday, and actually have preferred practicing piano as of late, because my guitars and amp are all backed away and it's easier to just play the grand piano for now. 

Likewise, I've been keeping up with drums. I go to guitar center and just play the drums there. You can hear my most recent drum playing here.

Second, I'm still reading a lot and doing a lot of AI art. You can check out my Instagram page here. The picture featured at the top of this page is an AI art creation. At the end of last year I read a lot of science fiction novels by Iain M. Banks, who died early in his 50s. Terrific writer, but he writes terribly long science fiction space opera, albeit it's amazing writing and great space opera, but the some seven books I read of his were definitely time consuming and not easy reads. Space opera for the literati. Right now all my books are packed away so I just bought for a dollar, a paperbacks editions of Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky and Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I'm keeping up with the western canon, now I've read about 300 works. But I feel like I've barely scraped the surface in terms of what can be learned within knowledge, within the realm of imagination, and the curiosity of man himself. 

At the end of last year, I kind of went into deep hibernation bear mode. The bear knows when to sleep but the bobcat knows when its time to hunt. I find getting up earlier and going out more has been better for me, being productive keeps me energetic, and I'm liking the atmosphere of the new house better and more easily able to adapt to this. Sometimes on Mondays I go to this open blues jam at the bar, and I sit in and play guitar. I go out to dinners with family on my days off work. 

Lastly, I've found that life is made up of thoughts, actions, and plans for the future. There's a lot to do. Work is still time consuming, but with a schedule for the day, the week, the month, the next three months, the next six months, the next year, things are much more manageable within a smaller timeline and with hard goals split and separated into smaller and more manageable goals.

I want to get better at piano and be able to play jazz standards on it, keep reading, write more short stories and perhaps a novel [I actually have written a novel, but nobody's seen it], keep blogging about everything, and keep up with my guitar and drums too. Work has been good, the hard work keeps me awake. 

That's it for now, see you later, space cats. 

In sylvan realms where twilight's whispers creep, The bear, a sagacious entity, seeks a somber keep. As autumnal regalia, the leaves cascade, He intuits the impending winter's serenade.

With fur of resplendent aureate hue, He embarks on a quest for a snug haven's view. A sanctuary, where crystalline brooks freeze, In dreams of honeyed combs and berries with ease.

Yet by the babbling stream, where moonbeams wink, The bobcat prowls, a phantom feline in sync. His eyes, aglint with nocturnal savoir-faire, In stealth, he traverses the tapestry of air.

For as the bear in dormant repose lies, The bobcat, vigilant, neath the celestial ties, Stalks in the silent hours of night's embrace, A sovereign of shadows, embodying grace.

In nature's ballet, a harmonious ballet, The bear succumbs to rest, the bobcat to ballet. One cradles dreams of vernal rebirth, The other, a custodian, prowls the moonlit earth. [AI generated]

Verano de Trabajo

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, 

It's been a while since I've last posted. I've been on hiatus primarily because I've been very focused at work, working full-time, 40+ hour weeks. The work has been fast-paced and intense, yet rewarding when the check comes through. My pay went up a dollar recently due to union benefits from last summer when the company was going to strike, but ended up getting a deal where we workers get a dollar a year for three years. Not too shabby. 

Where have I been? Well, I've been working a lot. I work the second shift, 330pm-12am, five days a week, sometimes six or seven days a week during the holidays as needed. As a result I've been very tired. I try every day to maximize my sleep in order to keep up my energy in this fast-paced work environment. 

The job hasn't gotten any easier. In fact, sometimes it feels like the job got harder. I'm a cashier most of the time at the market, the same gig I've been writing about for years here on this said blog, but usually I'm running a self-checkout area by myself, running seven registers and helping everybody as needed, as well as watching to make sure that everybody pays, doesn't steal anything, and scans all their stuff. It sounds like an easy job on paper but it's demanding and the boss and managers demand a lot of you. 

That's not to say I can't do it, because I've been promoted at the job since last year, but sometimes it gets trying, as opposed to tiring. It's a given that you're going to get tired working retail but sometimes you don't expect that people will become belligerent and steal an expensive bill's worth of groceries when you're helping somebody else. 

About a month or so ago, I was helping two black guys, and their card didn't go through for a $70 bottle of liquor. When I told them their card didn't go through, they grabbed the bottle out of my hands and just walked out of the store. I yelled at the security guard to stop them, called them thieves, but the guard just didn't do anything. It was the first time I'd ever been robbed point-blank at my job. Usually thieves just try to run out unnoticed and skip out on the bill on the payment screen on the self-checkout terminals, they don't usually have the audacity to grab things out of my hands and just walk out. That was quite an experience. Keep in mind that my store is in a very nice area and its a multi-million dollar store. There's a first time for everything, as they say. 

That being said, my job is still pretty easy. The best part is that we have a high-powered industrial air conditioner that keeps the place very cold. Perfect for this 90-100 degree heatwave we're having right now. I think I've been very tired physically but writing about it here makes me feel a lot better, LOL.

Does labor have a good footing currently in America? Sag-Aftra has just gone on strike with the workers, that's over 160,000 employees. I don't think labor is in a good spot in America right now and despite what the economists say about how good the jobs numbers are and how good Americans are really doing despite what they think, I think it's a load of crap. 

First of all, I don't believe that the jobs the majority of people have right now are good jobs. I think a few people with college degrees, degrees in certain fields, have good jobs, and what's left for the vast majority of people are what they call gig economy jobs. 

My friend who's in the best spot is simply a sales manager at the same grocery store company that I work for, he makes about two dollars more than me. Another friend I have drives lyft and uber almost every night to make rent. Another friend I have does uber eats eight hours a day. Another friend I have parks cars at restaurants and such. Another friend is a dishwasher at a restaurant. Another friend that didn't make it at my job now works at McDonalds. These aren't exactly what I call good jobs or people in a very good situation, if anything, it represents a dark turning point in labor, where life has become more difficult in terms of making money, paying rent, and living that happier, purpose driven life. Keep in mind even though my friend is making two dollars more than me, he still wants more out of life, and isn't happy with the gig. I would say the world we live in is becoming ever more and more a gig economy working world, which is not good.

Now, for the good! Despite working nonstop, I've been able to read a lot of books. Lately, I've been really into Will and Ariel Durant's Story of Civilization series, a history book collection about the history of civilization starting with the Greeks and ending in the Age of Napoleon. I've also been able to read a lot of science fiction novels including the two novels by Arkady Martine, A Memory Called Empire and the sequel. As well I found R.F. Chuang's Babel to be an amazing fantasy story that involves the deconstruction of colonialism. Guns, Germs, and Steel was a fascinating read about the fates of human societies, although I don't completely buy some of the theories in there. A Thousand and One Arabian Nights was a great escape into Middle Eastern fables and culture. 

So you can arguably say, that although I'm worker bee, my job still allows me the time to be an intellectual and read a lot of books. In the past, I used to just play video games and think that was okay, but as I'm getting older, I'm finding more value out of reading books, reading the news daily, and watching the news. Not bad for a retail grocery guy.

Within toil's embrace, 'neath summer's grace, Work's tapestry weaves, reflecting gratitude's trace. Diligent labor, virtues dance and entwine, Friendship's gem bestowed, goodwill's symphony divine.

Thoughts surge and soar, wisdom's zephyr at play, Grateful heart's whisper, joy blossoms, come what may. Nurtured by toil's loom, virtues spun like gold, Kindness unfurls, a celestial story, yet untold.

Labor's rhythmic waltz, life's essence distilled, With cherished companions, hearts forever thrilled. Gratitude's dwelling, an everlasting rhyme, In work's tender embrace, a sonnet of sublime. [ai generated, image ai generated]

April Fools

Good evening,

It's good to see you. I'd like to jot down some notes. 

First, once the holiday months passed, work became a lot slower. Typically in retail grocery this happens every year. Business picks up again in spring and summer. The holiday period was so intense this year that I'm glad to see less hours across the board. That doesn't sit well with the other employees though, who are counting on 40+ hours every week to make ends meet. But once April comes around the bend everybody will be working a lot more again and making more money. 

Second, the most exciting thing that has happened is the developments around A.I. I've been especially into A.I. art. I started doing A.I. art the first month the art generators came out and I've really taken to it. I've tried all the best ones but the one I've taken to the most is Stable Diffusion 2.1 version, using BlueWillow on Discord and Magespace. I would like to use more Midjourney and Dall E2 but those cost $10/month. 

With Stable Diffusion I can practice a lot of prompts to keep tweaking my art styles without paying money. I don't know if there's a path along the road where I can change my knowledge into money, but for now it's been a big thing for me because it's something I can do solo and its using new, cutting-edge technology. 

One of the best things ever about doing A.I. art is that I learned that I have a good eye, I can tell good art when I see it. On top of that, the prompts work by text, so depending on how much you know, or potentially could know, you can create almost anything, endlessly.

Check out some of my A.I. artwork on Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/jazzerrocker779/.

Third, I've kept up with a lot of reading. Tonight I did a lot of reading reading the news. The big story is that Trump has finally been indicted. 

I've read seven books so far this year: Will and Ariel Durant's Rosseau and Revolution [history], Will and Ariel Durant's The Age of Voltaire [history], Anna LindenWaller's A Memory Called Empire [scifi], Anna LindenWaller's A Desolation Called Peace [scifi], Babel by R.F. Kuang [steampunk], Rite of Passage by Alexi Panshin [scifi], and Tales From A Thousand and One Nights by N.J. Dawood [canon]. 

I've also still been practicing reading in Spanish and occasionally Italian and French when I have the time. One of my goals for the year is to read the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I bought a copy at a library book sale for a dollar and it's a handsome hardcover edition.

Life seems to have slowed down for me in many respects. Most of my friends have moved far away, driven by what they think will be more happiness if they go somewhere else. Others we've simply broken up and went our separate ways because of personal problems between us or their lives just simply fell apart. 

Even though some of my friends were extremely toxic when we spent too much time together I still feel for them and hope they go on to greener pastures. But I only know too well that just by moving from one situation to another, it does not simply make all the bad stuff go away. In fact, through my own experience I've learned that it's mostly worse when you think you can run from your problems and think things will be better. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, as they say. 

That being said, I wish them all the best. But the reality of the matter is that life is tough, for all of us, and we can't run from our problems, and magically everything will be better. This isn't anime or video games or Hulu TV. 

I've tried to make the most out of my new lack of a social life by reading more, getting more rest, continuing to play and practice instruments, working on ai art, and music, using chatbots for ai art prompts, writing more, being more creative. As time goes on, I realize more and more that I have to be a creative and keep creating. 

image ai generated 

Retail Report January 2023

Good Evening, 

How is life treating you? In this crazy, topsy, turvy world one can sometimes not tell. Here I'd like to jot down some notes of what retail grocery has been like so far, this being the end of the first month of 2023. 

First, business is booming but inflation has hit our store shelves harder than ever. These are the most egregious prices for food that I have ever seen in my entire life. Many customers complain about the prices all day long and honestly, I can't blame them. We are, at this moment, selling a carton of eggs for $9.99. Meat prices are also very high. Most people stock up on the cheap stuff: grains, noodles, junk food like chips and soda, beer and wine. I don't think Americans are eating very well. And on top of that, a lot of them are beginning to become obese. Only in America. 

Second, this is sort of minor but it's little things like this that get ignored that eventually grow into bigger issues getting ignored. The store's front door that opens and closes electronically when customers walk through has been broken for the last ten days. Meaning it won't open/close electronically anymore, therefore, the store manager has decided to leave the front door open at all times. Now, this isn't too big of an issue if you're a customer going for a quick beer run but for us employees this has become a big issue in the middle of winter, where cold windy air blasts are hitting you while on the checkstand, some nights its been like 47 degrees. You can justify the fact that the door's been like that for ten days anyway you want, but I see it for what it is, cutting costs at the employees' expense. Brrrrrrrrr! 

Also, on top of that there's always the covid issue. Most management and both upper management have not been wearing facemasks since the beginning. This set a bad precedent for all the employees, so that when covid hit our store hard, many employees simply didn't even come back and we lost a lot of workers. At one point there was some 32 employees sick with covid. I was surprised but at the time the vaccine was out so I felt safer, especially with mask wearing. 

In addition, another bad precedent that the upper management set was that they decided very early to remove the plastic barriers guarding between the cashiers and the customers, both inside the checkout lanes and on the side self-checkout lanes. This is especially bad because covid isn't over and most customers don't wear facemasks, meaning they could easily spread particulates into the air by talking loudly. Although we have vaccines there are some employees and managers that don't have the vaccine, and have been infected with covid several times over, making the store still a potential place to catch covid.   

Third, business is booming and the lines are never ending, leading to tiring, long work days. Despite high inflation prices, the work is still intense and nonstop. I would say the work became much more intense since covid 2020, and has stayed that way ever since. As a cashier who mostly works self-checkout most shifts, I would say the work is at its most intense, since I've started back in 2013, shockingly. Although the work is easy and self-explanatory in most cases, overall, when you consider how many customers I'm going through and helping individually, it's a nonstop never-ending rollercoaster. 

In fact, I've had to take more time to rest and sleep longer during the day to deal with it. All my shifts are usually 330pm-12am shifts so working late all day and staying up half the night doesn't help. I'm getting older, but getting older doesn't hit you this fast. A part of it is the fact that the work I'm doing is intense, nonstop, and very fast. Most of the day you don't get time to think, reflect, or have time to think of things to say to people, including the people you're helping in the moment in real time. You learn to sort of grunt or say stock phrases and just press buttons, thus making the job more manageable. Life in big city.

Lastly, the good thing about my retail grocery gig is that I'm full time, I'm in the Union, and I've created a work persona that's somewhat popular over there. I mostly just get brownie points for being an agreeable guy and helping customers but I've become so good at it and so well known, that even my management and upper management commend me for it, whereas in the past, that wasn't always the case. Sometimes it takes a while to win over your bosses. But it is my capacity for happiness that is carrying me through what is an obviously grueling job day in and day out. 

Sometimes I think about doing other things: going back to college, getting a degree, doing something with it, going to trade school, doing something with a trade, or working harder on music and a band and touring, or just writing like I am now, only writing books and selling them. There's a myriad of things I could do, or not do, but none of that changes my degree of happiness or capacity for happiness. Surprisingly, I'm happy doing what I'm doing now. I sort of see that the work has become a one-note samba, but I won't let that discourage me from my path. The only path I see right now, is the path moving forward, into tomorrow. 

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The Age of Voltaire by Will Durant

 

The Age of Voltaire is volume 9 of Will Durant's Story of Civilization series. So far I've read four of Will and Ariel Durant's Story of Civilization series of books: The Italian Renaissance, The Life of Greece, The Age of Reason Begins, and now finally I've read The Age of Voltaire. 

Closing this book, I felt that this was an extensive and comprehensive history of the age right up to and leading into the French Revolution, the Age of Enlightenment in France, roughly 1680s-1780. Voltaire was born in 1694, ensconced in education through the Jesuits. The Jesuits were the main educators in this period and had a lot of influence over schooling of children [boys and girls] and even sometimes in government and various occupations. They were known for being very educated and lenient towards their people, although they themselves were also quite dogmatic about Christianity and its spread throughout other parts of the world like in Latin America and even China. Despite this early great education from the Jesuits, Voltaire grew to increasing dislike the Church as he gained more fame and influence. He spent a lot of time running around to different homes and even the home of Frederick the Great because of his critiques of the church and nobility.  

However, there was a lot more going on in the Church other than Jesuits. There was the growing disputes between church, the peasantry, the aristocrats, the nobles, and the church's feuds with protestants [Jansenists], Catholics, and atheists from the philosophes, the intellectuals [writers, philosophers, scientists, artists, mathematicians, playwrights] like Voltaire, Diderot, Rosseau, Montesquieu, and d'Alembert. These named in particular would have the greatest influence on France and in the world. 

It should be named that being a philosopher in 18th century France isn't the same thing as being a philosopher in the 21st century. These intellectuals delved and wrote in a variety of fields and styles in order to reach their audience in the best ways they could. Voltaire didn't think much of giant books like the Encyclopédie [famous 18th century book from France by the philosophes], rather he thought that small books easily concealed would serve him better. So he ended up writing a lot of small works that contributed to his vast body of works. So Candide ended up becoming his most famous book.

But not every intellectual was an expert in a particular field. Rather a philosophe, was someone who was expected to know a little bit about every subject, even if they themselves weren't a master in each field. In order to write the Encyclopédie, the writers utilized and employed different philosophes for different phrases and words that they didn't feel adequate enough to cover themselves.

What caused the French Revolution? This book doesn't entirely aim to answer this question, rather it focuses more on historical detail. But after reading The Age of Voltaire, you can figure it out.

France was deep in debt from wars and the debt fell upon the peasants more and more, as the nobility became more and more corrupt. Tensions increased between the nobles and the church, and eventually even the Jesuits who had educated all the best minds of the time, were expelled from France. On top of that, the educated people were being more and more exposed to the works of the intellectuals of the time, the philosophes, and now, more than ever, people were more willing to become atheists, little by little, influenced by these great men with big ideas, ideas that changed the world, would eventually lead to the world we live in now. A world of more religious toleration, human rights, democracy, and equality.

Although the Age of Voltaire was published in 1965, it seems to somehow resonate in the scatter-brain afterimages of 21st century 2023. There's something there in this book that has an everlasting effect on the time it is describing, the time it was written in, and the time I live in now as I write this. It seems that now, more than ever, we're living in a world increasingly fraught with the same problems, plus a bunch of new additional ones, that weren't quite resolved from the French Revolution and perhaps never will be solved.

It has occurred to me after reading four volumes of Will Durant's Story of Civilization series, that the problems of any age seem to follow and recur in many others. There's always an endless cycle; renewal, back to the classic ages, onto a newer more advanced, more intellectual more philosophical more scientific less God, then an eventual regression back into a simpler mode of civilization, except we never really find out or perhaps we never can find out, that the civilization itself has already and always collapsed, only to be rebuilt by other people anew.

It is said that on his deathbed, Voltaire, when asked to return to the faith of his fathers and renounce the devil, responded with, “This is no time to be making new enemies.”