Hello, ladies and gents. I haven't written in quite a while. This summer has been very intense. Mostly because of the coronavirus. I'm actually not even that busy and should've been reading and writing a lot more, but hey, sometimes it's hard to get in everything that you want to do in life. This is one of those times even though ironically most people are unemployed and sitting at home due to the virus. Meanwhile, the rest of us poor saps are working because we're essential workers. I've met a lot of new friends recently. They're all good chaps and they've really inspired me in a lot of ways. Through them, I've gained a lot more confidence in myself and have been pushing myself to be more outgoing socially. Through them, I realized that in a lot of ways I haven't seen myself in the way that I should, and that other friends, coworkers, and people sometimes drag me down for their own purposes. It was quite a realization.
It made me see myself in a different light, a better light. I realize the need to stay humble in life but I also see the realization that sometimes you have to act like you're better simply because you are. It's difficult to explain in words. Famous people would get it. Successful people would get it. Well, now I get it. Took a long time to get through but I made it. Now, what do to with it? Only time will tell.
Saying all that, I've also sort of unlocked new parts of myself within. This is where I go all metaphysical. In the past couple of weeks, maybe the last month or two, I've reached a sort of meta plane realization. I've gone back to my teenage roots even though I thought I've surpassed it and will never revisit it. I started playing guitar a lot more, started listening to only classic rock, and have been more outgoing socially with everybody I come in contact with. Because I read all the time, my conversation skills are the highest they've ever been, making me a hit pretty much anywhere I go. Although I'm half deaf and it's hard to listen to people I've learned to do it with extreme efficiency. My voice sounds cool and it's not as loud and overbearing as in the past, where I used to have trouble hearing myself. Life is good.
Because I listen to so much music and really listen and focus hard on the music and lyrics, I've become a man of a thousand songs, literally. I plan on studying all my favorite classic rock music, really getting a feel for the songs, and writing my own songs in a somewhat similar vein in terms of harmony. I plan on getting back to recording music again soon. I'm still doing my jazz jam with the saxophone player Jason but I'm sort of losing interest in jazz. Mostly because I'm not really a jazz guitarist, but I'm talented enough to play it and fake it. But I'm no Wes Montgomery or Jim Hall, that's for sure. But I sure as hell will try.
Finding yourself in the time of COVID feels different. Who am I really? It's a hard question that most people end up asking themselves their whole lives. I see myself as a painted bird, I have to choose my surroundings wisely or things will just not work out the way I'd like them to.
That being said, the virus is still going strong, the protests are surging, and we have a Trump Gestapo in Portland but there is a silent majority working against Trump. I'm a big news junkie and read it every day, I recommend you all do the same.
"I'm the last of the good old fashion steam train."
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